dietcoke--sorry you are having such a hard time I know how difficult it can be dealing with this disease AND a small child!
I cannot help you with the trials you mentioned, but I can give you a suggestion regarding an ileo...check out the ostomy board. There are MANY of us who have lived with Crohn's, have children AND live wonderful symptom free lives without medication. If you check out some of flchurchlady's posts, she had crohn's colitis, too (mine included small bowel to rectum), and may have some good info for you.
I would definitely start with a second opinion...do you have access to a teaching hospital? I am sorry I don't know your background and I could be asking silly questions...