the results are in

Dagger,
I think it's a little different at the college level. Not to say it's easy, especially if one is requesting expensive equipment, but the system is structured differently.

Skeye - it almost seems like you do need a bit of a break right now. Maybe that means a few days, maybe longer. I don't know. You're going through so much and to try to maintain that schedule, especially with what sounds like chronic sleep deprivation, may be too much. Please, try not to beat yourself up if that's the case because I don't think it means giving up.

I had two bouts of serious sleep deprivation but never realized how bad it was and what a toll it had taken until after I started getting a little regular sleep. One was when my mother was dying, and the other was a couple of years ago when my pain was almost totally untreated. It just makes nearly everything else an uphill climb. Now a lot of my sleep craziness is partly due to lack of working and not having to follow a schedule as much as it is to my schedule of pain meds (which I could alter some if I put my mind to it). But your schedule...well, it's extremely demanding. Cut yourself a little slack, ok?

PaLady

SKeye,
We sure do understand that feeling. The options we want on the list for at least a semblance of a "normal" life seem to have been taken off the table. And I've never been good at making lemonade, but I guess I'd better learn to get better at it.

I hope for you something unexpected opens in your path, maybe not exactly what you want, maybe not perfect, but better than what the future looks like at the moment.

And BTW - I was thinking about the snow days and yes, it was me as the prof who cancelled classes. A rarity for sure, but today would have been one of them. Have about a foot of snow and it's only early afternoon!

PaLady

Skeye,
I bought things called "get a grip" that you put on the bottom on your shoes. Sort of like studs for your feet! I'm terrified of falls, and have them on all the time in the winter outside. They're just little rubber things you stretch on over the bottom of your shoe. I got them on QVC. I think there's something else that's similar - but they're more like coils. I can't remember what they're called.

We have tied our 7th snowiest winter on record and still have a couple of months to go. Oh, goodie. This was the worst so far - maybe because it was piled on top of the older stuff. It was literally up to my hips when I went out to partially shovel. Fortunately I didn't have to go anywhere today and asked my cousin to come with his truck sometime tomorrow to plow me out. No way I could shovel the end of my driveway. It's over the top of my car!

What can you maybe over the weekend to relax your mind? A warm bath with candles and calming music? Something to help you reset so you can make decisions from a different space. I'm so glad my unemployment got extended so I have more time to get the pieces of my life into some kind of order. Things like how to apply for welfare, medicaid, etc. Joy, Joy. But I'll survive, and it's because I've got people like you to connect with.

Hugs,
PaLady