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Help - I'm in severe pain, and my family doc says I'm an addict

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Chronic Pain
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Posted 7/26/2013 9:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hello everyone.  I'm sorry that I don't get a chance to post often. I am working many hours, and I've had a lot of extreme stress in my life.

I am now crying as a result of a visit with a very callous and rude family doctor.  I have stage IV endometriosios, and I've had eight surgeries so far.  I'm getting a hysterectomy in the fall because the pain is too severe.  My period (sorry guys if this grosses you out1) is now 7 days late, making the pain even worse.  I have a script for Lortab, but it doesn't work at all.  I saw a pain specialist a couple times, and both places recommended I switch to Percocet when my pain is at its worst - during my periods.  I also deal with bad GI problems from the endometriosis, and in the surgery that's in the fall, they're going to do several bowel resections.  As a result of the bowel endometriosis, I have chronic and severe diarrhea that is only controlled by Lomotil.

My GYN was prescribing my meds, but she went out on maternity leave and her associates won't help me out.  So, I had to go see this older family doctor (he's in his late 70s.)  Before, he has always talked down to me, and today was no exception.  He told me that I was a "Drug Addict" and that women with endometriosis don't have pain.  He also told me that GI problems are never due to endometriosis, and instead, I'm addicted to the med I take for that.  He acted like a mean and big bully.  And it really hurt that he called me an addict because I've been battling this severe condition for a long time.  He rushed to judgment too fast. 

I don't know what to do.  The ER is not an option.  I went there this past February because I was out of all of my meds after my previous family doctor abandoned me after I couldn't pay off his huge bill. (I make min. wage, and we're struggling financially.)  This left me without my meds, and I got sick fast.  I got rapidly dehydrated, and I then had a seizure in the ER.  The doctor said it was probably due to the electrolytes being out of balance.  Also, I take Valium and had come off it too fast.  (Even today, I had to ask the famly doctor to give me another script for Valium, and he refused saying I was a drug addict.)  I'm just so, so, so hurt and in a ton of pain.

I go to a pain clinic in mid-September, and I see a GYN at the same facility the same month.  So I just need to make it until then. 

Anybody have any feedback on how I can get it through this doctor's thick skull why I need the meds? I'd love to go elsewhere but they require me to pay their old outstanding balances before they'll see me.  It's a mess.  By the way, I remember seeing a letter once on the internet that addressed people and their family and doctors about with invisible illnesses.  Does anyone remember it or know where I can find it?

Thanks for letting me vent.  Time to curl up in my ball on the sofa with my dog.

I appreciate it, everyone.

Posted 7/26/2013 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
Can you go to the pain clinic earlier ? Maybe if you call and explain that your OB is out on maternity leave they can work you in.

Frankly, I don't believe there is anything you can do to change your family doctors attitude or mind. I have known quite a few family practice doctors through the yrs. Some treat their patients as the individuals they are, while others treat them the same when it comes to these meds. Doctors his age, have seen the pendulum swing both ways, more than once, in regards to these meds. If after all his yrs of practice he took the "drug addict tone" as I call it with you, he won't be changing.

Post Edited (Mercy&Grace) : 7/26/2013 3:35:36 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/26/2013 10:47 PM (GMT 0)
Be very very careful. Because when you go ANYWHERE...including this pain clinic and new gyn...they're going to request all your medical records from all your previous treating physicians including the family doc. So if he's put any notations in your chart or made any remarks or anything...the new docs will see that and it may affect how they see you.

So honestly...I would leave this family doc alone. I agree with Mercy...he's set in his ways, he's formed his opinions (regardless of whether they're right or wrong) and nothing you can say or do is likely to change it. At this point you should probably just leave him be as much as it sucks.

Can you talk to that "someone else" and work out a payment plan or a payment agreement so that they'll see you without having to pay the whole bill off first? Also.. calling the pain clinic to stress that you're in a tight spot is a good idea, even if they cant squeeze you in right away maybe there will be a cancellation spot you can get into.

Why won't the associates of your gyn help you out? Usually when docs go on a long vacation or leave they make alternate arrangements, especially for those patients who are on pain medications. Can you get a message to your doc even though shes on leave? Maybe she can get someone else in the practice to write you the scripts. When my doc is on vacation, I get scripts from one of the other providers in the practice...even though I'm not one of their patients.

Otherwise you'll just have to hang on till sept. I don't see any way around it if none of the above works.
Posted 7/27/2013 12:42 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry to read how terrible you were treated. I find that unprofessional and totally unacceptable. But realize you only have "x" amount of rescoures and options to work with. Do you have the option to change Family Doctor's? Only speaking for myself, I wouldn't tolerate a doctor that treated me in such a condescending and disrespectful manner. It certainly didn't help your situation, and only made you feel worse and sad. No need for that.

Hope things improve for you, good luck, and never give up hope.

david
Posted 7/27/2013 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
Oh My! I'm so sorry... And I can assure him that women with endometriosis suffer very much so with pain. What a jerky thing to say. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. How many laprascopic surgeries have you had? It took three before they could classify what stage I had... I'm stage 3. I can't imagine someone dismissing someone with stage four. Please hang in there.

Have you looked up pelvic pain specialists in your area? I have seen one for quite some time and he's originally who helped me with pain control. And he was also very familiar with the desease.

Good luck to you. I'm so sorry you are suffering. If you have any questions or need someone who's "been there", so to speak.... Just shoot me an email or write me on here. Please keep your head up!

And I hate to tell you this but having a hysterectomy doesn't always relieve your pain... Especially if its already in your bowel. :-( I hate to be the bearer of bad news, I just wish someone had told me before I had my surgery.

Hugs to you
Posted 7/27/2013 2:32 AM (GMT 0)
Insane comments.. Dr is not only rude but ignorant.

Speaking just from my own personal experience .. endometriosis pain was incredible !! I do not know how you continue to function.. eventually, the 3rd opinion was aware of the condition & operated ASAP though I had to take a long bus ride to go to his office as my family did not think I had anything seriously wrong with me, cried the entire ride but was worth it.

For me, surgery DID eliminate my pain, so maybe you could have surgery sooner or later?? Possibly you could then get pain meds from the surgeon?

God bless
Posted 7/27/2013 2:41 AM (GMT 0)
I am 44 and at 21 was diagnosed with Endometriosis. That was diagnosed not how long I had dealt with it. When I turned 40 I had a total hysterectomy and have never felt better in my life. I felt like a wimp all curled up in bed crying in pain. I finally put my foot down and made the decision to have it done. I'm sorry the doctor was a jerk. I hope you get something figured out. This is nothing you should have to deal with. Stress just causes more pain.

Good Luck
Lisa
Posted 7/27/2013 6:09 AM (GMT 0)
Nurse Lisa, my wife, Nurse Peggy, had a similar experience as you did, suffering from the pains associated with Endometriosis at age 18 or 19 (can't remember), and when she finally had her total hysterectomy at around age 42, it made a huge change for the better for her too. Interesting subject. I remember reading years ago, that there was a time when male doctors tried to convince women that even menstrual pain was all in their head. Really dumb thinking looking back in time.

david
Posted 7/27/2013 6:40 AM (GMT 0)
luvdogs. I hope you didn't pay him for his cruel remarks. Maybe he needs to reminded that he works for you, as you are paying him, ( you have hired him as a doctor to treat you and help you) Not to insult you! If he really does think your and addict, did he refer you to a treatment center? Or possibly to another doctor that treats patients with addictions? Or did he just call you an addict and refused to help you or do anything for you? See what I am getting at is when you go to a doctor your hiring them for their medical expertise, ( it's a contract of sorts) your paying them a fee for their medical services to help you, hopefully diagnose and cure you, and also make you feel better. Calling you an addict and sending you on you way without doing anything else to is not up holding his part of his contract with you. Doctors are no better than a plumber or a auto mechanic, if you hired one of them would you expect any one of them to treat you the way that doctor did? I would think not! Doctors are not Gods! they are just individuals that you hire to perform a service! Just like you would a plumber or mechanic. You hire them you can fire them!

Just my two cents about this subject! It just irritates me something fierce when I hear about doctors that treat their patient the way you were treated!

I do wish you well!

White Beard
Posted 7/27/2013 6:44 AM (GMT 0)
Fully agree with you, White Beard, very well said. As I have often said at HW, our doctors work for us, not the other way around. And they are not gods, though some definitely have serious egomaniac issues to deal with. I would have no problem dismissing any doctor that treated me that way, even once, let alone on a regular basis.

david
Posted 7/27/2013 6:59 AM (GMT 0)
Sorry LD that your having such a horrible time. Many of us have encountered one of those Drs in our journey.

At his age and probably close to 40 years of practicing medicine nothing we can tell you to say is going to change his attitude. He comes from the old days of only cancer patients require strong meds and yes any narcotics to him are strong.

Your talking about the letter to family &friends my dependance versus addiction and I'm sure its here somewhere so you could try the search option or even Google as its widely known to the CP world.

Your records will follow you and he probably documented far worse then he said to you.

Hospitals and ER's have to treat you no matter what you owe them, if they accept one dime of federal money for indigent care and you can rest assured that only the most exclusive private hospitals can run these days without applying for that money.

We are constantly urging people that have no insurance or medical coverage to seek out the closest Medical School affiliated hospitals, teaching hospitals base Dee's on ability to pay but better then that they can provide the most innovative and comprehensive care. In other words this is the place where about 90% of all meds,new tests,procedures and surgeries get started. These facilities hold the brilliant minds of researchers and if your a difficult diagnosis or a multiple diagnosis this is where you can find the answers.

Good luckily
Posted 7/28/2013 4:14 PM (GMT 0)
I just want to thank everyone that replied. Truly, it has meant a lot. As with almost any situation, there are a lot of dynamics involved. I totally agree with everyone that I need to leave this horrible doctor forever. He has no right to judge or label me. What really, really gets to me is that I didn't have enough money on my credit card for his payment when I got there. They refused to see me, despite my promise I'd pay it. So, I had to call a friend that's a lawyer, and she called in her credit card number to them.

Today my pain is worse than it was on the day I saw that doctor. My mother said she will take me to the ER, but I work there and know better. I'm going to write to a very trusted GYN that's now out of state and not available to take care of me. She's associated with a very respected institution, and she has advocated for me for several months. I'm going to ask her about approaching my GYN's associates. Essentially, my GYN in town talked to this trusted GYN back in Feb, and she then agreed to take over prescribing the medications. Back in June, my GYN told me to come in for an appointment, and at that time, she told me she really wanted to see me because she was going out on maternity leave and she knew her associates wouldn't help me. This practice of GYNs hardly ever prescribes medications. Patients are lucky to get a ibuprofen prescription. So, even though my doctor put refills on my meds and gave it to the nurse right away to send to Caremark, something happened, and those refills were never sent. Then her colleagues refused to send them after she left on maternity leave. My best guess is that my GYN's nurse held onto the Caremark form until my GYN left and then showed it to her associates.

I called the other pain clinic on Friday, and they said that the Sept. appointment is the soonest. And I tried to get in with the other family practice groups, but the rule is that you have to pay the back balance in full. Today, my Mom and I don't have any money for food or gas. So there's no way we can pay over a thousand dollars so I can see a doctor.

Thanks again. I want to write more but I hurt so bad that I'm going to lie back down. I will write more later, as I know I left some questions unanswered. Again, please know how much I appreciate each and every one of you.
Posted 7/29/2013 1:34 AM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry you are suffering so much. Have you sought out the university hospital? They usually have programs for cash patients with huge discounts.

Please hang in there... I know first hand how bad endo pain is, I suffer constantly. My surgery did help but it has not eliminated all my pain and I spend a lot of time laying in the fetal position in bed. I wish I knew a magic cure to make you feel better. I truly empathize with you.

I hope you get some answers soon.
Posted 7/30/2013 2:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hi I just wanted to stop in and tell you how sorry I am that your doctor is not well school in chronic pain. Sending positive vibes your way and hoping you find relief soon.

Sally
Posted 7/30/2013 4:42 AM (GMT 0)
I agree that your family doc was out of line with his remarks regarding your pain. There was a time, not long ago, when "female pain" was considered to be emotional or hysteria. Your doc sounds like he subscribes to those old theories.

Changing docs isn't easy. I hope you are able to get some help soon. Take care of yourself. Sometimes a heating pad works (I've gone through too many to count).

I wish you the best with your pain issues.
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