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You may have crohns if

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 4/24/2008 5:38 PM (GMT 0)
...you now can appreciate bathroom humor, when just a few years ago it disgusted you when your son used it.
...you talk openly with other like people without being embarrassed.
...you have a stool infront of your toilet that has crossword & suduko puzzles on it.
...you have a heating pad next to your bed for those painful nights.
...your husband looks at your *** and doesn't get turned on.
Posted 4/24/2008 8:12 PM (GMT 0)
... You can change the sheets/mattress pad in the middle of the night with hardly opening your eyes.

... You have a clean pair of undies stashed in every possible place - office, car, purse, computer bag - never know when you'll need them.

... You have a little space heater, a selection of books/magazines, a phone next to the toilet.

...  You know the anatomy of your colon like a pro - feel a pain and you can pin point it exactly.  "My transverse colon has been giving me problems lately" or "I think I may have som inflamation in my Sigmoid" 

Posted 4/24/2008 8:50 PM (GMT 0)
You may be a Crohnie if you know exactly where/what your transverse colon and sigmoid are.

You may be a Crohnie if your siblings come to you with pooping problems they're too embarassed to discuss with their spouses or doctors.

You may be a Crohnie if you buy purses based on how much TP they will hold.

Posted 4/24/2008 8:53 PM (GMT 0)
you know you're a crohnie...when you celebrate a solid one in the potty
Posted 4/25/2008 7:23 PM (GMT 0)
You may be a crohnie if:

You have started to believe that GI's should be in line for personality transplants!

You compose your best music/poetry on a toilet!

You know ever variation to that old limmerick about the man from Nantuckett!

You've ever visited a website named Ratemypoo.com!

You wish it REALLY had been ALL in your head!

Matthew
Posted 4/25/2008 8:14 PM (GMT 0)
Your husband has to check if it was you or the cat that was last in the bathroom

Your daughter regularly asks if you are making stinkies when you pass a car with bad exhaust
Posted 4/25/2008 9:54 PM (GMT 0)
nono nono You know you are a Crohnie if: A family member leaving 1 square of toilet paper onthe roll qualifies as a Cardinal Sin....and you want to go postal on them........you buy diaper creme for a sore butt...and you are an adult...WITHOUT diapers...you consider butt terms such as enemas as ordinary talk....you determine your food not by taste, fat content, and health....but by how long you want it to STAY IN.....you actually have stock in the febreze company and get a punch card for purchases !!!!
Posted 4/26/2008 3:25 PM (GMT 0)
You may be a crohnie if:

You are a single man who buys diapers & femine hygiene products for himself.

If you fail an Emissions test-without your car!!

Mathew
Posted 4/26/2008 6:44 PM (GMT 0)
Matthew! We girls appreciate you!!!! Just leave some feminie hygiene products on the store shelves for us. ;-)
Posted 4/27/2008 3:13 AM (GMT 0)
You might have crohn's If:


- You've ever decided to give in to temptation, eat the salad and a small bite of steak at Outback steakhouse, only to hit your head against the wall in the bathroom at 3am... (hope that steak/salad was worth it!!)

- The majority of your "exercise" consists of running TO and FROM available bathrooms in the house

- You've bleached, scrubby-bubbled, comet-ed and everything else you can think of and your toilet STILL has stains on the seat!!

- You've ever stayed at a boyfriend's sister's house, had an accident in the bed, and had to wait until everyone left, beg your b/f to wash the sheets while you went shopping with her. (no, hasn't happened to you? haha just me then).

- The Charmin TP travel roll is a staple. AND it DOES make a difference to get the 2ply!
Posted 4/28/2008 3:25 AM (GMT 0)
FallColors,

Only those with CD REALLY understand me though!

You know you're a crohnie:

You own stock options in all TP companies!

You're a guy & keep the tilet sparkling clean-every day.

You are addicted to this Website! LOL.

Matthew
Posted 4/28/2008 2:42 PM (GMT 0)
when you go on a new med and they tell you it might constipate you and you actually get excited that maybe it will work in your favor

you only buy black underwear

your stomach makes such loud noises people think you were talking to them

your grandparents ask you what they can expect when they go in for their first colonoscopy

you can clench your buttcheeks so hard you are sure if you put coal in there you could make a diamond

eep!
Posted 4/28/2008 7:09 PM (GMT 0)
..your family doctor's receptionist knows you by first name, and your voice when making appointments.
..you select movies based on their theater location near a bathroom.
Posted 4/28/2008 11:22 PM (GMT 0)
...You've ever contemplated ditching a pair of under-wear in the trashcan of a public bathroom and going "commando"
...You've ever taken the time to truly appreciate a nice solid dump.

Great thread!
Posted 4/28/2008 11:33 PM (GMT 0)
You still have trouble deciphering lol, IMHO, ROFL but have no trouble with CRP, ESR, and ALT.
Posted 4/28/2008 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
Matthew - you said: "You can shimmy out a car window of any size if the door gets jammed!" My husbands seat belt got jammed once when he was having an IBS attack! We almost had to cut it off of him. I cant remember if he wiggled out of it or if we finally got it unhooked. It was horrable.
Posted 4/28/2008 11:57 PM (GMT 0)
LOL. That would be bad. Sorta like that old Chuck Berry song about the girlfriend with a stuck seatbelt!

You know you have Crohn's :

When you are afraid to use your Khaki dress code at work! (Why Why Why that..)

Your not a med student but your bookcase is 75% medical texts.

Your male but obsess over your diet!

Matthew
Posted 4/29/2008 10:51 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much everyonel..... with everything that has been going on I've been crying for days.....this thread made me cry with laughter.! Just what this old gal needed to recharge her batteries.

You know you have Crohn's:

When your neighbor calls you for advice on the color and shape of her poo!

Your daughter goes to the bathroom hours after you've gone, and still yells"MOTHER!"

You are up at 3 a.m talking and comparing your poo-poo with people you've never met!

You order something at the restaurant and your daughter announces, "mother don't you think this will give you the runs!" for the whole restaurant to hear.

Your children are the hit of the family reunion weekend with their stories of your poop in your pants, nylons, shoes, bushes, etc accident stories".

Mary
Posted 4/29/2008 1:15 PM (GMT 0)
I just love this thread.
Mary just what I needed too ......today

You know you have Crohns when other ppl in the pharmacy get embarrassed when you are talking quietly to your Pharmacist....about problems or issues with your crohns / meds........and for YOU it is normal everyday convo

SO Many great ones here for sure Sniper great thread my friend...
And all others good input and helped me laugh away my tears today.........THANKS
Posted 4/29/2008 8:52 PM (GMT 0)
You know you have Crohn's when:

You've been known to polevault over the lines at the public restroom at the mall!

Threads like this one get you excited..

Every skin rash triggers an emotional crisis!

You plot your walking/driving routes by number of reststops on the way.

Matthew
Posted 4/29/2008 8:57 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Matthew - for your khaki dress code, check out uniform style pants. Dickies sells them as well as many professional uniform companies. When I worked corrections they provided our khaki colored bottoms. They are really thick, a bit uncomfortable, but nothing passes through them. For us it was to keep bodily fluids from getting in. But I am sure it would work to keep them from getting out as well. I spilled an entire drink in my lap once and my skin was dry. They aren't white khaki but more of a very light brown khaki. The uniform company would wash and press them for us too. But since they were kind of stiff I liked to wash my own w/ lots of fabric softener and wear them for a couple days between washings to soften them up. They still looked totally professional though and if I wore them to the store after work no one knew they were "uniform" pants.
Posted 4/29/2008 8:57 PM (GMT 0)
dustspeck , I loved your one about pills constipating, I take a muscle relaxer that is supposed to but hasn't yet. Also about explaining a colonoscopy to grandparents... I had a similar situation with my MIL :) Great stuff everyone! I really needed this laugh today! Karen
Posted 4/29/2008 11:42 PM (GMT 0)
You may be a Crohnie if...

even your pet cats understand when you say "going to the toilet" and (I swear this is true) know to jump of your lap and stay out of your way as you dash to the loo.
Posted 4/30/2008 12:04 AM (GMT 0)
...you would never dream of flushing the toilet without first examining your poop

...you must sit on the aisle at any event

...you will starve for hours in order to attend your kid's soccer game, and not have to use the port-a-potty!
Posted 4/30/2008 4:13 AM (GMT 0)
If you drag your pillow to the bathroom with you at night.
If there is a spot on the wall next to the toilet where you lean your head
If you can make a new york cab smell worse.
If you have ever had to throw your drawers away in the dippy dumpster behind Wall Mart..
If You have larger clothes for bloated days..
If you pass gas loudly with each step on the way to the restroom, even though you are clinching as hard as you can, and praying that its just gas passing.
If you try to time gas releases with the slamming of the car door .
If you pray the paster is quick when he says , " let us have a moment of silence. "
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