Addict or Dependent, some don't care.

Fatherjohn,
My jaw is still on the floor, although when you mentioned contacting an attorney in another post I had a hunch it was something along these lines. But the way you're being treated...it's appalling.

What do they mean by anyone taking more than the "regiment" of narcotics is an addict? Not taking meds as prescribed? Since they don't know what's prescribed, how could they know if you were following doctor's orders. They couldn't. What do you suspect is going on? I mean, how could they find anyone to replace you who would do all you do?

I am glad you are seeking the services of an attorney. What I truly hope is that you follow his/her advice, and it may be hard for you, because you are so used to putting everyone else first, especially the students. I hope, for example, that you use your vacation if you're going to lose it after Jan. 1.

The devil will likely be in the details, as usual. I don't know what their policies are on paper re: staff and use of prescribed medications. I do understand the issue you're facing, however. Interestingly just this past week I e-mailed a local organization about a part time job advertised with their dual diagnosis program. And then I thought about the conflict, knowing urine screens would be required, and I'd have to disclose things, and I'm not even sure I could work a part time job anyway.

I'm a bit puzzled by the uncaring way in which you were treated; is this typical, or is there something else going on here - like someone's relative they want to put into the job. I know I'm asking a lot of questions and you don't need to answer. I am VERY glad you and your wife are getting away for a few days - and please, please don't do any work for others on that trip. It is time to decide how to take care of yourself.

I and others here will be here to lean on.

As an afterthought I just wondered if it was the pain and sleep deprivation that was making you appear as if you were using - but one would think they would care enough to assess that in a thoughtful manner.

I will be thinking of you.

Hugs,

PaLady

I wish I could say this so shocking and because of the nature of your employment, they surely must have a better handle on this.  Nothing shocks me anymore.

Number one, "addiction" is a medical diagnosis not to be thrown around lightly.  Is anyone in this group qualified to may this type of diagnosis on observation alone.  It sounds like they are using situational behavior as a basis for their conclusion.  Do they have actual documentation?  Witnesses to this so called "stoned" behavior" willing to come forward?  Are they crediable and trained to make these statements?  Do they have access to your medical records?  If not, this is all water cooler hear say and mob mentality action.  These are serious charges.  What is stoned?  Two benedryl or other cold medications and I am half in the bag.  Any decongestant and I am falling over. 

 Where does it say in your employment contract that you can not be on medication approved by your physician.  Where does it say in your employment contract that they are also in control of  your wife's employment.

Have the ever drug tested you?  IF NOT, do you have a Judas in this group. Politics are politics no matter where you work.  Someone has uncovered a "potential" weakness in your armor and it trying to use it against you.

Can they provide a list of dates and times your were supposedly stoned?  Who witnessed and reported this action?  Was this person qualified to make this determination?  Was is reported at the time of the incident or remembered weeks later?  Were you drug tested?

If not, sounds like they have (excuse me) a sack of crap and someone out to get your position.  I always hate to do this but - get a pencil and paper and logically think of:

1.  who would benefit from your removal

2.  who have you crossed that might have a vendetta

3.  if they are in such financial straights, are you being used as the sacrificial lamb to cut costs or overhead.

Having dealt with human relations departments in the past, you can not dismissed someone for a psudo-medical diagnosis.  Someone is out to get you and now is the time to document the heck out of every odd conversation.  Remain cool and collect.  Discuss how to proceed with your attorney.  Until then, use caution with what you say around others.  You know what I am talking about......no headache so bad I could.... or I feel......  No personal comments only positive statements.

Good luck.

Keep us posted.

 

 

FJ> My heart goes out to you my brother!!! What a mess! I wish I had some good advice for you but I think I'll leave that to your lawers. The injustice that falls on us CP'ers is nothing new so whats happening to you doesn't suprise me. But after all you have done for the "program" one would think they would be grateful instead of bitter about your sacrifices for them???????
Is there one person behind all of this or is it a group of them? It sounds like someone has it in for you> Stoned at work??? Give me a break! I can't imagine the pain this must cause you after all you have done for your job! I know that $$$ is always an issue but maybe it's time to follow your buddy Pete's lead and "Get out of Dodge!!" This kind of thing will wear on you more than your physical problems will! I'm sure you will do whats best for you and getting legal on them is a good start! My prayers are with you John.
Pete
PS> Call anytime if you need to talk!

Fatherjohn,

Good grief, the abuse you endure and still forge forward amazes me!  How dare they question you, I just wonder if these people or person would jump out of bed to come to the aid of a student in need?  I think NOT!

Do what you need to do to protect yourself, document everything, might be good to flip on a recorder the next time the addict word is directed at you!

((((((((((((((((((Fatherjohn)))))))))))))))))

XXOO
Patti

FJ,

This does not surprise me as you have already been down this road at least once that I know of with them over this same scenario except the wife's job was not an issue then lol. I guess I missed it, but was your wife on their payroll too? I ask, because of their position on her taking a job. What difference does that make, its none of their business, as I understood you were their employee not her.

You know its almost like the higher ups are playing a very sadistic game with you. Every so often they like to come in and light a fire under you. In turn when they do this you just push yourself even more,  and they get you to prove to them one more time what more you are willing to sacrifice for them. Its a sick game. Its like they are determined to use you up and then eventually they will toss you aside. Thats called the corporate world. And its like a personal vendetta why would you want to stay there. Directors will come and go over the years there, that you know. There will always be another person for the young ones in the program to look up to, you are another number in the long list of employees.

You will not be young forever and soon your body will fail you because its worn out long before its time. Is that big corporate world worth that. Maybe its time you look at the price your family has paid for you to participate in this game. They have paid heavily.

You like the feeling that you are helping people and there are many, many ways out there to help people besides the drug & alcohol program you are working at. I am sure there are other  programs to work in. You will always have the higher ups breathing down your neck in the working world, but this is a sick place you are at now.

Maybe its time to do what Pete did. He is a much better off as a person for getting away from the hassle. Pete's tone in his posts is so much calmer thab what they use to be, it was all caused by someone else pulling his strings. But only you can decide how much you are willing to pay to play in the game.  I often wonder if a student isn't behind alot of this, they are the ones with you all the time.

FJ

I know that we've never really talked much directly, but I'm sorry to hear that this is being handled the way that it is. Please keep in mind that these statements about you are unfounded. You know that as well as we do. Keep your self respect in tact as it's what will keep you 'okay' as you go through this process. And I think you did the smart thing in consulting legal advice.

The advice that you were given to document everything is one of the best pieces of advice that I think you could have been given. I've been the hiring manager and the firing manager and as the one that had to write up terminations, I know that they will be 'documenting' as well. If they're worth their salt at all as management they'll be trying to document as many of these 'incidents' as possible. Personally, I hope that they're not well trained and they're failing to do their job to be able to get a termination, and to boot - I hope that they're failing at it well enough to be a liability.

Keep your head up, you know that you're doing what's right by you and by your students to the best of your abilities. And that's all that anyone can ever ask of you. You have gone above and beyond what's expected and you have been of service to many people. But now it's time to take care of you.

Go enjoy the days at the coast and please heed the advice to use the time to take care of yourself and figure out how you want to approach this. You've already given yourself to this organization, now it's time to give yourself some of the same dedication. If you don't take care of yourself during this, you're probably not going to have anything to give others later.

I wish you the best, and just try to have some faith that things will always work out in the end. We all know how hard it is to let things run their course the way that they need to.

FJ, I'm so sorry this has come up again. Everyone else has offered such fabulous words of wisdom , I can only echo them. I agree it sounds politically based. Someone wants your job, but how they can overlook your obvious committment and overtime put into your position, is beyond me.

Best of luck with that lawyer, I hate the politics and backstabbing that goes on with nearly every organisation I've been involved in. There always seems to be someone more interested in infighting than getting the job done. Power hungry, small minded, I don't know but you could do with out the stress! Best wishes, golitho

Thank you all for your comments. It will be hard to answer all the comments and questions but I will try and shed a little more light.

PAlady, there is something underneith the surface. I was hired by the a previous Corp. President and when he was not on good terms with the present Corp. President. I am a remenant of the previous leadership and thus I am not part of his team. He has brought his friends in to replace others he has fired. My work ethic makes it difficult to attack so he is looking for some reason. Yes, I have shown up to work after not sleeping as I have only used sick days when I was recovering from surgery. In all my sleepless nights, I have never failed to show up to work.

Laurie, yes I have invested and sacraficed much for this program. I would not change that. I have always lived by the idea that you chose your battles because you will wear out if everything you face is a battle to the end. This one I will fight. When In was injured as a lawenforcement officer the state told me I did not deserve benefits as I was not retired only disabled. I took them all the way to the Justice Department in Washington DC and won.

Stella, We are a faith based, non-medical model recovery services organization. There are no doctors, no licensed counselors etc so there is no one who can make a diagnosis of any kind. There is no proof of any kind. I have not been drug tested although I do test others on a regular basis. There is no clause in our policy manual that states a staff member cannot be on legally prescribed narcotics. In fact, our student manual allows me to give permission for students to be on narcotic medication in extreme circumstances. They have no authority to state where my wife can work, it is a power statement as he wants to have power over people. Sad

Jag, I am sorry, I was being sarcastic about stress not effecting CP. My wife can tell a difference in me right now due to the stress. I am glad that she is not having to watch me at work right now.  

Pete, I will give you a call later this week.

Jim, I came out of the world of adiction. I am very careful with medication. I have had doctors upset with me because I don't take the meds as often as I should. I don't like to play all the games. I am where I am because I care and want to help others get the chains of addiction unshakled. You are right.

Patti and Me, There is still work to be done so I will not be swayed from what I am doing. At this point, they will have to fire me to get me out. I won't go easily.

Susie, my wife was on my payroll not theirs. She came to work for me several years ago as she saw I was doing way to much. She is adjusting well to her new job and it has been good that we are not both under the same stress. Yes I have given thought to the cost I and the family have paid. Believe it or not, I have a classification after being injured 11 years ago as permanently and totally disabled. I wanted to go back to work after being injured but they refused to let me as I would have been a liability to the other officers. I was eligible to file for disability then but as I have proved, I could work. Now for other reasons, I am nolonger eligible for SSI or SSD. Long story. What else do I do at this point. I will have to look into that one seriously.

Dani, Piercings, CSTP, Golitho, Bill, As this is getting long, Thanks for your support. I will keep updating as things happen although I don't expect much right away.

Skeye, The real losers will be the students and I am not going to give up on them. There are many that would come to my defense. I know that there are also those that I have had to let go because they went back to using and their addiction. I have a feeling that there might be a complain that was aired at some time in the recent past but anyone that knows me I give more than enough chances. Regardless, I always document the reasons and I have been criticized by some for not sending people down the road sooner. i believe we have to give people every chance while still maintaining a standard.

Thanks all and I will not be in touch while away later this week. I hear the rain is coming in at the coast so I am looking forward to some long days by a fireplace, dozing and an occasional shopping trip with my wife and daughter.

   

Those are the same people that don't understand the difference between an alcoholic being "dry" versus "sober." They need to go hang out with the OA people for a while, so they can learn about really living in recovery, when abstinence isn't an option.

I think Frances had a terrific idea, my gawd man, with your connections out there, why in the world are you not considering your own school? You are their backbone and always have been. Sure something for you to chew on. The one thing that stood out in your post was their words to you, "stoned" and "high". Not exactly the words I would expect out of those air heads. This is why I am thinking in the direction of some punk kid trying to set you up.

Yes, I do believe it is in your wife's best interest to get out away from you with your mess and work in a different atmosphere.

I have heard this term used by employers over the years and its kind of fitting for you; "use them up till they have nothing left to give." That is kind of the situation you have put yourself in with them. Thats their hope. But, there again, no job is worth your life, your family or your health. When I left one place of employment after 18 yrs of being there, I could have kicked myself for not leaving sooner. I thought I couldn't leave, little did I know. It was the very best thing I could have done for myself and my family when I left there. Oh, believe me, they were shocked 18 yr employees are unheard of in offices. Its not good to take your job that personal trust me, I can assure you, you are not that important to them. There is always someone that can come along and pick up the pieces. It may not be done as you would have done it, but in the end it gets done.

With all your wonderful intentions, your family has paid a mighty high price for this work of yours. This thing quit being a job years ago, I cannot put it in the right words so I will not attempt it. Maybe FJ its time to listen to the family, they have stepped aside and taken the back seat and back burner for many years in order for you to do your thing. Maybe its their turn to do their thing with you under decent conditions.

Used up is not a term a person uses in a normal working environment. By chance does this organization put people out in the neighborhoods selling products to raise money?

Susie, I sent you an email answering your question. I am looking forward to some days away so I can think clearly. PAlady, it is difficult when you work in a residential program and are so close to the people you care about. This is not said in a way to justify anything. The lack of finances has caused me to be more involved than is reasonable as we are not able to hire the staff that is necessary. On one had that is my job but at the same time, if it rest solely on one person, it is dangerous. There is only so much time and energy one person can give and I know I am at that limit. I am sure that there is someplace for me besides where I am at now. This will be a good weekend to do some reflecting.