Why I do what I do here at HW

Hardly a day passes that there isn't a post about how and why we keep going and rarely a week that someone doesn't ask why I spend time here at HW or stay up all night feeding orphaned kittens or squirrels, spend endless hours a week listening to older folk's then I rattle on about their lives and memories and hear maybe half of what they say and that's truly my loss!!

I'm going to tell you that shortly but first I want to say that sometimes I am hard and pushy on some of you younger, newer CPers and its all in the essence of good intention. This life takes it toll on every aspect of our being and I left many things I loved and treasured on the first part of this journey behind. I lost so much of myself and missed so many opportunities to make memories with those I love and who loved me.

I got stuck on the being under 40 with limitations and allowed my pain to rule me and control my every waking thought and left no room for anything or anyone. Thank the powers that be when I was at my lowest moment and I will refer to as my Kevorkian days I stumbled into HealingWell one night and I read and I lurked for a long time. Some of those very folks that saved me then when I couldn't save myself I work side by side here with now, some of the very words and voices that reached through that darkest time for me and held on and wouldn't allow me to quit are still here, still reaching for me if I start to sink when the road drops out from under me. That's why I do here what I do, that's why I reach out to others and exactly why I'm so hard on some of you sliding down that same cliff.

I have priceless friends here and although I would not know you if I passed you on the street today it makes your value no less.

I will forever spend what time I have left helping to ensure you always can count on finding that hand, or voice in your darkest hours.

Thank you for doing all you do to keep this forum running!

I stumbled onto it fairly recently, when I was dealing with chronic pain for the first time in my life and it was wonderful to find I wasn't alone and that there were others hurting, helping and sharing.

It must be an incredibly challenging thing but just know that it really is appreciated, even by folks like me who lurked long before ever posting. Everyone's journey through pain is different and I try to just share my own experience with a big disclaimer that it's mine alone and may not fit anyone else.

I can't imagine how tough it must be for younger people to face a lifetime of uncertainty about whether their pain will continue, how bad it will be and what's best, and someone like you is just what they need to help guide them--and of course us older dying folks like me are ever grateful to read your messages also.

Thanks for being there and for all do.

I didn't write this for thanks I wrote it as a Thank You to HW and the great people here!!

Well, you are one of those people. I followed your quest to get off methadone since I too am a long term methadone user and am thinking of once again trying to switch. I consider you a role model and I know that when I truly ready that I too can do it. Thank you for posting you experience with this....it gives me hope.

Thank you to all the wonderfully helpful mods here. You are greatly appreciated.