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Crazy update on Mid-Back Pain that won't stop!

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Chronic Pain
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Posted 1/12/2015 3:40 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone. I went to see the back neurosurgeon last week. I wasn't expecting his findings. He took the time with me to discuss the scans of my back and neck. He sees some 'problem areas', but those areas are NOT, repeat NOT, the areas I am having my troubles. Those areas are showing no abnormality and no reason for not getting better. Nothing on my scans explains my pain. He is an "out-of-the-box" thinker, and I needed to hear what he said.

First, the good news: I do NOT need surgery for this back spasm. It is a muscle that does (even slightly and if only for short amounts of time) respond to help from medication and injections. It even explains why the Botox didn't work the second time around.

Now for the bad news: He said it's pain due to stress. He equated it to PTSD- an abused woman, a man returning from war. Seriously! And this pain will not go away if things stay the way they are.

Together we tried to determine that stress- well, that wasn't hard. My stress is my job. But he made me realize something important: my stress is NOT the work I do, because I've modified it as much as I can to make it 'better' for me. It is a single person at my job. I told him that for several years there was a co-worker who was verbally and emotionally abusive, but she was let go before this pain started. His words: "Yes, but now you are still there with those who sided with her and kept her there during that abuse." HOW could he know that?! HOW could he know that I've done everything I can (without compromising my integrity- HIS words) to make it better.

The REALLY bad part of this: It's not a co-worker this time. It's my employer, my boss. I can't escape him, no matter what I do.

I lose sleep, I wake in panic in the middle of the night, worried about what I may have forgotten to do. My mind is always at work. I don't want to have a day off unless it's his day off too. If he's there, I feel like I need to be there, just in case something happens. I can't relax my mind, even on vacation; I've taken one consecutive week off in the past 4 years.

He asked how much time I've lost from work due to my back pain. "None," I said, with a chuckle. "You don't call in sick at my job. Period." He seemed so shocked. Hmmm- I wonder what he would have said if I told him I only stayed out of work 10 days, not the recommended 6 weeks, after my hysterectomy. I even worked from home during that time!

The last time I called in sick was Feb 2009, and that was for appendicitis. I missed 3 days work, total.

He said "Everyone has a choice, even a man with a gun to his head." And he said that the money, no matter how much, isn't worth this stress. So now I need to figure out what to do. Actually I guess I know what I need to do. I need a different job. A different boss.

In two months, I will have been at my job for 19 years. Obviously I've been out of the job search loop for a very long time. This will be a scary endeavor for me. Someone asked if I could take disability while I look for another job. I don't know how disability works or if I'd qualify, but I have to admit there's an appeal to that.
Posted 1/12/2015 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
Lori this is more common than you think. When I first started having so much neck & back pain we knew from the MRI's why the pain was there. But, my job was very stressful & that compounded my medical problems. I loved my job but the stress from it was incredible. My drs kept telling me for years all the help they were giving me wasn't working because the stressful job was keeping me in a knot. Stress can be a killer. When we went on vacation I had to call the office every day & handle whatever crisis there was by phone, I took work home every night & I worked weekends. Yes, I made good money but after almost 20 yrs there I walked away. One month later I was at my drs office & the first thing out of his mouth was whatever you are doing keep it up, I have not seen you look this well in years. He was talking about how I looked just by looking at my face. He said you know one of my biggest fears for you was you becoming suicidal because of the shape you were in every time you walked in my office. He said the pain was all over your face & you were wound tighter than any person I have ever known. I said I quit my job after all these years & it was really so much easier than I thought it would be. I really thought all those years I had to stay there I had so much time vested. That was the best thing I could have done for me. No my pain did not go away, but it became half way managable. I cannot say what I did will work for you.

T-9 posted to you about what happened with his wife. I suggest if this is something that may work in your favor you may want to consider doing what his wife did. Good luck.
Posted 1/12/2015 6:47 PM (GMT 0)
Lori, what you wrote about your stress and your co-worker and your boss, and what your doctor told you, reminded me of what my counselor told me a number of years back, when I was going through marriage counseling (alone I might add, as my then wife wouldn't go to it). Anyway the counselor told me that nobody is responsible for my happiness, except for me! If I am not happy with my situation, (what ever it might be) only "I" can do anything about it and change it! If I choose not to do anything to change my situation then, I have to learn to accept my unhappiness and live with it! If I decide I can not do that, then it is up to me to do something to change things so I am happy! The counselor made it sound so simple, but of course it is not! Happiness is not near as important as ones health, but happiness can have a serious impact on ones health. Sometimes these situations require some very serious, and difficult and often unwanted decisions to have to be made!

Seems to me, your situation is similar, but yours involves your place of employment, instead of your spouse or your home life! But just the same it is affecting your life in a very serious way! Anyway I know how difficult life changing decisions can be!! I do wish you all the best, and hope everything works out well for you!!

Good Luck to YOU!

White Beard
Posted 1/12/2018 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Lori,

Can't tell you what a co-incidence it has been today when i was planning to reach out to you in some way or the other after reading your problem from a 2014 post (below). I am so glad you provided an update but I want your help in sorting my health issue. I have exactly the same problem you mentioned right upper back, the front rib area, ditto. I have had this pain for 2 years now and I am just 28. These years have been nothing but depressing for me, unable to do any activities in life. I met a ton of doctors and got medication and radiation but it just doesn't stop. It is a constant pain, only the intensity fluctuates throughout the day. The doctors have told me it is a stress issue, but to be honest I do not have stress at all and I am not sure what to do. Lot of people told me it is due to poor posture but I have been working on it and has still not helped. Now my final rescue is just regular exercising- Can you confirm if you exercised regularly and if it helped cure the pain? Or anything else you tried which helped? Has the pain even got any worse or better? I am not sure if I can chat with you on this platform since i just signed up to reach out to you. But I can't let this pain overtake my life at this age and stage of my life. Please help in any way you can with your suggestions and input since you can understand my pain & what i must be going through with your experience.

Thank you in advance, really looking forward to your response.
-Rinkal

I am so tired of hurting! I had no injury to my knowledge, but my mid-back has been in muscle spasm for about 4 years. I've had x-rays and full back MRI. Things I've tried: chiropractic, acupuncture, manual manipulation, physical therapy, steroid injections, serapin & marcaine trigger point injections, heat, ice, massage, inversion table, trigger point therapy, varied muscle relaxers and pain pills, and Myobloc injections. The ONLY thing that worked was the Myobloc. But it only worked once; the second time wasn't nearly as effective. It's expensive, and now my insurance company won't cover it. I'm probably forgetting other things I've tried in the past four years.

Someone suggested Radio Frequency Ablation. I haven't seen anyone about that so I don't know if I'm a candidate. I cancelled my appt with the guy to talk about RF ablation. I heard he had a terrible reputation, so I didn't want to start something new with him.

My pain is constant, at least 1-2 on pain scale. My daily flare ups are 3-4, but at times it's more like 7-8. I work full time and don't get to take time off because I'm in pain. Because I hurt all the time, I don't want to exercise or anything else once I get home. I have to take muscle relaxers just to get comfy in bed enough to sleep, but once they wear off, I'm tossing and turning.

The only thing every doc can agree on is that it appears to be a muscle spasm that just won't let go. The pain is clearly right side, mid back, not at the spine. Sometimes it radiates a round and grabs a front rib. I just don't know what to do next!

Anyone have suggestions? Should I see a neurosurgeon? What about the ablation? Does that help for muscle pain that is not at the spinal column nerves?
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