my parents are kicking me out if I don't go to rehab....

I don't know enough about the situation to offer you any advice. But I think maybe you should sit down with your parents and honestly discuss the situation with them. open communication is always good. Hopefully, you can all come to some sort of compromise and get things worked out. Sorry I wasn't much help. Good luck to you and I hope everything works out well for you.
Anice

Hi AngMichelle!

I'm so sorry you're in this situation, it must be awful for you. It sounds like you are someone who would never even consider taking mom's or anyone elses pills ... but it happened. Withdrawal is awful and it turned you into someone you didn't know, an inner you that wanted the pain to quit and needed the pills. Sweet Ang...that is a sign of addiction. It's not your fault! It's how your system is wired. You tried for all you're worth and the need for the medicine took over. You are a very sweet lady inside and this is torturing you. But there is a way out.

In patient treatment is more than just locking you up. You have a chance to start over again, to get help with your pain and find out how your own body needs the pills. There is so much more to treatment that just taking the pills away. I know you don't want to hear this but I think you should go. It will show your parents that you are serious and likely restore the trust that was broken between you and your mom. I'm guessing living with your parents is tense. This would end that and give you your life back. The AngMichelle that you know is inside of you will be able to be in charge again and you will also get help with the pain.

I'm not a doctor but this is my experience with teenagers talking. It would take a short time out of your life and make the rest of it so much better.

Hugs,
Chutzie

Chutzie and PaLady know what they're talking about. Pain Meds are only a temporary solution or a lifelong stop-gap solution. They will never, ever take away all pain. Unless you get help, you'll know nothing but misery the rest of your life. I suppose a lot of your problems (depression, anxiety, etc.) result from the fact that you don't feel comfortable with your current lifestyle. ANd you know it's not the pain, it's the fear of living without pain meds, the knowledge you turned into something you are not. These are the demons haunting you. Confront them, you into therapy. Sorry to tell you, but you got an addiction problem, that needs to be taken care off by specialist, so that means "In Patient Care". Why not cintinue Out Patient Care you ask? Simple answer: you tried and failed. It's not going to be easier next time you try Out Patient Care. Let the pro's take care charge; after all, if you have a crushed leg, you'll have no trouble in letting the pro's do their job would you? ANd you'd have no problem of remaining in the hospital for a while right? ANd revalidation afterwards? This is basically the same thing. You're ill and you need treatment, as simple as that. I know it may seem unbelievable at this point, but there is a life without pain meds. There is also a life with managed pain meds and even a life with pain. Just a question of habit. You'll feel better physically as soon as yu get this over with and we'll still be here for you. We'll always be here. Now talk to your parents and get yourself some treatment.

thanks for all the replies.

I'm now on the search. I looked at one place, even talked to someone and it was going to be 13000!!! I cannnot afford that and I"m afraid to end up in a state hospital.

Anyone know of a good place, preferable Christian that I could go to with out paying thousands of bucks?

AngMichelle, I do know of a Christian program that allows people in regardless of their ability to pay. There are certain requirements but they have a wonderful program. I am willing to send you information. I believe you can get my email from my profile if not let me know and I will make it available.

Fatherjohn, I couldn't find your email, mine is [email protected] if you could send me that information. thanks

I want everyone to know that I know what I did was wrong and I'm trying to get help.

Angmichelle, I sent you an email with information. Please check us out and I will be more than happy to answer any questions that you have. We are not the only recovery services rehab program there is. Let me know what else I can for you. First off, know that there are people who care. I have been very careful not to post the name of the organization that I work for as I don't want anyone to think I am using this forum for any other purpose but seeking encouragement and connecting with people that have a common life issue of chronic pain. Blessings!

Hello, if you have so much pain, have you looked into Suboxone treament??? I got on it to withdrawal comfortable off of all narcotics, and found that it is wonderful for pain, so now my doctor and I are using it for a few years to help with my severe pain. I actually find it to work better then any narcotic I've ever used before, and it works so fast and for a very long time (37 hours), and it blocks other narcotics so it makes it hard to relapse, and it's formulated to prevent tolerence and abuse. And the makers of Suboxone now have a program where they have perfessionals helping you out with treatment for the first few months for free. It's a very expensive med, but the makers of Subs have a program o get htem for free if you have no insurance, or insurance that wont cover it. If you go to the Suboxone websight, they have a thing where you ype in your zipcode and they give you a list of doctors, or you can go the NAABT websight and they have a thing you fill out and the doctors will contact you. But this is just a thought if your suffering from pain, and most detox centers use suboxone to help detox cause they have such great results with it, the chance of relapsing is alot smaller then other methods. Well anyways, good luck. I'm working to advocate for methadone and/or Suboxone treatment centers in my area as their is none, and we are having many people overdose on pain meds and more who are addicted , some who I know personally, so I have been talking to doctors from my church (we have quite a few) and they're advertising it to their partnerst as most have not heard about suboxone, but I have just started, and so far it seems to be going well, but I will not stop til we get some help around where I live, I refuse to sit back and watch people around me not be able to get help that they deserve.

-hellokitty

Hello AngMichelle
When I was receiving treatment for my addiction I went to a day rehab. This meant that I had to be there early every morning and stay there for 12 hours whilst receiving treatment with others like me. Each night we were sent home. Is this type of service available? It seems as though it may be the most suitable option for your needs and wants.
It would prove to your mum that you were serious about your medication problem and she could see that you were making a concerted effort. This is the part that you probably don't want to hear but I feel that I would be doing you a dis-service if I didn't - unless you have reached rock bottom - and I think faking your mum's script was rock bottom for you - the treatment will not work. It does not matter how much other people want you to change. You have to want to change. I am proud of you for wanting to sort this problem out and I can understand where your problem came from - a fear of pain made you try and pre-empt flare ups and eventually , without you realising it your tolerance had built up and you needed more and more medication to treat the pain. It is so easy to do and it is a real blessing that you've realised the problem now and want to do something about it before it's too late.
I don't know if your mum stays at home or even if you work but once you've had your hospital treatment would it be possible for your mum to keep your medication and give it to you whenever it was needed by you? That way she could keep a track of the amount of medication you are taking and if necessary, the two of you could re-visit your Doctor together and have your medication changed or the dosage increased if the painkilling effect wasn't working or it wore off too quickly. Having her included in this process should hopefully build bridges.
I wish you lots of luck finding the right programme for you. If you need to talk one-to-one about how you feel when you are going through treatment please feel free to e-mail me. Take care.