How do you handle rude nurses and doctors?

Hello.  I hope that everyone is having as pain-free a day as possible.

Can I get some feedback on how I should handle a nurse from my doctor's office that was very rude and insensitive to me earlier in the week?  I'd appreciate any feedback on how you've handled rude doctors and nurses in your own life as well.

My regular doctor is out because he just had surgery.  I have severe abdominal and pelvic pain due to hydronephrosis, endometriosis, and partial bowel obstructions.  I take Lortab and Percocet for the pain, and my doctor has been following the recommendations of a respected pain management team.  He gives me a set amount of pills each month.  (This pain management team only gives advice and doesn't actually prescribe the meds.)

Last week, I called to get the Percocet prescription, and a day later, the doctor's nurse called back and said that it was ready.  I picked it up and then noticed that my doctor's associate had only written for half the amount.  I called the office back and left a message, asking if the doctor would write for the remaining quantity.  I explained that my pain is hard to control even with the full amount of Percocet, so I needed to get the entire amount.

The nurse called back the following day and was very snippy.  She told me that the doctor had underlined the lower quantity in my chart and that she was certain he would not write for more.  I asked if she would ask him, and she hung up on me.

The next day, I called back once more and repeated that I needed the remaining quantity of medicine.  I told them that I could get the pain management doctors to call and remind the office of the set amount.  Later, the same nurse called me back one last time and was absolutely nasty.  She shouted into the phone, "You have more than enough to manage your pain.  This is absurd.  He is not writing for any more because you do not need it."  Then, she raised her voice even more and shouted, "Don't you dare call back here again," and she hung the phone up with a bang.

I started crying right away.  My pain is very real, and I do not take a huge amount of medicine.  The doctor and his nurse treated me like a drug seeker, which is the farthest thing from the truth.  I have a huge amount of respect for these meds and do not abuse them.

My pain ended up becoming very severe as a result of not having enough meds to control it.  It was so bad that I thought something in me had exploded.  I almost went to an ER, but the cost kept me from actually going in.  I don't have the extra money to pay for that now.  So, for the most part, I curled up and lived through the pain.  It was horrible.

Now, I'm wondering if I should say or write something to this nurse and doctor.  I don't appreciate being talked to that way.  Do any of you have any suggestions?  When my regular doctor gets back, I'm going to let him listen to that nurse's final message so that he can realize how nasty she was. 

These health professionals need to realize how powerful words can be.  They can't judge their patients like that because they haven't been in their shoes.

Take care, everyone.  Best wishes to each of you.  Thanks in advance for your input.

Thanks for your reply, Straydog.

No, my doctor will not be coming back soon.  I'm given this set amount once a month, and I'm always given it around the same time each month.  This particular doctor is paranoid about prescribing narcotics, and I'm sure that he played some part in what that nurse said to me. 

I understand that doctors are worried about the DEA coming after them, but it's not right that their fears are being taken out on the patients that rely  on these meds to control their severe pain.

At one point, I even talked to the office manager, and even though she wasn't as rude as the nurse, she was equally as difficult. 

 

Thanks again for the reply and the suggestion, straydog.

I'm now brainstorming and trying to figure out how to get my meds until my doctor gets back.  The pain clinic is out of state, so they can't write scripts for me in my state.  My doctor's associates really should take over the care of his patients while he is gone.  If they don't want to prescribe the meds, then I just wish that they'd suggest or refer me to another doctor that is more comfortable scripting the pain meds.

Before my doctor left, he told me that his associate was going to write for the meds.  For whatever reason though, his associate decided otherwise.  It's so frustrating.  To top things off, my doctor's associates absolutely refuse to call him and ask how he wants his patients taken care of.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do about future refills.  Maybe I can get suggestions from the pain clinic, even though they can't actually prescribe the meds to me.

Even though I have been in tremendous physical pain, I was equally hurt in a different way by the way the nurse treated me.  Her rudeness and callousness was completely uncalled for.  I've been a patient of this practice for many years, and I've always been considerate of the staff and doctors.  In the last two months though, this practice has lost several nurses and hired replacements.  The one that I encountered is one of the replacements.

I can't get her last phone message out of my head.  I know that I need to just forget about her, and with time, I'm sure that I will.  What really bugs me though is that she is very likely to treat other patients like she treated me.  I seriously doubt that I'm not the only person that has been talked to like that.

I've thought about writing this nurse a letter and keeping the tone as non-confrontational as possible.  I'd like to tell her, "Let's both learn something from this horrible situation.  I've learned to not ask for any more pain meds from you or this other doctor.  Similarly, I ask that you learn that words can be very powerful.  Instead of telling someone to never call again, it may be more effective to just tell that person that there is nothing else that can be done by this doctor.  Encourage the patient to visit an urgent care if the pain gets out of hand, and, please at least validate that you realize the patient's pain is real.  Keep the tone of your voice as pleasant and calm as possible.  Please consider these suggestions because I don't want another patient to feel as diminished as I felt earlier this week when you talked to me and left me your last phone message."

Do any of you have any thoughts about whether or not this nurse and/or doctor would benefit from receiving such a letter?  Have any of you ever written letters to any health care providers that treated you rudely?

Thanks again for your feedback.  Best wishes to each of you.

 

No . 1  always always look at the script before you leave the drs office.

I would contact the office manager and ask to come in and see him or her . Tell you have a complaint and want to come in . Do not do it over the phone . Go in and file the complaint and request a written answer to the complaint and it that doesnt satisfy you ask then who is next in change of command and continue up the ladder till you get some satisfaction.  

I am sorry for your treatment! Nurses have no right to label. I have to say that it is almost like diagnosing without a license! They should be fired!

The words "Are you refusing to treat?' helped me alot.

Maybe this would help you to understand more clearly--Have you asked to speak to the doctor directly? Leave a message with the receptionist, tell her you do not wish to speak to the nurse--you need to speak to the dr. directly. Explain to the dr. how your dr. has been treating your pain and ask him outright if he has a problem with this. If he does, I would probably look for another dr. When your regular dr. returns, I would make him aware of the situation and how rude this nurse was to you. They may be unaware of the way she speaks to people, in fact, if she was so darn sure of herself she should have exhibited some manners and had the dr. call you back with an explanation or reason for what he wrote.

Sometimes they have their own rules in the office--if I call in for a prescription for something I take routinely, they will usually write only to cover until my next appointment. But the only way you can be sure there hasn't been a mixed communication is to speak to that particular dr. I would do this calmly, and try to take notes as to what he says to you in the event you have to tell this also to your dr. I go to a dr. that is in a group practice and I think the world of her. There is one dr. in that group that I have had on two occaisions when she wasn't there and I would rather suffer then ever seeing him again. He was just plain nasty.

It's not fair for anyone in pain to have to deal with such attitudes--especially since you have a pain clinic collaborating with your dr. I hope you can get this straightened out very soon but I would concentrate on doing that before doing battle with this nurse. I'm not saying never, but she isn't worth the upset that she is causing you right now. Best of luck to you!

i had this happen to me once. my doctor had to be away for a time. the Equus asinus that covered for him took it on his own to change all my medication. messed me up bad. well i complained, and my doctor said that it is writen in file that i requested this change. i convenced him this was wrong. this Equus asinus no longer works for my doctor. then i had this run in with a nurse at that office, we believe she was upset that her favorate Equus asinus was now gone. well i spoke to my doctor about what she said to me, and how i was treated, and told him there is patiants in here that could varifie what i said to him about her. to beat it all she was so proud of what she said to me, and how she treated me, that she repeated word for word, to the doctor. well needless to say, she no longer works there either. i have found that if you have a complaint, complain politely, and it will go far. my doctors feel the first half of treatment to a patient starts at the front desk. so i advise to speak with your doctor of this. if he is any good, he will fix the problem. good luck, take care of yourself, my prayers are with all.

Post Edited By Moderator (Ides) : 11/24/2007 3:04:54 PM (GMT-7)

oooh, this burns me up!

I am an office manager of a surgical practice and I live on both sides of the fence: I am a chronic pain sufferer and a medical professional.

1. The phrase "are you refusing to treat me?" is VERY EFFECTIVE. Keep using it. And ask him to detail HOW you should be managing your level 7 and up pain. Does he recommend acupuncture, suicide...give him a good idea of what options you are facing. And record the conversation. A small recorder allows you two to have a conversation and for you to keep your whits about you.
2. If you can go to the office, set up a "consultation" meeting. And don't let that doctor out of the room until he's very clear about your pain levels.
3. Find a direct pain specialist and a backup doc. Let them know why you are finding them.

There are physicians who are afraid of narcotics. I had one Gyn tell me to control my raging endometriosis by "going vegan." I walked out of her office in wracking spasms of tears, I felt so...negated. So, I mention her by name - Dr. Felecia Dawson of Atlanta Georgia - to everyone I meet. She's a quack and I call her so.

4. Write a certified letter and...
5. Here is the bootlicker, file a professional complaint with BBB, your insurer, national association your physician is affiliated with using the NURSE and the PHYSiCIAN's NPI and UPIN.

This crapola happens all the time. I was postop with a superpubic catheter that was leaking, burning the flesh off my body and my doc's associate said "well, i'm not your doc and i'm not going to read your chart so just go home and see him next week." It was July 4th weekend. Thankfully, I had a team of surgeons and I paged my lead surgeon and I filed a formal complaint against the associate. Turns out, he treats all of his senior associates' patients that way: He's LAZY.

Finally and this is drastic, but you can do it respectfully, google your docs home address. Yes, he's recovering right now and he left you in the care of another in good faith. That faith is being betrayed and your health is hanging in the balance. Write him a letter at home. Let him know you understand this is crossing the line but you haven't been able to find any other recourse. Detail for him what you have been through and ask him to refer you to someone else who is more comfortable dealing with patients with chronic pain.

Do your own research. At the end of the day, how much more of these people can you take? File your formal complaint and find a doc who gives a ats-rass about you. Do not accept suffering because of their ignorance.