Pamela

Pamela, I've seen you mention several times in your posts about your pain doc; I can sense your frustration w/ him and it made me think of all the horrendous experience I've gone through to get to the great team of doctors I have now.  I  could be here all night telling you stories of "bad doctor" experience.  I'm just thankful that I'm where I am at now, though. I know some people live where there are only one or two doctors.  But I hate to hear people dealing with doctors that don't understand chronic pain, or that aren't willing to explore different options (treatments, meds, etc).  When we lived in CO, I had to drive (actually have my husband drive me, because I hardly drive) almost two hours to my pain doctor; for awhile, I was going every week.  I had to deal with snow, getting child-care for six kids, etc.  It was a nightmare BUT it was worth it to have a compassionate, smart doctor that was an expert in his field.  It is easy sometimes to just settle into a "comfort" zone w/ the docs we have.  Believe me, I know.  But I would just encourage you, if there is any way possible, to explore a consult w/ another doctor.  I know you said your doctor keeps saying that the pain pump is your only option...  If that's NOT something you want to explore right now, then I would encourage you to exhaust every medicine out there in your quest to get to a better pain level.  I don't know what you've been on, or what doses; I'm just saying that the pump doesn't need to be the only option. I REALLY want you (and everyone else) to have a GOOD doc.  It makes such a difference. And what's this w/ your pain doctor "singing" all the time? That would drive me crazy --Tina

Pamela , Yeah, I would definitely say it's time to find another doctor.  I've had some horrible, AND weird situations, on this health journey.  But the "I make people happy" is really bizarre.  Or, like you said, the "I love you..." comment is weird too.  Re: the xanax - I can only share my personal experiences with combining it with opiods.  I absolutely have a need for that medicine; I have more anxiety than I can function w/ at times.  However, the good that medicine does for me comes with an expense.  I think I'm ok in the moment, but it erases my memory completely.  There are large chunks of time from the past five years that are gone.  For a long time, I thought it was the pain meds.  But I starting really analyzing things and realized that these time ONLY occurred when I was combining opiods with xanax.  I have six young kids that I'm responsible for; so I made a decision at the beginning of this year to not use that medication.  I don't want to go through life not remembering anything.  When the anxiety has been too much, I've had to use Ativan.  It still blurs my memory but doesn't erase it.  But I'm only using that in extreme circumstances.  I was taking about 3mg a day w/ the xanax (1mg 3x a day).  So that's my experience w/ the medication.  I didn't have any problems coming off of it.  If the medicine doesn't cause you these side effects (or any side effects), then I wouldn't worry too much about using it.  There are many of the meds we are taking that are "addictive".  But if you are using it as directed, not having side effects, and so forth - and have a need for the med - then I personally would have no problem taking what I needed.  Re: me - thanks for asking I'm just hanging out until after the holidays.  I'm trying to hold off on making any decision.  It's the fear of the unknown.  I think my children would be damaged right now if mom had to spend another month in the hospital.  I don't want to even take that chance until after 1st of the year.  I've got a myriad of other things I need to do anyway - I need to find an endocrinologist.  I've also made the decision to go w/ my heart doc's recommendation of getting a wheelchair for mobility issues.  I want to do things with my kids again, but I can barely walk.  It's taken me a long time to put my silly pride to the side and do what I need to do.  I think I'm finally there.  Re: Pumpsters - I tried to join the group - and never heard back from the moderator.  I'll try again soon. More later.  Thanks for listening.  --Tina

Hey Pamela (and others), Insomnia sets in as usual.  Have an appt on Mon w/ my pain doc.  Need to talk to him about trying something again for sleep.  I say that, but don't know what more I'd try....  Yes, my heart doc wants me to get the pump; thinks will lower my blood pressure (I'm at a 150/110 at all times, more when stressed, and I'm on three types of heart meds).  Obviously, I'm doing damage to my heart for the long run (I'm 35).  Boys are 13 down to almost 5.  Was a healthy, active person until last pregnancy.  Got sick 10 weeks into the pregnancy; that was five years ago.  My help consists of friends and family (mostly mom/mother-in-law).  My husband's helps a lot when he's home, but he works a lot...living in CA, with six kids, the economy as it is - there's just not a choice right now.  He's taken a lot of time off in the last five years...  I'm not at the point where I need the wheelchair full-time; but I can't hardly walk through a store, or go virtuallyl anywhere... So, it would be to just get out in the world again, to some extent.  It took almost 3 1/2 years to figure everything out w/ me.  But the general consesus is that my immune-system got virtually destroyed due to virus after virus after virus (I had mono at 16, a severe case of chicken pox at 17, etc); at 19, I got the Hep B Vaccine in nursing school - I had an extremely bad reaction to it that they now think contributed to what I have now.  Combine all of that to what having six kids does to your body - and here I am.  Dysautonomia is basically a disorder of the autonomic nervous system.  The ANS controls just about every function of your body - heart rate, temperature, breathing and so forth.  There's no cure for what I have, and my doctors think it will probably get worse for me, due to the pattern over the last five years.  Yes, I'm on a couple of great support sites for that.  But, as we all know, when you have constant pain - that's all you can think about .  So, despite my other health issues, trying to get a handle on my pain issues is at the top of my list. Thanks for all the nice words.  I'm glad you are here, too; and I'm happy this board exists.  I've learned a lot.  Sorry you are dealing w/ depression - believe me, I understand.  It's especially hard to be around healthy, functioning people.  In fact, the holidays are a very tough time of year for me.  But that's for another time.... More later...Tina