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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 8/25/2008 8:48 PM (GMT 0)
I am 44. Have had crohns since I was 6. It was misdiagnosed for the first five years and they didn't discover it was crohns until my intestines exploded at age 11.
I have had 37 operations since that first one and am down to having barely enough gut left to live unassisted...I have a living will that states that that isn't an option I chose to take.
it's back...since mid june. I am sooo freaking tired of it...just want it to leave me the hell alone...why doesn't it just go away? I have lost so much of my life because of this darned disease...
I am tired of being brave, tough, and all the other worthless terms used to keep me going...I'm none of those, I just want it to go away!!!!
my fiance left me last january cause she had "to think of my future"...I have had to quit jobs, avoid gatherings (why does every type of party involve food?), and am currently trying to graduate college but it's hard when you have surgery every darn year!!!
I don't know...I just know I am so very very tired of fighting this.
Posted 8/25/2008 8:57 PM (GMT 0)
I feel you, although my Crohns is no where as bad as yours. But all the little side effects of the drugs, disease etc can really wear a person down. I have had this stinkin disease for 33 years myself.

You have come to a great place to vent. We all understand what you are living with. Please don't feel bad about venting we are here for you. You will find alot of kind and supportive folks here.

Hugs,
Gail *Nanners*
Posted 8/25/2008 9:04 PM (GMT 0)
it's hard for me to talk about it...I was raised not to bother others with my problems.
that time my insides exploded, my parents left me in the hospital for three months...only returned when it was time for me to go home. I've always pretty much done it alone, cause anytime I have tried to count on someone, they leave cause they can't handle it.
it's worse depending on someone and having them leave than doing it alone.
Posted 8/26/2008 12:40 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Glad you joined us and your right about depending on yourself it seems sometimes we are alone in our personal world and it does take some to keep going. What kind of meds are you taking and was wandering if any are helping you now? At least here you have others to talk to and not be alone. lol gail
Posted 8/26/2008 3:38 AM (GMT 0)
You've come to the right place. We can all empathize with your feelings here. Feel free to vent all you want. Sometimes it actually helps.
Posted 8/26/2008 4:24 AM (GMT 0)
Venting is so important and you've been through so much. This group is wonderful and I hope you find some peace and comfort here!
Posted 8/26/2008 8:07 AM (GMT 0)
Same
Posted 8/26/2008 8:31 AM (GMT 0)
Hi guy, and welcome to the site. We dont have all the answers here but we have a lot of caring people that do know what life is like with crohns. Stay a while and talks with us.
Posted 8/26/2008 5:08 PM (GMT 0)
Mostof us ahve lost gut. Not to your extreme though. You have a right to be frustrated. Just stick around and let us help you keep going.
Posted 8/26/2008 5:21 PM (GMT 0)
I don't have Crohn's nearly as bad as you, infact mine is extremly mild, but I can relate to how your feeling. The meds alone stink and make us feel crapy, let alone this disease. I'm 36 and have been dealing with it 8 years now. I have only had two bad flares, one I have been dealing with since end of April now. But I have had problems in between where I had to go on meds and it just stinks.
I wish I had an answer for you. I too wish it would go away and never return!! :-(
I am sorry to hear your finance left you. That is too bad. You will find the right person out there for you. Don't let it get to you. I'm on my second marriage. My first husband was an idiot and basically when I got sick, he didn't want to "deal with me anymore" as he put it. Well ya know what, I didn't want to be with him either. If he couldn't be there for me and love me for who I am, then forget him. Second husband is so loving and understanding and always there for me when I am sick.
He will take me to my appointments, pick up my meds, etc...
So you will find the right one!!

Hang in there!
Posted 8/26/2008 5:35 PM (GMT 0)
Oh my goodness, what a sad life you have led....Parents that left you so on and so on. BUT I promise if you come here we will
not desert you. We may not always be able to take your pain and problems away, but we will listen. I think I can honestly say
we are all good at that'
Here you're amongst friends...Please keep posting.....Together we'll ride the storm.

I wish you nothing but good luck from now on....Keep your chin up!!!
Posted 8/26/2008 5:54 PM (GMT 0)
I really don't even know just exactly what to say..please vent as much as you need to. It's a simple fact that it is not healthy to keep things like that inside, and it sounds like you really need to get that out. I'm so sorry for what you've been through. It's really wonderful that you're still fighting though and you should know that everyone here is right behind you all the way. I know that it's difficult, but I've definitely learned so far that we just have to keep pushing ourselves no matter how terrible it gets..I'm sure you'll find the right person and I know you can finish college :) Just hang in there!!
Posted 8/26/2008 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Just wandering how things are going today. lol gail
Posted 8/27/2008 3:18 AM (GMT 0)
hey pleasenomore. welcome .. to qoute an old president.. "i feel your pain" . be not in the pool of misery but the pond of contentment. i know corny, but good. when you say living without assistance , what do ya mean exactly? medical ? personal? both? i do it . it aint that bad. better than the alternative. keep on truckin'!
Posted 8/27/2008 6:26 PM (GMT 0)
I know how u feel..i was trained as well to find a fix no matter what you have to do while not asking for nothing from no one. I've also went through the divorce thing because of the disease...i think god gave us this all for a reason, you just have to figure out why.
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