Sex - sensitive topic

I had to look up the definition of sex because I totally forgot what it meant lol. On a serious note though I know that for me with the pain meds, there seems to be a definite lack of desire. Now that I have cut down on them and will be continuing to wean off of them I am hoping that the spark comes back. I know we can go months without any bedroom fun and that's just not cool.

I'm sure my husband resents this at times even though he says he understands because of the pain and the meds etc. I don't want to be one of those couples that just stay together without any romance. If I was 80 then I could understand it but not at this age. To answer the other part of just going through the motions to satisfy my partner, yep have done that before also. It's very hard to get into the mood when everything hurts and you are depressed and other things in life are just going wrong.

Okay I'm rambling again but I'm also interested in what others have to say about this topic.

Five kids, poplargrove....it seems like u did have a good sex life at one point in time. But it is also alot of work..I know I have 4. It's hard to find the time and energy at the end of the day. We are still fairy young, but I am falling apart So we can go a week without any action, but it's such a great way to connect and still feeling wanted, which makes the marriage stronger. There is definitely stuff I can't do now with my hip the way it is..and in 2 weeks I have surgery after that none till 4-6 weeks.. that going to be rough. Poplargrove...you and your hubby need to get away. I assume your children are grown now. Even if it is just to a nice restaurant. Get that spark going again...Good luck to ya. And no the meds do not affect my sex drive at all, but I do sometimes do it when I don't want to...I end up wanting to after all. We r very careful of my hip and if it hurts he will know.

Well I had 6 kids so obviously wasn't asexual my entire life! My marriage was pretty well doomed from the start of my CP since it began 3 months after my last child was born early from a placenta abruption by emergency c-section. Having been married 4 times and divorced 3,widowed once certainly means I must not be an expert on anything more then the reproduction part of the equation.

I do know the most prevalent denominator is the nature of our meds. Opiates definitely leave one's desire for intimacy sadly lacking and we have seen more then a few pass through here looking to get off their meds just to try to save a new marriage or relationship. I have always been of the mind that illnesses and disease causing pain didn't have to destroy intimacy in your life so long as you and your partners have good communication skills, are open minded and willing to think outside the box.

Sexual intercourse doesn't have to create nothing but pain therefore causing the CPer to shy away from it if you both can talk freely and step outside that box to come up with alternative means of being intimate with each other.

It's important to not let that communication gap become a ditch that can't be crossed and the wider it gets and longer it is there the less chance there is of ever closing it. There should not be any subject too embarrassing or uncomfortable for a couple in a relationship to talk about. If its difficult to initiate the more you talk the easier it will become.

Working in the Domestic Violence shelter I learned that half of those situationswere due to the iinability to talk. Women would say they couldn't talkabout sex wwith their partners? You can preform the act, have him help through labor and delivery but not talk about the greatest basic human nature of reproduction?

The mental and emotional desire is still there. The physical is less since this started which is a complete 180 for me. Its odd as a woman to have had the drive of a 13 year old boy who just discovered how things "work" for the last near 9 years of my marriage to almost absolute zero. I still try but at this point I think my husband sort of looks at me like a porcelain doll since physical exertion can send me into a tail spin. Like I said, I try, I want to, but even the "being there" is a fraction of what it was. Nerve issues are a (fill in the blank).

I have Advanced Prostate Cancer, mCRPC, which makes sex totally out of the question. We have been celibate for almost 8 years out of our 24 year marriage. I will have to say that we had a nice and equally enjoyable sex life before the Cancer struck and we have great memories of the intimacies. However, it was never the be all or end all of our way close relationship. My wife was on the road to being a disabled CPP when we met so I knew that one day this would probably happen. Little did I know that it would be me that would give out first.

We are so close in our temperaments that we really don't miss the sex, a good 15 minute cuddle session makes up for it just fine. On the PC forum there are many stories like mine, it is upsetting to read that men are leaving their wives due to CP. I guess that most of us are more likely to be jerks, huh? . . . Q