no support

I'm usually a lurker here but....I'm sorry that your dad is treating you this way.
That is the reason that no one in my family knows that I take pain meds. There are only two good friends(who also have cp) that know.

I guess you could tell him your doc took you off of them...if you could get away with that.
The better choice would be to tell him 'look, I don't deserve this and if you want to see your grandkids your going to have to refrain from insulting and accusing me..' I know, that's easier said than done. Or you could educate him on pain management and explain to him that you are dependent, not addicted. Maybe your pm doc talk to him? Sorry, I'm just rattling off the first things that come to mind. Hopefully, someone else will come along with a gret idea. Family relationships are never black and white and never seem to have a simple solution.

Take care and good luck.~Mush

Kitty - I really feel your pain. I know many many chronic pain people have to make a choice - to be honest - or to be left alone. I can't think of anyone I know - except the people here - who get what chronic pain is. Who understand how it can take over your life at times. People seem to better understand a tooth ache - a broken leg - a migraine - than living in pain every second of every hour of every day.

I can say I'm not "in" your situation. I have a very supportive husband - who tries his best to understand - our friends know and understand (the best they can) - and family. BUT none of them hear much of my pain. I keep most of it inside. I still remember when I way over did things trying to keep up with my mother-in-law and her husband - I was in pain and just kept pushing through - until finally - I went to the bathroom and cried - my husband had asked over and over - "are you okay" and I kept saying I was fine. Finally when I said I was in pain - his response was "Wow, you must be in bad shape if you admit it to me".

The one thing I can relate to is abuse. I may be jumping the gun here - but I'm sure this isn't the first time he's freaked out on you. This isn't the first time he's gone off the deep end and called you names. The thing is babe, your dad is verbally and emotionally abusing you. Thats the blunt way of putting it. Even if it's only a once a week, month, or year thing, it's still harmful. If your children hear that it's even worse. It causes them to start thinking thats the way life is - thats the role that "dads" play. Thats a "male role model". You say he's the only male figure they have, but if he's treating you like that wouldn't it better for them to grow up without one than with a bad influence?

Staying for them - is going to hurt them. Please no one jump me for the comparison - but it's like an abused wife staying with a husband who beats her - because he's never hit the children. Eventually - he WILL lash out at the children. People like him who cannot keep their emotions, rage, temper, and opinions in check are poison. It seeps in slowly - and you don't know until it's too late the damage that's been done.

From a person who was physically, emotionally, and verbally abused as a child, I tell you get out while you can. I've seen all to well what growing up around that can lead to... and believe me - even if he never says a word within hearing distance of your kids - I'm sure they know.