No longer a mere statistic

I have followed the rising statistics of pain patients who have chosen suicide owing to intractable pain when they no longer had access to prescription optiates through their medical provider/physician.

I read the news reports of suicide with a saddened heart and a felling of kindred spirit - even though I do not know the people identified. I "feel" the pain of others likely afflicted with severe, ongoing pain.

The suicide statistics of pain patients has become real and personal to me.

Last month, a close friend of my family made an irreversible act to jump off of a 4th floor balcony - sustaining life threatening injuries that she succumbed to last week. She left a explanatory note to her family, citing that she could no longer tolerate living in pain. She had been on prescription opiates for rheumatoid arthritis and had been subjected to unilateral dose reductions by her provider given the increasingly restrictive environment.

Her name was Jenny. Jenny was 56 years of age. A wife, a mother, and a new grand-mother. A former dental hygentist. A gardening enthusiast. A lover of dogs. A woman with a gentle soul and a kind heart. Jenny represents a light extinguished too early.

I knew Jenny from grade school. She was a year ahead of me.

Jenny's family is awash with overwhelming grief.

I feel hollow inside thinking about Jenny. I can understand what drove her to to suicide. Unrelenting pain that consumes the totality of ones' being.

Jenny's story and suicide places a name and face to those with pain who are being denied pain relieving opiares as an over-reaction to the widely publicized opiate epidemic.

The world has lost a bright light in losing Jenny. I want Jenny to be more than a statistic and that is why I am writing this post.

While my pain is fairly well controlled with my current opiate cocktail, I have given thought to suicide when my pain experience has been severe for days-on-end. I can identify with my friend Jenny and what lead her to suicide.

Jenny, your family and friends will always carry you in their hearts.

It is a difficult time to be a person with pervasive pain. My friend, Jenny, paid the ultimate price and her family will forever grieve her loss.

God's speed,
Karen

Pit Mom, Thank You for your reply.

Jenny was a lovely and gracious person. Quiet and reserved. With a gentleness of presence. I would not have thought that she was contemplating suicide as a means to end her ongoing and long-standing pain due to auto-immune based rheumatoid arthritis.

She was obviously suffering more than anyone realized.

I know, for myself, that pain does not become easier to cope with with time. Time does not make me stronger in the face of ongoing pain. In fact, my ability to cope and adapt diminishes with time where pain has no end date.

The world lost a lovely person with Jenny's tragic suicide. I want this post to stand as an acknowledgement of Jenny and to those who suffer with chronic pain and to acknowledge their needs for access to medication/opiates to ease personal suffering.

In memory of Jenny,
Karen

Karen, what a terrible tragedy & that you lost a friend. Something that should have not happened. If I remember correctly this is 2 friends that you have lost this year. There really are not any words that I can say that will help at this point. Jenny, was one of those people that suffered in silence the best she could, but a person can only take so much.

In the meantime, remember Jenny as the person you knew her to be, a wonderful lady & friend. Until you read something like this, the average chronic pain patient has no idea how the world of treatment has changed & will continue to change.