We Are Stronger Than We Think

We dream of and seek a change in the vicious cycle that seems to have no end. It's like going to the mailbox with the knowledge that we already know what will be there but we open it just hoping there will be a wonderful surprise, and yes we get the same bills that we knew were going to be there. Why did we go to the mail box anyway?

I say this to show you that we who have been selected by life to endure the lasting and cripling nature of Chronic Pain always hold out a ray of hope. Even if it be small. Even if it is not spoken of or acknowledged. We hold a small secured ray of hope that allows us to face yet another day. We think of ourselves as weak but this shows me that we are anchored with strength. It is not the strength that very often shows brightly on the outside but it is just as real. We might get up in the morning and we might even get up slowly but we still do it even though the chances of it being radically different from today is about as great as our chances of winning the lottery. Tell me that is not strength. Tell me that is not courage. Tell me that does not speak of perseverence.  

We might not accomplish massive undertakings but we still will get up and face it. Go ahead, when you get up tomorrow and look at the day and say, "I'm here and I am not going down easy." Look at your pain and say you did your best to take me out yesterday and you did not win. I am here again ready to face you and I plan to face you again tomorrow.   

Post Edited (fatherjohn) : 11/6/2009 11:34:06 PM (GMT-7)

Fatherjohn,

You've done it again...you have a way with words that really makes us think!  

Tina, its easy for us to be empathetic, caring, loving to others because thats our nature.  We are nurturers, caregivers and the people that others have come to depend on for words of wisdom, encouragement and LOVE.  In life that is the role we chose......so now along comes an illness, injury, accident or emotional trauma that causes us to be in need of the very things we have given to everyone in our path.  We don't fit that role very well, although, we profess to need it.  We beat ourselves up for not being able to conquer this thing this CP that has come to take away our control.  We start to question ourselves...why can't I beat this?  Whats wrong with me?  Why did this happen to me?  Our family and friends feel the same, they don't know how to handle US always the strong one, suddenly on our knees in a situation where we are in need!  These people we love with everything we have are suddenly in our roles (as caregiver), they aren't us so they don't know how to offer what we truly need!  They aren't like us they care but they don't know how to nurture, care or be empathetic with the intensity that we do.  We are our own worst enemies.....in my opinion we don't view ourselves as brave and courageous because we just do what we do because we are who we are!!!!!!!

Look at how we support each other here, we always have a word and a hug and lots of genuine love for each other....NO ONE unless they live in CP can truly grasp what we live each day and so we have each other to remind us how brave and courageous we are!!  AND WE CERTAINLY ARE!

Have you noticed that on the days you think you just can't make it through the day, you meet someone or hear of someone whose situation is much worse then yours?  It amazes me, it happens to me alot and it humbles me and I am grateful for who I am even in this situation.

Hope this makes sense, I think I lost the point I was trying to make but I'm going with it looking forward to more words of wisdom from my HW family!!

XXOO
Patti

     I'm crying. Thank you oh so very much. I needed this.

*huggs*

   dani

As I have read the posts, I see that I am not the only one that needs to be reminded that even though pain is a major part of our life, there is hope and we all need to be reminded of that. It is so easy to fall into life as normal which is less that we want. I determined I was going to do something I wanted to do today (making a nice dinner for my family) to enjoy living. To each of you that read this post, thank you for allowing me to share a word of encouragement to you. Have a blessed day and weekend.

Oh Susie,

I was knocked off my feet, after the fusion surgery I expected to be back to work and fixed in 6 weeks!  I had no idea what was to come!  I fought it, tried to be strong, put on a happy face and BAM I couldn't pretend anymore!  So I'm thinking that most if not all of us have had that moment.

I am sending lots of LOVE and BIG GIANT HUGS to all of my HW Family! 

((((((((((((((Fatherjohn, PALADY, Whitebeard, Straydog, Dani, Tina, Skeye, Gretchen, ALL))))))))))))))))

Fatherjohn, did you follow through on your day yesterday with no interruption from the workplace?

Just one more comment, regarding that we are the strong ones.....like PALady says everyone assumes we will make it through!  I can only speak for me but it is an inner battle for me as well, sometimes I just want to cry to someone with no judgements or advice, I want to feel the understanding, concern and love.  Most of my family is uncomfortable in this role because its me that is always there for them when they need exactly that!   Its a gift, sad to say that we are the ones that are dealt the toughest deck of cards throughout our lives!  You know the saying "we are never given more than we can handle".  Hard to believe isn't it??

XXOO

Patti

PAlady, Patti, Char Mom and others, I agree with you that we sometimes don't feel strong. We struggle and even come up way short of where we want to be. At times it seems like there is more than we can handle. Its not that we can't find the light at the end of the tunnel, we can't even find the tunnel. There are days we don't want to even get out of bed and other times we don't want to go to bed. There are some days that life stinks. There have been days that we did not think we would live and then days when we were afraid we would. We have all had what we feel is our share of those days, maybe even a little more than our share, but if we look back, we made it. We might not have looked very good or felt good but we did make it. When we are in one of those tough days, it is good to know we have made it in the past and even more wonderful to have others around us (HW Family) that can enourage us and even cry with us a we inch our way through. Anyway, have a blessed day.