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Update (Part 1)

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Chronic Pain
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Posted 8/13/2011 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all,

This is my positive thread - and really all I have energy for right now.  Later, I want to share the negative side to going to the hospital for ANY reason - w/ chronic pain - and the things that can happen. But I'll save that for when I get a little more energy :)

As Michael shared, I've been going downhill over the last few weeks, but especially over the last week.  I was having problems finding the strength/energy to do ANYTHING. 

In all honesty, since having the girls - I haven't done all the things I've needed to do for me.  I've done the bare minimum just to get by.  I know now I have to put myself first and make sure I do the things I need to do.  Kind of the same analogy of the plane is crashing and the parent should put on their O2 mask first.  I can't do for the kids if I'm too sick to function.

Anyway, I'll save all the boring details... other than to say - I had another blood transfusion.  "Normal" hemoglobin should be between 12 to 15.  Mine was 7.  It is now 9.  I go at the end of the week for more blood work - and they *think* it should be the same or higher. 

I guess I went in w/ too many expectations... I didn't think I'd be ready to go dancing (ha - like that will ever happen! tongue )... but I'm still very weak and not feeling great.  There's a whole lot more to the story - but, again, it's all just boring details....

For now, I'm going to rest.  As much as possible.  See my cardio this week.  Get blood work at week's end.  And pray I feel better.  I need strength and energy. 

Thank you all again for thinking of me.... the posts here on the board and the e-mails sent..... I appreciate it all.  You are such wonderful people and I consider you all my very dear friends.  And thanks again, Michael, for posting and updating..... very, very appreciated :)

I'll do my Chronic Pain vent later, when I have more energy :)  For now, though, I'm off to rest.  Many hugs.... --Tina

 

Posted 8/13/2011 7:18 PM (GMT 0)
Tina....so glad to hear from you! I am so sorry to hear of all the troubles you are going through...and I am still praying for you and your family...I said in the other thread that I really hope that your church can rally around you all and help out with the kids, the shopping, cleaning, meals...etc. Anything that you need so you can get some needed rest.

Don't worry about trying to post right now..just relax...hopefully stay snuggled in bed as much as you can with good books or movies to watch..

Sending you big hugs (( ))
Posted 8/13/2011 7:48 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tina. I have been so worried about you. I'm glad that you're a bit better, and I will keep praying that you continue to heal. I've been thinking about you, and I have missed reading your posts.

Sending massive hugs,

Flower:)
Posted 8/13/2011 9:41 PM (GMT 0)
Tina, glad you are home with your family and improved a little. Get plenty of rest, we are all thinking of you!
Posted 8/14/2011 2:38 AM (GMT 0)
Glad to hear from you Tina. Look after yourself best you can. Rest, heal, and know that we are thinking of you *gentle hugs*

Laura
Posted 8/14/2011 6:43 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks all.... it's hard to rest when there's so much involved in my life... but I know it's that or the hospital.

Snowbunny - our church is awesome and has done so much for us, and continue to do things.  As you know - though, when you have a chronic long-term illness - it changes things up a bit.  You sort of "learn" to get through the crisis moments better and not to call in the army - unless you really, really need it.  For instance, when I was on bed rest w/ the girls, I did really, really need it - and they brought us meals every night for MONTHS.  That kind of thing.

I have people that take and do things w/ the boys - and that's a help.  We had a wonderful friend drop off a gift card to Subway yesterday - just to make things easier - that kind of thing.

You really learn how many wonderful people there are in the world! 

Lastly - and our life is still very, very full and demanding - but our older kids are 16, 15, 13.... so they are pretty self-sufficient.  Our older one drives and that's a HUGE help.  So, it's not as bad as it could be.

Thanks again all.  I'm going nuts being down.... but I'm trying.  --Tina

Posted 8/15/2011 2:53 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tina. It's good to see you back. You rest up and maybe those blood counts will go up some more.. I wanted to send you an email. but I didn't know what to do. I have been beside myself worried about you.

Did Michael tell you that I said hi and that I was praying for you? Actually I never stopped. You take care and be careful and not do too much.

love ya my friend

hugs
Loretta




















d
Posted 8/15/2011 8:07 AM (GMT 0)
Loretta....

You can always e-mail me.... it just sometimes takes me a few days to return e-mails tongue Not always....just sometimes.

Yes, Michael passed along your thoughts and prayers. Thank you so much. I firmly KNOW that I make it through all the things I do because I have wonderful people in my life that pray for me and pull me through the hard times. You've heard me say it before - I couldn't do it w/out that faith. Thanks, hon, though for always thinking of me and praying for me.

I know you are battling w/ your own pain issues and all.... and I hope you are taking care of yourself, my friend.

Many hugs, Tina
Posted 8/15/2011 12:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,

I know I haven't logged on in a very long time, but I lurk every once in a while. I saw some of what is going on with you and I wanted to say that I am sorry you are facing such difficulty right now. You will get better. I know you will.

I honestly believe these babies are a blessing that we don't yet fully understand. There is something wonderful and amazing about them and about you being their mother. Yes, you are going through many, many trials and tribulations, but you are an amazing person yourself and you can do it.

I will keep you in my prayers and see the sunshine ahead for you (or rain if you are parched like we are here). Either way, the sun will warm you face and the water will wash away the pain. You, my friend, can do this. You are a spectacular person with a will of iron and a heart of glass. You can see how special you are from reading your posts.

Blessings to you and your family!
Posted 8/16/2011 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
Tina,so glad your are back! I prayed for you all weekend.Today I noticed a post from you and I instantly smiled! Happy your home ,takecare from michele
Posted 8/16/2011 6:40 AM (GMT 0)
RM -

SOOOO good to hear from you! I've thought about you several times over the months. But I know how life is - and I figured you were just dealing w/ your family, your pain issues and, well, just life! But, it's so good to hear from you.

Thank you so much for your kind words..... they brought tears to my eyes, really. Sometimes, you just need to hear the "right" words to keep you going.... and you were that for me today - so thank you.

Yes, the girls ARE such a blessing. There is not a day that goes by that I don't stare at the two of them and am still amazed at how they entered our lives.... the joy they give.... all that sappy stuff! I love all my kids so much - and they are the reason that I push through all this crud each day.

Thank you for the continued prayers! And please keep coming back as you can.... because it was really, really good to hear from you. You were very missed. Thanks again for supporting me, RM!

Hugs, Tina
Posted 8/16/2011 6:47 AM (GMT 0)
Michele....

Thank you so much for your post! I so appreciate the thoughts and prayers.... and your kind words. They mean more than I can say. Yes, I'm so glad to be home. I've spent so much time hospitalized in my life - that I can honestly say it's torture to be away from my family. But I made it through and it made me appreciate my own bed even more :)

Thanks again for the prayers - and I hope you are doing ok, too.

Many hugs - Tina
Posted 8/17/2011 1:54 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tina, so glad you are doing a little better, this lets you know the power of prayer.  I am glad you are on the mend and will be happier when you are feeling much, much better.

I have been dealing with some personal problems, which while stressfull, made me concentrate on something other than my pain.  Although I dont recommend this as a treatment, its is fleeting at best.

Stay strong girl, I right there with you.

Kathy

Posted 8/20/2011 3:05 AM (GMT 0)
Tina, I do hope you are starting to feel a little better. You know, you really are a truly a strong lady, you just have so much on your plate. I sometimes wonder how you do it, but you know when we get to that point, somehow we manage to squeak through it.

Please take care of yourself, yes you are missed here but, we want you feeling lots better.

Take care gal.
Posted 8/21/2011 4:44 AM (GMT 0)
Susie (and others),

Thanks. It's just encouragement like this that gets me through the hard times. I have many people say "How do you do it all?".... the answer is "I don't know". I tried to live up to the "Supermom" thing - and it took me years to realize that it doesn't exist. Once I loosened up some and realized that - I was soooo much happier letting go (a lot of this stemmed from childhood and my need for perfectionism.... not a good thing.... but that's another story).

Now, I just take each day as it comes. I tried to be happy when we've made it through a "good" day.... where I've loved on my kids.... talked (really talked) to each of them..... fed everyone..... picked up the house and thrown in a few loads of laundry.... and gotten everyone where they needed to go. That's a "great" day in our house!! Now, that doesn't always happen and we have bumps in the road. But I try to find happiness w/ the simple things.

But I do need to start taking better care of ME.... it's time or I'm going to start sinking, I can feel it. So thanks for the encouragement. And for caring. Like I said, it's enough to keep me going on those hard days.

Love, Tina
Posted 8/21/2011 4:59 AM (GMT 0)
Tina so very good to hear from you. Yes, Super Mom only exists in the cartoons, lol. You know when you stop and think about her she would have to be a true non-existent being because no real soul could ever keep up with her even if they did not have any problems what so ever, lol.

Oh that evil word perfectionist, that one will get a person every single time and not in a very nice way either, I might add. Been there and done that, now that is one that really is a killer in its own way. Some of the things we can put ourselves through and the entire time thinking we are doing the very best thing for us. The bad side to this is I see some of this in my kids and I try to tell them to forget about that, its so not worth it.

I feel quite certain knowing you even on your bad days, your family knows you are right there behind them giving 500% and then some, thats just you.

So, now that you have decided its time to start taking better care of you stay with it, its really hard to think about us, but you know you have to take care of you first so that you can take care of the others.

You hang in there, this is one of those things I told you we some how squeak by with and then sit back and say how did I do that, lol. Hugs and take care.
Posted 8/21/2011 5:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tina I'm happy to hear that you decided to take care of U. If you don't, you won't be able to take care of the others. I know, you've heard that a million times, but I just care and want you to feel as good as is possible.

Take care. I'll be praying that your bloodwork improves and keeps improving.

love and hugs
Loretta
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