I give up!

I'm new to this forum and this is my first post. I'm a 74 year old male that's always been active during my life, hell, my wife and I sailed around the world on our sailboat between 2001 and 2010 (a wonderful and adventurous time). A couple of years ago I made a concerted effort to correct any physical ills I could in an attempt to get 10 more good years on this body. Now it seems I've just wasted 2 years. I think the final straw was my pain physician telling me he couldn't help me as he tried everything available. Can't even take Percocet or Fentanyl as I can't poop and they both stopped working after a while.

As Human Beings we have a lifespan and at 74 I think mine is over. At least the good years. From now on I've resigned myself to a life of pain and problems till I pass.

Do I sound depressed? Hell yes!

I give up!

Of course your depressed! Pain does that.
Opioids don't work for me either. Some never did and some only helped a little and now don't work at all. I stopped them cold turkey without even having withdrawal. I still take tramadol, not for pain, for which it never did anything, but the side effect of making me happier.
Some of us are poor metabolizers or maybe non-metabolizers. Especially if you are of Norwegian ancestry (I have posted about this.) It's hereditary too. My mom was one and one of my sons is.
My pain doc gave up on me. He says take marijuana. I can't get to that yet.
We don't get to give up. Life is not over. We are still needed. Life is just different ... new normal ... all those old saws. My sons and grandkids still need attention. I ignore depression when I am interacting with family or friends. Stuff still needs to get done, so we Energenizer Bunnies just keep going and going and going. (I'm a little older than you.)

Thanks all,,,,

i'm walking uphill to my house with a hell of a lot of back pain in an effort to get stronger so I guess I'm not giving up yet. Don't know why I'm exerting myself.

Perhaps it's the Ketamine nasal spray I'm taking for depression.

Thanks for the comeback. I've got a boatload of Methocarbamol. I take 2 of them before sleep but the script from my primary says 2, 4X per day. Helps with restless legs but not much else. Perhaps I should take more.

My ills,,,,, I've got osteoporosis, 9 compression fractures from T7 through L2, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, IBS-C, Gerds, MGUS, Puerperal Neuropathy, Psoriasis, Sleep Apnea, COPD, AFIB (2 ablations), I have to get up at least 4 times a night to pee, about 25 liver cysts with the biggest the size of a quarter plus a few others. That's what you find out when you spend your time (2 years) going to physicians to get a take on you physical being at an older age but I'm still able to walk and look pretty good for my age. (Most people think I'm in my late 50's.) I guess I should feel blessed I'm still around as most of my friends are now gone along the way.

That's what you find out after going to a lot of physicians. They all find something to treat and want to give you another med. The problem then becomes one of discrimination. What ills do you just disregard and what medications to take.

Hell,,, I've flown from California to Alabama to see a physician who's suppose to be the authority on Fibromyalgia and its related symptoms and have had 7 Ketamine infusions for depression.

I know I'm old but as Art Linkletter said,,, "Growing old isn't for sissys"

Now my dilemma is 'to give up and just accept it or work to get a few more years' and I don't know if the effort is worth the work. i guess it's not over because for the past 2 weeks I've been driving to the marina here in Dana Point California and walking to my house a half mile away, uphill with almost 400 steps. Because of the uphill walks my back hurts like hell and I've developed a dowagers back but then I had a bit of that before because of the compression fractures.

I was an agnostic but have turned into an atheist.

To give up or not to give up,,, that is the question!

Post Edited (tdhcsc) : 3/29/2020 9:26:02 AM (GMT-6)

I can relate tdhcsc, I'm 70 and have had problems for.......well, in retrospect, most of my life. But then I went through menopause, got a horrible virus, pneumonia, ear infections, sinus infections and took too many antibiotics (I think the one that did the most damage was Cipro), developed peripheral neuropathy, then bone on bone knees, bad feet, sleep apnea, etc., etc. Recently I ruptured a disc, which is impinging on the nerve root, which causes constant pain in my back and left thigh. Tramadol doesn't really help, cyclobenzaprine just makes me sleepy, and I can't take NSAIDS. If you ever watched the TV series (Dinosaurs), I sometimes say maybe it's time for me to hurl myself into the tar pit ;)
Well, now that I got whining out of the way.........Have you ever been tested for Lyme disease? Since you traveled around the world, might you need to see an infectious disease doc?
I wish I could be as positive as Sherrine is. It's really hard, being in pain all the time. Let's face it, when there's lots of pain, our bodies are made to set off tons of alarms, and it's very hard to be distracted with the good things in life.
Have you ever tried acupuncture? chiropractic? Holistic-type medicine? Sorry if I missed it, but would massage help? Hypnosis? Do you have a therapist?
I'm like you.......I was sooooo physical in my younger years. I didn't depend on anyone for heavy lifting, etc. I was used to doing everything myself, and not asking anyone for anything. We live out in the country. I've always had a huge garden, water gardens, planted hundreds of trees,bushes, etc. It's almost impossible to be happy with anything less. But......what are the options? Probably like you, I don't want to spend what's left of my life being in pain, depressed, angry, etc. I have a feeling there are a lot of us "baby boomers" whose bodies have gotten worn out. I'm glad there are places like this to come to, to vent, and to hear of possible alternatives/solutions.

Everyone is different though, and what works for one person might not work for another.
How about a TENS unit? Can you find a different pain doc, who might have a few more solutions, or a different approach? I wish you the very best and can totally understand you're feeling really bad physically, and emotionally, for having seemingly lost your life. I hope maybe I've suggested one thing that you haven't thought of yet.
Even though I can't do much these days (especially with the COVID19, I can't even see any doctors), but I do try to be as grateful as I can........all though the days.......even the smallest of things.
Even though I have a hard time reading, I've recently bought 2 books on "neuroplasticity". It's about how we talk to ourselves, and our brains listen and respond. Saying and thinking positive things throughout the day (even if you don't believe them at the moment) can retrain your brain to be more positive, and that has positive effects on your general well-being. Don't know if that's complete hogwash or not......but it's worth a try, right?
Good luck to you!