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Posted 8/11/2014 11:34 PM (GMT 0)
TOP TEN WORST SUGGESTIONS or COMMENTS GIVEN TO SOMEONE WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS..


1) Are u sure it's not all in UR head?

2) You should try to meditate.

3) The doctor always finds something wrong. Stop running to the doctor and just grit your teeth.

4) You need to get out more. Come shopping with me. shocked
Posted 8/11/2014 11:35 PM (GMT 0)
5). GET A HOBBY !
Posted 8/12/2014 12:51 PM (GMT 0)
6. You make a good case study.

7. You look to young for all this...
Posted 8/12/2014 12:54 PM (GMT 0)
After having neck fusion surgery, another fusion surgery coming and 200+ neck injections.

1. Pharmacist - "You should be taking anti-inflammatory".  Me - "I get that injected in my neck with a large needle every month, its great fun."

2. Pharmacist (same as above) - "You should take Excedrin Migraine for you headaches".  Me - "I've been taking that 20 years, I wouldn't be here if it worked."

3. Neck Surgeon - "We are sorry you got MERSA during your neck surgery, we will be more cautious in the future."

I don't go to this pharmacy any more.  He knew nothing about my case so I don't like people that think they know everything about something they have no clue about.

Posted 8/12/2014 1:31 PM (GMT 0)
jpjr50...

WOW THAT IS REALLY TWISTED. U have been thru a would of pain, disappointment and negligence. Breaks my heart to read it all. So much suffering and some uncalled for and contrary to most is common in today's medical industry.

So sorry u went thru all that. One thing leads to another and not necessarily in a good way. It just stacks up. I hope u r in a better place. I went thru a similar circumstance. Stay strong.

TC&GB :-)
Posted 8/12/2014 2:08 PM (GMT 0)
1. "You know my friend/sister/neighbor had the same thing and they were better in a week."

Well, aren't they blessed.

2. "You STILL hurt?"

No Doc, I just really miss your charming manner. And of course getting my hands on the nifty sandpaper tissues.

3. "Everyone hurts, just suck it up."

So, when will it be YOUR turn?

4. Internal dark voices

5. "We didn't think you would want to go on the trip/to the birthday party/to a movie since you haven't been feeling well."

How sweet of you to exclude me from the grandbabies 6th birthday party. No worries, there will be another one. ;-(
Posted 8/12/2014 7:55 PM (GMT 0)
Daesin, I totally understand being left out, Back in July all my brothers (3) got together and went to Hawaii, never once asked me...it had been planned out over this past year, it really, really hurts when it's the family members doing this to you. Sorry your family is doing this to you...
Posted 8/12/2014 10:17 PM (GMT 0)
Chart I can definitely relate to all this! about ten or so years ago (maybe longer???)  when I was still married, My then wifes parents were  having a 60th anniversary party down in Florida, I found out about it, when my then wife told me the day or so before they left, that she and her brother and his wife and her parents were all flying down there for a big anniversary party with her other family members that live there.  I was not invited nor was even made aware of the party till  then! Not given any excuse right then, as she was to busy packing!   Anyway a week later when they all came back, I was told the reason I was not invited was because they didn't think I would be able to fly down there with my back the way it was!

I definitely empathize with you Chart! Hurt would be an understatement wouldn't you say?!!!! For me, during that week when  she  or her family would call me from Florida I would not answer the phone nor talk to them! ( I was hurt and I was definitely angery!!) I didn't  believe their excuse for not inviting me then! Nor do I believe it now today!!????  I personally think, and I feel this applies  especially to family members and close friends, that they can use your own pain as an excuse, for allot of things!!  Just because we can't do the things that they can, does that mean they should use  our pain  as an excuse to not  included us????  Just my personal opinion of course!!!

White Beard

Post Edited (White Beard) : 8/12/2014 4:33:25 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/12/2014 10:56 PM (GMT 0)
Being left out of family activities when UR in so much pain & depressed cuz we didn't want to cause you any more pain. redface shakehead cry cry cry shocked
Posted 8/12/2014 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
My worst response:
I went to see a neurosurgeon about my sciatica after having surgery to see if he could do anything about it and at the time I had a broken leg in a cast (but I was still thin and fit) and he asked me if I had tried running to relieve my pain! I am like, really? You think if I could run I would be wasting my time here?
Posted 8/13/2014 12:52 AM (GMT 0)
Taller: Run right back out of his office...oh my gosh! It makes you SOOO confident in their diagnostic abilities when they don't notice a leg cast.
So sorry about that.

White Beard: I absolutely get the whole not answer the phone thing.

Why do we become 'non persons' to our own family. I can somewhat understand the whole Medical field not wanting to admit we exist...after all we are their failures. But when you share a life with someone it should not be so -- easy to forget us.

I think maybe we scare people.
1. We expose their weaknesses. We show them what *could* happen to them. Most folks don't handle uncomfortable situations very well anyhow -- avoid avoid avoid! But when they must face us its too much. Psychologists call it cognitive dissonance.
2. Some just cant handle seeing the pain and feeling useless to help. I know I am wiped out just from sitting in the waiting room and seeing/feeling the pain around me. Its almost palpable.


Daesin
Posted 8/21/2014 3:06 PM (GMT 0)
"Your wife needs shower, no?!"
This said to my husband on day two in hospital following ACDF C4-C7 discectomy. A nurses assistant, wearing rubber gloves had her hand down the back of my underwear, tugging it, under my gown and was holding fresh towels and soap up to us.

I felt like I was 4 years old again!

The surgeons PA had stopped by to check on me and give me going-home instructions AS this crazy assistant nurse was trying to haul me into the bathroom by my undies. Sheesh.

DH and I laugh about it now

Oops I think I'm OT, I see now it's top 10 for pain!
Posted 8/21/2014 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
 

 "Have you tried Aleve."

 "You got to get up get moving.You'll feel better."

Posted 8/21/2014 9:22 PM (GMT 0)
This thread is a hoot!

Good Lord, I think I've heard virtually every single one of these. They never, ever get any easier to bear. And the people popping these gems out are real winners with no idea of what they're saying or to whom they are speaking.

D'oh.

I went to a surgical consult several weeks ago where a doc (different area of specialty) said he gets a back ache ever once in a while too, and he just takes an Aleve every now and again. (Good for you).

It's frustrating to hear "Get out more"...."Well so & so has the same dx and seems just fine"....

I just want to scream.












M.
Posted 8/23/2014 6:56 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so glad others go through this and it's not just me. I think I have heard them all but here are my favourites:

1. You had surgery so you are all fixed now and can't be in pain like that.
2. Oh wow you are taking more drugs? (when taking a claritin for allergies or magnesium or vitamin C etc.)
3. My back hurts sometimes and I just take ibuprofen and it works.
Oh really, well let me stick needles in your eyes and then you can take an ibuprofen because it will work.
4. You should be more active and get out more and do things.
Oh no, I love staying at home unable to stand for more than five minutes without excruciating pain, it gives me character!
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