I have decided to just let nature take its course.

I am done.
Done with trying to get doctors to take me seriously
Done with trying to convince people that I am not a hypochondriac or a junkie or trying to game the system for personal gain.

Done with trying to explain to family and friends my latest round of symptoms and disabilities, done with the veterans health care system, done with greedy health care organizations, big pharma, and insurance companies that only care about you as long as their bottom line isnt threatened.

I am through.

I have heart problems, circulatory problems, nervous system problems, breathing problems, I am bipolar, and I am humongously fat and prediabetic.

All my problems are, on some level, my own fault...I was too weak and stupid to learn how to be a proper man, I abused my body when I was young and dumb, I stopped moving around and taking proactive care of myself...and now I am suffering for it.

I have let my doctors and shrinks at the veterans administration know that I want to cancel all future appointments, stop taking what little medicine they have prescribed me, and just move to an assisted living facility and let myself die, alone and in pain.

I have told my family and friends to ignore me, stop trying to understand me, and just leave me alone.

I am just..done...with everything.

NO, I am NOT suicidal, I am NOT going to harm myself or anyone else, I just plan to die alone and suffering, because I deserve it.

Thank you to those who reached out to me, I appreciate the effort, but its time to just reap what I have sown.

Yes, thank you for serving! It doesn’t matter what we have done in the past, you do not deserve that! I can only imagine how frustrated you are and I am sorry you do not have better care.

Good luck
I am so sorry to hear your story. Sad fact is so many suffer now due to the so called opioid crisis.
(it's Fentynal that is killing people not prescribed opiates) This has forced extreme policy guidelines that make it nearly impossible for a doctor to prescribe opioid medication.
Lucky for me I was in a trial of buprenorphine for pain patients and found this medication is a near "wonder drug"
I take a rather large amount but it helps my pain and I feel normal unlike the feeling I got when I morphine, methadone and oxycontin.
Stay as positive as you can and know things can get better. A lot of us have been in that dark place.

Good luck

Glen