What to SAY to others....

thought of this as a Idea  where we might all benefit from  our experiences

and   could share & glean from one another...

 

 

What do you say When people say

 

1.  How are YOU ? ___________________

 

2. So how you been lately? ___________________

 

 

3. What's new with you ?  ___________________

 

 

4.   etc..  put your New Q here

 

 

Fill in the blanks,... lets help each other come up with some answers we can sue..

with out dogging questions, hiding or lying to the outside world...

 

 

  looking for answers too

 

Shelter,
i'm probably with Chutzie in that it first depends hugely on who's asking. In most cases, a generic answer is all that's called for - as Gramps' post so painfully illustrates. Most people don't want to know, don't care, don't understand and don't want to take the time to understand. That being said, I think it is important we try to sit down with a few people who are close to use and explain (maybe using that letter cookie posted as a starter).

I think your third question is the most painful one for me to hear or try to answer, because there's nothing new with me that's good at the moment. I'd probably keep it to "nothing good" or "not much" and try to move on, because that's what I suspect the other person wants to tell me all about what's new with them and I don't want to hear how their normal life is going! Only person I'd care to discuss that with would be another CPP.

Gramps - have you ever tried responding to the response "that's good" with something like "are you out of your mind or just naturally cruel?" (only partly kiidding) Sometimes it's just not worth the energy unless it's someone you have to deal with regularly, or someone your intuition tells you really would be willing to sit down and learn to understand.

PaLady

Man, this is a big one for me b/c I just went back to work FT about two months ago after a hospital stay and a long recovery. I've worked at the same place for a ummm, 11 yrs now and I know a lot of people and they all know I have a chronic illness(s) and I get asked ALL THE TIME--DAILY-- how I'm doing from multiple people. I know they mean well, but it gets very overwhelming b/c I get this feeling that some of them are waiting to hear that I'm cured or something; I think I've scared some people b/c I'm the reality that you can go on in life, healthy, and boom, one day you're sick for no explainable reason, scary. So, what I've done, for the most part, is to say, I have a chronic illness that's very challenging and unless I tell you otherwise, let's just say it's the same day after day. I've asked some of my closest friends not to ask me about my health anymore, if I need them I will come to them--and I do often, I've realized you can't shut people out completely, every relationship is two ways.

P.S. I have a VERY dark sense of humor and people know that about me and that helps. Sometimes I'm perfectly honest and I will say, "I feel like s**t, I'm reading Nietzsche, what's the point?"