Posted 7/19/2014 10:04 AM (GMT 0)
It's been 5 weeks since my 360 anterior posterior 2 level spinal fusion. This was my 2nd back surgery. Laminectomy was 5 years ago. Severe pain 6 years now. Prior to this surgery pain was worse in hips and buttocks. Surgeon said he could relieve pain by 70%. Well, obviously, he was wrong. The exact hip pain has returned full force. The buttock pain is back too, only slightly better than before. I sure wasn't expecting the pain to come back, especially this soon. It is very discouraging. I'm so sick and tired of hurting every second of every day. The surgical pain is much better. Still having problems w my stomach. I went to the dr this week, and the CT showed the large knot to be scar tissue. Who would think scar tissue would hurt that bad. The major pain is in both hips. Each step makes me want to cuss, cry or both. I want to heal. I want to recover. I want my hips to stop hurting. This is unbearable to me. I'm sick of it. And I simply don't understand why this has come back. I don't know if it's here to stay or will get better in time.
I did see a psychologist yesterday who specializes in chronic pain. It was a great appt. he was kind, knowledgable and gave me several print outs, and some suggestions on books. My neighbor actually had one on the list he gave me: The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I will probably start that one today. I also took my daughter to the library to see a play yesterday, and checked out several other books. I know I am depressed. I know I have a bad and negative attitude.and I know the mind and body work hand in hand. So...I want to gain the knowledge to change this. I don't want to be this way anymore. It isn't fair to me or my children. I want to heal so I can hopefully get back to work.
My first PT appt is this Thursday. Hoping to see results from that. He also said it's ok to resume walking. That was put on hold until the CT results came back for the knot in my stomach. And I will continue w the counseling. I do need help retraining my brain and way of thinking. That is a lot easier said than done.
I'm scared. I don't understand why the original pain came back. Just can't grasp that one. I know I can't return to work and be on my feet 8 hrs nursing like this. That is my struggle. And that is what I need to delete from my brain!!! It's too much.
Anyway, just an update. I've been up all night. Took a late afternoon nap, woke up at 10:15 and can't sleep. A neighbor is having a garage sale in a couple hours. Think I will take a shower, price some things, and see how that goes. I'm horrible about last minute stuff. I've known about this over a week. I did get the things out, just didn't price anything. Ok, I'm rambling and need to hush. As always, thank you for listening to my vent. I will work on making them MUCH shorter.