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Posted 4/13/2015 1:26 PM (GMT 0)
tens unit worked for me, get instruction on how to use it
the entire world is crazy why should people in pain expect to be different?
I am sorry pitmom landed in the psych ward but glad she has found a way around living with her pain
Posted 4/13/2015 1:32 PM (GMT 0)
Reading other posts on this forum prove helpful even when I don't think they directly apply. I was reading and began thinking that one reason I have been depressed is that finally my meds seem to be not working so well. I have tried to pretty much stay where I am with them and this has been over a year. Oxycontin 10mg 3x a day and oxycodone 5mg, 4 times a day as needed. Suddenly not working or so it seems.

The practice I see is not stingy with medications as I've said and in fact seem to rely on them only which seems kind of strange in this day and age of Pain Management. My doctor is a Board certified anethesiologist and did a special internship with the Mayo Clinic on Pain Management.

Anyway, I saw her PA at my recent apt. who knows me well enough to ask if my meds were not working as I probably would have just said fine and gone on my way. She said we could either up the dose or try something else similar. Years ago when I had that wisdom tooth out, I was given morphine, took 1 and threw up so always assumed I couldn't take anything morphine related but after reading some of the posts here, I am thinking about giving it a try. Rufous
Posted 4/13/2015 1:53 PM (GMT 0)
I agree Joan. I support pitmom doing whatever works for her as long as it isn't harmful to her and getting help in a psych hospital is certainly necessary at times.
Posted 4/13/2015 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
Rufous, the feelings you are experiencing is something everyone goes through once they are diagnosed with a life altering dilemma. There are so many different emotions, steps we all go through. Mourning our losses are a big one & its ok to mourn those losses. Some of us had to get professional help. Its like peeling the skin off of an onion, one layer at a time. There are no shortcuts either, believe me when I say that too, I looked over 20 yrs ago, its all a process. Never sell yourself short either, it takes a very strong individual to live the life of being in chronic pain.

You are right about your PM dr. Most of them today push different procedures & injections of some type. The other side of the coin is perhaps because of your type of pain perhaps the dr does not feel you will respond to that treatment. Have you asked if there are any procedures like injections that may help?

Take care.
Posted 4/13/2015 5:30 PM (GMT 0)
Susie, thanks very much for your post. I found it very validating because at times I feel like there is a time table in grieving these losses and I am taking too long and then I get down on myself and then I'm caught in that trap. I would know better if it were someone else so that is something I am going to continue to work on. Thanks for sharing your own process. Everyone has their reasons but I have always been very physical and it is difficult to accept those limitations.

Vey good point about my type of pain and that perhaps they don't believe certain procedures would benefit me. That has occurred to me too and I think that could be part of it but I have heard other patients say the same thing. The Dr. one time indicated that she had been upset that my Primary Care had not referred me to her sooner, saying something like "these doctors just don't understand what we do and if she had sent you to me right away, I could have done a lot". If they think that the procedures won't help they don't come out and say that but like you that has occurred to me and then the other side of the coin is my Primary Care and various Drs. I have seen, question why the Pain Management people aren't trying more. Here's an odd twist. The PA sent me to a plastic surgeon. I do have significant scarring but am not bothered by appearances. It is in an area not easily seen and he was really confused. Physical Therapy and Medical Massage seemed to help me the most.

I can see somewhere, I thought this pain would leave and I'm sure this must be what so many people think. Just joining this group has been a major step in my acceptance and thanks again for your kind and helpful post. This is probably the first time I have really talked about this to any degree except to my partner who doesn't really want to talk much anymore so pardon my kind of lack of coherent posts at times. Kind of just spilling out. Rufous
Posted 4/13/2015 5:34 PM (GMT 0)
I second everything!  Everyone is contributing invaluable information, love and support. My doctor told me that distraction from my pain is essential.  Hello "crazy...you've gotta be kidding nervous cackle"...I have a FULL LIFE.  It's the pain that's distracting me from living it, mentally and physically.

There is no shame in seeking professional help.  I suffered more than one mental breakdown during the late 80's and again in the mid 90's.  Both required hospitalization.  I often say "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!".  My emotional issues were induced by the traumatic surgeries I endured, and my inability to recover from them.  Let's face it, castration and surgically induced menopause can break the straw.  It can also make you wanna shoot the camel, gut him and hide inside.  Wickedly graphic...but know that I'm joking.

I've done biofeedback, cognitive behavioral therapy...begged for electroshock therapy.  At one point I just was so desperate, I wanted to "zap" the traumatic memories from my brain...start new.  I know...WRONG.  It's not a one size fits all. 

I share openly here because I CAN.  It's cyber rather than sittng and talking.  It provides that "shield of anonymnity" that is therapeutic.  If you met professional me, you'd never know there's ONE thing wrong with me.  If you saw private me, you'd swear I'm an "extra" on Walking Dead.  Without the bells and whistles of concealers, facial/hair jams and jellies...I am what I am...SCARY DIXIE shocked .  Suffering has AGED ME beyond my years.  My efforts to hide my suffering and be superhuman have exhausted me.

  tongue   On a positive note...I love the discussion of birds and blooms!  It's that time of year, isn't it?  We buy our oiled Sunflower seeds by the #50 bags (2) at the feed and seed.  We have a garden pond with a waterfall that attracts the birds to drink and "shower". By summer we will have a butterfly garden filled with Black-Eyed Susans, Purple Cone Flowers and Zinnias.  There are massive deep blue Hydrangeas underneath the River Birch tree, along with Hostas. 

I've tried and failed with most every plant/flower under the sun (and shade).  I just don't have a green thumb.  I've managed to find that the hardy perennials work best for me.  I add the State Fair Zinnias every year.  My uncle taught me an invaluable trick for supporting the tall stems/protecting from vermen=)  He bent metal "hog wire" fencing lengths into BOW/Arch (about 2-3 ft. tall) shapes and put cages over the young plants. As the plants grow, they stand tall and the wire disappears.  Caution:  Use safety goggles and gloves when working with the wire.  I like the fact that mine has rusted over the years, because I like a weathered homestead look.

Sorry I got off topic, but it really isn't. 

Hugs to all here~~Dixie  

Posted 4/13/2015 6:10 PM (GMT 0)
One more thought, Rufous...Isn't MJ legal in your state?  We had a great gal here called BTL that had access to legal use of MJ for pain.  She was quite knowledgeable about the product, as I am not.  She educated us through her experience with it's pain relief properties.

I always feared it's reputation of "dazed, confused and craving Doritos".  Apparently, that's an old "Cheech and Chong" perception of it's recreational use.  There are strains that focus on pain, without SEs.  I'm somewhat of a PollyAnna with meds.  I've never done, nor would I ever do "recreational drugs" or alcohol.  I would, however, seriously consider medical marijuana if it were legal in my state.  There is a petition in my state that we have signed.  Unless by some miracle it becomes legal here...I will continue down this detour of PM.

It seems a viable option for you, Linda.

~Dixie 

Posted 4/13/2015 6:37 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Dixie. Much appreciated and as always some great ideas. I am a big believer in therapy both professionally and as someone who has sought out therapy myself. It helped me lots when my father died. Luckily I have lots of distraction although pain makes that difficult at times. Talk to you soon. Speaking of distraction, have a repairman coming today to look at the Furnace. I didn't add this to my profile but the house was struck by lightning several months ago and things keep showing up. Talk about stress and distraction. Poor Angel will never be the same. Hope your doing okay with your eye and until I read what you wrote I did not even know there was a blood test to show the virus levels.
Posted 4/14/2015 2:12 AM (GMT 0)
Welllll.....as long as we're talkin' birds, bees and butterflies I gotta brag about my patio sitting adventures!! I absolutely live on my patio once the temps allow it. Loads of butterfly bushes, flowers and colour--we have "too many" birdfeeders, the spouse says. Pshaw!! NO such thing! ;-)
I name all my visitors--including Mr. Buzzy-Bee and Lucy the ground squirrel. Hahaha....AND I greet them and carry on conversations with them. (Whole different kinda crazy, huh?! LOL!) We really do get a lot of activity back there, enough to amuse me the whole day! OH my gosh, the huge butterflies we get....a.m.a.z.i.n.g!

And boy do we get hummingbird wars over the feeders and butterfly bushes. I love those little boogers. LOL. THEY are one of the most incredibly fun things to capture with a camera.
Oh yes, the camera lives out on the patio with me. I blame my very very photogenic visitors. ;-)

Hope ya'll are having an awesome start to your week!
Posted 4/14/2015 2:03 PM (GMT 0)
Well mel, sure sounds like my idea of a fun time. I have been photographing hummingbirds for quite a few years now but the best part is just seeing them and getting to know them up close and personal. Aside from pure enjoyment, one of the things I have been working on regarding pain is a switch from photographing them to working on several published pieces on Broad-tailed hummingbirds in collaboration with several other people. Living where I do, I thought I had seen it all but last week a Bobcat came leaping out of my ancient Cottonwood. Now that gave me and my Kitty a jolt. Had never seen one in my backyard. Poor squirrels but that's Nature.
Posted 4/14/2015 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
Rufous, what a surprise that was having a bobcat come around. Spring is my favorite season. I love watching the birds & the squirrels while having my morning coffee. My dog gets his workout by chasing the squirrels on the fence. He had one mad this morning, it was on the crepe myrtle chattering & swishing its tail at him. He has never caught one thank goodness but they do give him a good run, lol.

I do not get many hummers anymore, they are so much fun to watch.
Posted 4/14/2015 4:16 PM (GMT 0)
Fun story Susie! My cat stalks the squirrels from inside the house and they chatter at her like that and my neighbor's dog is like yours and the squirrels love sitting on the fence and they give her what for-gives me a chuckle. Really the Bobcat incident was a one in a million and have seen just about everything but not a Bobcat and I had just been out under the tree filling the bird feeder. Needless to say, I am cautious when going outside at night. HaHa.

My hummers are just returning as we speak. It does remain an enjoyable distraction from the pain.
Posted 4/14/2015 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
Yup, like you, distraction is a good thing.

Oh my gosh...that must have got your heart going! Holy cow!! I can't say I've ever had a bobcat yet, but they are in the area I'm told.
My favorite visitor was Geoffrey the groundhog. Made himself at home in the neighbour's garden, happily chomping off all the beet tops. ROFL. My husband posted a sign "it weren't me what ate the beets, it were the rabbet" and waited for the neighbour to find it. OMG it was a great distraction! Needless to say Geoffrey moved to New Jersey( live trapped and set free in the woods they tell me, but I like my story better!) ;-)

Being outdoors is good for my soul. It's healing time and it puts me in a better "space".
It's been a long winter.
I'm ready for hummers and butterflies and lightening bugs! Bettin' just about everybody is.
Posted 4/14/2015 9:41 PM (GMT 0)
I have seen quite a few Bobcats up higher in the mountains and have some good photos of one but while bears and Mt. Lions are fairly common, I have never seen one in my yard. Not my neighbors either. All part of living in Colorado but it sure did take me by surprise. We don't have lightning bugs but I loved them growing up in St. Louis. The first photo I took after the worst part of my illness was of a hummingbird. I have worked on photographing them for so long, I sure don't want to give that up but mel, I agree, a wonderful distraction. We just live with the wildlife here and my big old Cottonwood is home for many birds and animals.
Posted 4/15/2015 11:08 AM (GMT 0)
One of the things I like best is sitting here in the morning, reading the posts. The pictures you all have just painted are wonderful! I spent a few minutes at the neighbors yesterday, watching the family of mice that have taken up residence under the central air conditioning unit! As long as they don't try to move into the house! I had a groundhog here that I named Fred. He helped himself to a bite of every single tomato in my garden! He also liked the chrysanthemums! Nothing like a groundhog to help you decide which plants to fill your garden with! The skunks are coming out of hibernation. It won't get 'aromatic' here until they start pushing the juveniles out of the nests later in the season. No squirrels in my yard, not with the dogs and cats here. Plenty in the surrounding area though. The most interesting encounter I've had was with a turkey vulture with a 6-8 ft wingspan! The dog and I just froze! After a minute or two of raising and lowering it's wings as a warning to us, it leaped up and flew to the chimney of a nearby house! Awesome!
Posted 4/15/2015 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
My Male HB showed up today. That made me happy but we are actually supposed to get snow tonight. Always the way. I believe I have gotten quite a bit more insight into my depression this last week. Trying to accept and love the new me and the old me too which is still who I am. Rufous
Posted 4/15/2015 9:25 PM (GMT 0)
smhair  Wow, Linda...A Bobcat?

YOWZER!!! I obsess with my fear of ticks and redbugs when I fill the feeders.

The shingles have SO deteriorated my vision (only readers before this...will need bifocals now) I would probably be like the lady on the TV commercial.

She invites a raccoon inside, thinking it's her "kitty...kitty".  It cracks up my husband. 

My mom had a semi-domesticated raccoon 25 years ago.  She would call "Honey, Honey!" out the back door until it appeared out of the adjacent woods.  It would come to her, stand on its hind legs and take a biscuit from her.  I know...bad idea, with potential for Rabies.  My mom was not afraid of anything or anybody.

 

Thanks for sharing your love of photography and your passion for your career. We enjoy it as a hobby, moreso for my DH...He has the patience and the equipment...prefers shooting w/tripod whenever possible.

I realize that you started this thread for your depression, but I think that there's good visuals here.  It's like having friends sitting on the deck, sharing a warm Spring day.  GOOD STUFF.

~Dixie

Posted 4/15/2015 10:30 PM (GMT 0)
Dixie, I love that commercial too. It is funny and I could see a raccoon feeling free to go right in. I live in bear and mt. lion country. two little boys were walking to school about a block away and ran into a mt. lion. Of all things Bobcats are a much rarer sighting. Shy and secretive. I am pleased I have had some photos chosen for a billboard and campaign so let me just say, this brings me great joy, not the attention but the thought that I will help them. That is how I use my photography now.

Saw my Mr. Pinky today, my male HB. My equipment is pretty heavy and I used to spend 8 straight hours photographing animals and birds and one of the greatest things I am depressed about is carrying this heavy equipment. There is no doubt it hurts but will I even be able to do it so have been concentrating more on publishing and teaching. This comes from my Dad born and raised in rural Maine. Thanks Dixie and tell your hubby I love that Raccoon commercial too. Rufous
Posted 4/16/2015 6:41 PM (GMT 0)
Rufous, not knowing what all your equipment consists of, would one of those little wire metal carts that you see people pull with their groceries in it work? There are some walkers out here in my area & they use these to put their groceries in to get them home. There has to be something available that you could use that keeps the lifting to a minimum.

I think its awesome that some of your shots have been used in billboards & campaign. Thats speaks volumes about your photography ability.

Keep up the good work!!!
Posted 4/16/2015 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
Susie, your response lifted my spirits and all I can say is thank you very much. The campaigns benefiting the animals really keep me going and bring such meaning to my life and it says a lot about your compassion and understanding that you gave real thought to my dilemma regarding my equipment. I believe your suggestions are good ones and have real possibility.

I am so used to just carrying my equipment, I have not thought about those types of aids but yes I do believe I might incorporate that into what I am doing. They may even make things like suitcases on wheels to carry cameras and lenses. I will say this. I am used to shooting all of the time but taking a step back has allowed me to explore the other side of what I do in more depth and many good things have come my way I have been doing this for a long time and it is very important to me. You are very kind and I am happy I finally worked up the courage to join. I am working on feeling more comfortable talking about myself. Rufous
Posted 4/17/2015 5:07 AM (GMT 0)
Whoa.....a whole BILLBOARD!? That tells a LOT about the quality of your photography. I take pretty pictures, but only cuz it's digital and I can take a bazillion to get that one cool one. LOL. Seriously, that's awesome. And how cool to be as passionate about animals as you are about human beings. I mean that seriously--I know some that are not.
I just love critters--but I'm talking about in their own environment that I'm allowed to share. I won't have another dog only because I had to put our family dog to sleep after a long healthy, happy life. I still relive how horrid that felt every time I go past the vet's office. I won't ever put myself in that position again. *sigh*

I do hear ya on the forcing me to slow down when taking photos. I've taken less photos in this past year--some of that's been about pain getting in the way of taking adventures....some of that's been about self pity (yes....*hanging head*....It's true, I indulged...), some of it's been the amount of time I can stand to enjoy--literally. I need to try Max (the named TENS unit) and see if that can't buy me some more time. And if not--maybe it's okay that the circumstances force me to shorten my time and movement. It just means taking closeups of the awesome things right in front of me, huh.

Oh...and I'm envious you have hummers already. NOT envious of the bobcat, mountain lion OR the snow. LOL
JUST sayin.... ;-)

*hugs*

Yaknow, Staples has a great deal on those fold down crates on wheels with telescoping handles. Those suckers go over rough terrains easy peasy. And they come in boring black. LOL. Think of what fun you could have jazzing they up!
Posted 4/17/2015 10:12 AM (GMT 0)
I started out photographing wildflowers many years ago and still love wildflowers. I may go back to doing more of that again. I am passionate about photography and I always encourage people to photograph what they love to photograph.

Today I am anxious because I must get my refills and how that works for me is I say a little prayer that I get the nice, young pharmacist. The other gentleman just stares at everything trying to find a problem and finds one when there are none. Something I dread. The hummers may return to where they cam from for a few days. We have a pretty bad snowstorm. Well wishes for you mel and thanks
Posted 4/17/2015 10:26 AM (GMT 0)
the turtle is just saying g'day. keep fightin'. the thread is a bit long for my diabetic eyes, but i just wanted to say hi.
Posted 4/17/2015 10:32 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Happy, it is getting long for me as well. I may start a new one about the pharmacist but Hi to you and hope you have the best day possible. Rufous
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