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Hurting bad at work, don't want to be here!r

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Posted 2/18/2009 2:32 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all,

I just have to egt this off my chest to someone! I came in to work today after having heria surgery on Monday but thats not my problem, I can deal w/ that pain. My neck is just killing me today, it has been since that dumb MRI I had last week! I arived at my usual 6:00am and thought I'd take it easy and pretty much stay at my desk w/ my tens unit blasting my neck, taking my meds and do some paperwork and write some orders for materials my guys in the feild need. NOT!!>> I opened an e-mail from my boss stating that he needs me to do an inventory of all the materials & tools we have out in our warehouse for his taxes ASAP! There is tons of light fixtures, panel boards, breakers, pipe, wire, OMG you name it, it's out there! I'm not suposed to lift anything heavy and I can't even turn my head enough to see whats up on the shelves let alone climb a ladder to see whats up on top! I just don't know what to do?? I though I was doing him a big favor coming back early and this is what I get! I just can't do this anymore! I think I'm going to have another episode like two weeks ago. Depression is coming over me faster than I can fight it off. I can feel the tears forming and can't stop them. I'm thinking about just leaving but if I do, I'll just go home and worry about the whole mess! I just don't know what to do????

Your hurting, confused friend,

Pete  

Posted 2/18/2009 3:04 PM (GMT 0)
So stay at work doing your desk/telephone duties and just say you are unable to do the inventory.

So how is your plan to stop working going? Hugs, Andrea
Posted 2/18/2009 3:57 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,

I am sorry to hear that. That is just way to much to do when it pain, let alone after a sugery! Please stay at your desk and be careful. Unless you have doc orders you can return to work and life things, if you get hurt workers comp just might not pay and that could result in very bad things!


Take care of yourself and see if you cannot find someone to do it for you.
Posted 2/18/2009 5:00 PM (GMT 0)
So, I wrote back and just as I was about to send, we lost our cable line! No internet for the last 1/2 hr. Thats the kind of day it's gonna be!
So, Andrea, I'll try again since I'm taking a break from my inventory. My plans? My biggest plan is to make it to Friday when I leave for N. Carolina for a long 4 day weekend w/o having a meltdown or blow-up! I will be away from everything and everyone I know and hopefully recharging for next week! Next week> Go see my Surgin to get a post surgery check up of his handywork (one of the ugliest scars I have & I have alot!) Then go see my Urologist to make sure the new Testosterone shot is working and to get a plan on how & if he will let me inject myself> I can't afford to go see him every two weeks! Then to my pain Doc wh ordered the MRI's which about killed me to see what she says about the mess in my back & neck. I'm sure she will want me to go see one of her slice & dice Orth Doc friends. Then back to my reg Doc to get the results of the bloodwork they did for my pre-opp which included my thyroid. He wants to see if it the meds I've been on for 10 years are working so I can get my anti-depression meds changed. Then he has to finish my annual physical that the pre-opp tests were not included since insurance wouldn't pay the whole test at once! Then go find a shrink to tell me I'm crazy and need more meds! So thats next weeks plan. After I get all or most of that done, I can think about the work stop plan which is on the other side of the plate! Thanks for thinking about me Andrea! Elk, thanks for the kind words, I can't imagine placing a workman's comp clain on this place, I could have done it so many times already but it's not my style. Good guys finish last remember? I could have been out of here a long time ago but I know in my heart that these are old injuries and it would be dishonest to blame them on my boss. Yes, I am the honest one here, the guy who never buys the hot merchandice thats always for sale. I don't lie either or try really hard not to. Some day I just know it's going to come back to me in a good way> it has too! Well, back to the coal mines!
Thanks again!!!
Painfull Pete
Posted 2/18/2009 6:49 PM (GMT 0)
Pete from the sounds of things you need to slow down and take a big deep breath. Its wonderful being active but I have to sometimes wonder if alot of your activities is what keeps you in such a tailspin on the pain scale. None of us like slowing down but sometimes for sanity's sake we have too. I am a pusher, PA will agree with me on that one.,lol. But this attitude is also what kept me in alot of trouble and alot of pain & grief. It basically was my own fault for pushing too far and too hard. Maybe its time you rethink some things and devise a better plan for yourself. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you find. As my pain mgt dr use to tell me "I am my own worst enemy". I think some of that attitutde was still a piece of denial, but I have since tried regrouping and its better than it was. Susie
Posted 2/18/2009 6:53 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,
Call your PM (or any doc) and ask for a note stating that you require "restricted work responsibilities" and describing what you are not able to do (be on feet, lift boxes, climb ladders, whatever). By law they cannot term you as long as your restriction lasts for less than 12 weeks per rolling calendar year. I'm sure they can make your life h-e-l-l, but just ignore all their petty threats. You seem like a good worker & I'm sure they are lucky to have you at all. Honestly, you need to take care of yourself.

I tried to do what you're trying & all it did was make things worse, then I was out again, things got better, came back too soon, things got worse, until I finally just stayed out for a few months and got fixed for good. Well, by that time they said I had been in & out so many times that they couldn't keep me and that if I would have just taken 12 weeks all at once in the first place and gotten well that they would have had to keep me on, but since I missed a total of more than that, they were letting me go. Now, a lot of people are being let go at my company, so that really wasn't the only reason, but looking back I wish I would have put myself first and gotten well when I first had the chance instead of trying to go into work as many days as I could manage to drag my butt out of bed and down to my car to drive to work. :) I know it seems like you're better off to go in as much as possible, but maybe that isn't always the case. Just some food for thought ...

I do hope you make it okay through the day with all your neck pain. I will say a prayer for you. :)

peace,
frances
Posted 2/18/2009 7:29 PM (GMT 0)
Susie & Frances,
Oh you both make so much sence! It's just so hard to tell the whole story in these little blips we send each other. So many things about my sittuation here at this job, so many things w/ my pain, so many things w/ my wife and personal life that you could never know unless you were here. Ya know? Susie, I have been rethinking everything since my meltdown a week and a half ago, it's a work in progress if you know what I mean. But there are changes coming, I promiss you that! Frances, I understand what you mean about taking off and getting written excuses. Those kind of things don't fly in Florida. It's a "Right to work state" meaning they can let you go at any time and don't need to have a reason for doing so. Unions don't mean anything in Flori---DA!!! Not that I'm worried I'll be let go, I know they need me here but I will be leaving sooner than I had planned and want to get all my duckies in a row before that time comes. I'm working on getting all my medical problems at least looked into while I still have insurance. I heard about the Pres's COBRA plans but the last time I had COBRA about 4 years ago, it was $1,200 a month and some of my Doctors would not even accept it! I lost my favorite Urologis over that back then! Anyway, thanks so much for caring> It means a lot to me!
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers and ATE THEM ALL!!!
PickledPepperPete
Posted 2/18/2009 7:45 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,
i'm not doing too well myself, but thought I'd just add this may be the perfect time to get COBRA. From what i heard yesterday - and it's only what i heard so I think you'd need to go to that recovery.gov website and check it out for sure - the government is going to pay half or more of your COBRA premium. Now that's the same insurance as you have now, except you pay the entire premium yourself rather than your employer paying for it. But it only lasts 18 months in most instances. I heard on the news the government assistance with the COBRA premium would only be for people laid off from 9/1/08 to the end of 2009. Check into it.

PaLady
Posted 2/18/2009 7:59 PM (GMT 0)
Pete I know its hard writing in bits & pieces but we are all pretty good at ciphering things,lol. I agree with you on getting as much of your medicare done now rather than waiting to do it later on Cobra. Just don't go overboard and get too many irons in the fire and overwhelm yourself. Sometimes when I get too many drs appt going in one week I have to decide which is the most important and then move some of the others to the following week. For some reason it is so easy to become overwhelmed, something I never had a problem with in my old life.

I do think regrouping and getting your priorities in order would help you out tremendously. One of the hardest lessons for me to learn as a CP patient, was my days of 500 MPH pace is over. No matter how you slice it or dice it we have to slow down, our bodies demand this of us and pushing it helps no one.

You seem to battle depression in a bad way. Why doesn't your dr try you on a different antidepressant? Mine have had to be changed out over the years, they just get to the point where they lose their punch. If I were in your shoes I would be making this my number 1 feat to get handled. If you can get your depression under control it will make you feel better, think better and just be better all the way around. By no means am I saying this is your cure-absolutely not, but it will make a lot of things you need to change fall into place better. I know when my depression gets out of control, I am out of control. Wishing you the best...Susie
Posted 2/18/2009 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, The only thing I'd say is I support whatever you decide to do...
and Lots and Lots of soft hugz, so you can make it through just one more day till
going on that special trip of yours, aim for it, make it a nice present to yourself...
Have fun on your trip....
I caught a 20 inch catfish in Ohio, fishing with my grandpa-pa, was a nice trip that year....
Posted 2/18/2009 8:07 PM (GMT 0)
Pete,
Illinois is also a "right to work" state, but there are still certain reasons they can't fire you. FMLA-protected absences or limited work are one such instance. But you're the only one who knows all the details about your situation & only you can make decisions about balancing work with preventing worse health problems. I'm sure you'll know just what to do! :)

frances

PA-
Pete said before that he doesn't just have regular insurance, but also Aflac supplemental. I don't know how that works, but I think normally you can't get the supplemental coverage through COBRA. Any thoughts?
Posted 2/18/2009 8:21 PM (GMT 0)
I hear you loud and clear Susie. I wrote a little blip above about seeing my Doc next week to get my blood test results back. When I last saw him about 2 weeks ago, I told him how depressed I was and wanted to try changing meds. He said, not untill we get your thyroid results back and see if your meds need to be adjusted for that first. I don't have a thyroid anymore and haven't changed meds in 10 years so there's a good chance he's right!
PA, I also blipped that I know about the Pres's new COBRA plan but I didn't go into it. Hopefully I will not even have to get it, just switch over to my wife's insurance policy if she doesn't lose her job.
Chart, what can I say? You are so sweet! Thanks for your support! You're right, One more day!!!
Lov you guys!!!
Pete
Posted 2/18/2009 8:22 PM (GMT 0)
Frances & Pete, Texas is a "right to work" state too. But a smart employer can and will find inventive ways to fire an employee if he so desires. Seen it happen too many times.

Susie
Posted 2/18/2009 8:23 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Frances, I can't write anymore now, gotto run. I'll try to get back later!
THANK EVERYONE FOR YOUR HELP!!! YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!!
PETE
Posted 2/18/2009 9:00 PM (GMT 0)
Frances - I'm no expert with insurance/COBRA stuff, so I sure don't want to lead Pete in the wrong direction! I was just watching the COBRA issue hoping - praying - that I might get some help, as my 18 months is up in June anyway. That would take the burden off my cousin, because I'm not sure how much longer she can help and then it's Medicaid for me. And THAT's a scary thought. The government really dictating every aspect of my health care.

I do know I don't get any different treatment from my physicians with COBRA because it's the same insurance that I had before; I just have to pay the whole premium - but it's the group premium, not an individual. I could never afford that again. That's what got me into huge debt over the past 10 or so years - paying for my own health insurance as a self-employed person. Anyway, don't want to sidetrack Pete's thread.

I remember, Pete, about the thyroid plus the hormones and both can be contributing to mood swings. Doesn't your doc have the thyroid tests back yet? If so, he should be able to tell if your thyroid meds need adjusting - and maybe you'd enjoy your long weekend even more! I do hope you focus on that future you have your eye on building rods (did I get that right? I don't fish even though I live on a Lake!).

Take care, Pete,

PaLady
Posted 2/19/2009 2:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Pete,

I hope you made it through the day okay! Thinking of you & sending hugs your way!

Skeye
Posted 2/19/2009 2:54 AM (GMT 0)
Pete, sorry you have such a butt for a boss. My dad had an operation for hernia & he was down awhile, & he's a strong man. Somedays my friend, we need to tell people we just can't do it. Somedays we hurt. Tell him you can't due to stipulations from your surgery...... I know whenever I have an MRI I hurt for a few days. Luckily, where I live they have the new stand-up jobs. So no more lying down. (And, I usually have to sedate myself for MRIs.) They can be painful. Hope you are keeping ice/heat on it. I really think it helps.... so does a nice bath- no weight in water- remember that, it'll take some of the pressure off the painful parts- at least for a little while. How are things otherwise? Hope you are feeling well............ Have a fantastic evening. -Shan
Posted 2/19/2009 7:26 AM (GMT 0)
Pete' here's to hope that Thursday will fly by so that on Friday you'll be on your
way looking at fishing gear...I'll try to speed up the time for you on Thursday and
slow it down on Friday so you get a nice long weekend, my wish for you...
soft hugz...
Posted 2/19/2009 1:48 PM (GMT 0)

Pete,

I am so sorry for everything you are going through.....you stated in one of your posts you wouldn't slap a Workers Comp claim on your employer.....please re think this, if you have a claim make it.  I didn't when I should have because I loved my job and boss.  It was the biggest mistake of my life.  My injury was from work, when I left I did get SSD right away, but, while waiting for Medicare to kick in, I was unable to get Health Insurance.  It is the law that employers pay into WC, its Insurance coverage they have...if you have a legitimate claim...please file it.....don't live to regret like I did.  Paying out of pocket for work related injuries, is just NOT right.

Please take care of yourself and don't let them force you to do what you can't.

edt

Posted 2/19/2009 3:03 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry Everyone,
I'm working hard today to get everything doe so I can get the hell out of Dodge ASAP!!! Wish I had time to write and thank Y'all but can't right now!!
Thanks for all your replies! I'm honnored!!!
Your "speedy for his size & pain" Friend,
Pete
PS. called my Doc last night in agony!! No help there except she said I could double my Oxie dose, I did but it didn't help! I'm going away with or without this GD-pain!!!
Posted 2/20/2009 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
Where are you off to?
Posted 2/20/2009 1:52 AM (GMT 0)
My "ugly stick" and Rappala want to go fishing too!!!! (fishing rod and lure for those who don't know) Best wishes Silly Pete!!!! See ya, Andrea
Posted 2/20/2009 1:55 AM (GMT 0)
Rappala???? shocked That's a word? wink It's a first for me!

PaLady smilewinkgrin
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