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OT: Are you a cheek lifter?

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 3/19/2009 5:09 PM (GMT 0)
One day my friend and I were driving along the highway. She had to fart and just let it rip. I was astonished that she didn't even have to lift her butt cheek to release it. So, we got into a discussion about fart procedure. I insisted that if you're sitting down either the right butt cheek, or the left butt cheek, should be lifted before firing away. Otherwise it doesn't have proper release and it's too much of a strain. I personally cannot fart without lifting. What say you?
Posted 3/19/2009 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
I would have to agree, Squattie. While I technically can (and often do) fart without body modification - it always seems WAY more productive if I make the effort to "lift". Lol.
Posted 3/19/2009 5:50 PM (GMT 0)
Sounds like the types of conversations my man and I have, lol! Anyway, my personal fart procedure totally depends on the velocity of the air release. If it's one of those "I'm in the middle of a flareup and am about to visit the toilet" little/light/warm farts, straining is a really bad idea, so lifting a cheek (or two) is definitely the best idea. But if you're not in the midst of a flare and feel one of those farts coming on that feels like it could lift a rocket, I only bother lifting if I'm in public. Alone, I satisfy my inner nine-year-old with one heckuva seat rumbler. :-)
Posted 3/19/2009 6:27 PM (GMT 0)
Back in the day, when EVERYTHING was still naturall firm, I didn't have to lift a cheek, I was also a slimmer person then too so there'd even be the odd time when I'd let out a big fart that I would levitate a bit from it LOL!

I prefer to lift a cheek while sitting now, just in the small chance that it ends up being a shart and not a fart, hoping it will be less messy by lifting if it's the shart.

:)
Posted 3/19/2009 6:29 PM (GMT 0)
Not having proper clearance can result in a flapping action that distorts the sound creating a muffled underwater gurgled sound that can miss idintified as a ,,SHaRT,,. Either way, they are not to be trusted..
Posted 3/19/2009 7:19 PM (GMT 0)
lol o man this made me laugh ... Miss J i have an inner 9 year old too ... and any fart or talk of fart just makes my day lol
Posted 3/19/2009 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
Indeed, Sniper. Never trust a fart.
Posted 3/20/2009 12:55 PM (GMT 0)
It's not whether you lift a cheek or not. It's which cheek to lift while sitting on your couch with your spouse. I am still trying to teach my loving husband that he does not ahve to share everything----he always leans away from me to fart which of course aims it to me. Ahhh the joys of having a hubby who understands a good fart!
Posted 3/20/2009 3:04 PM (GMT 0)

My hubby likes to say "better to share it than bear it." 

Lifting depends on where you are and with whom.  When you lift you make it obvious and you can't blame the dog.  

Posted 3/20/2009 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
My children and I laugh every time one of us farts tongue tongue tongue tongue
Posted 3/20/2009 6:45 PM (GMT 0)
So cutie, there must be a lot of laughter in your house then????? I know for a good long time when I had excessive gas issues that there was a lot more laughter around my house too...thank goodness the fibre supplements brought that to an end though.

:)
Posted 3/21/2009 8:50 AM (GMT 0)
i too think it depends on positional physics. and type and makeup of seating apparatti. also size and flexibility of rearmost appendage has tons to say about if one lifts or does not. i mrean if your of a larger size and do not lift you may encounter the "thigh quake" which if the exiting gas is held under enough pressure as to then proceed down the pant to the inner thigh. therby releasing the full amplitude of thigh quakedom. severe scrotal flapping could also be caused by this phenomenon. if seated firmly enough pain may result. if seated on a leather or vinyl surface wile wering shorts a the material can transmit the shock wave to a room filling "braaappp" sound thus identifying you to anyone in the room as the farter. this should be avoided by sitting only on fabric such as coarse wool or cotton seating to enable the natural muffling effects to help hide your identity. tight fitting garments such as leather or "pleather" pants should be avoide at all costs. not only for sound amplifying reasons but the odd tendancy to "keep" and odor untill the pants are removed. if this happens , say in a moment of passion, the entire occaision could suffer from irreparable KISS, (kept it smelling syndrome). the other person could mistakenly beleive that you just did it , when in fact it was hours ago before you ever met. disastorous outcome is predicted in this event.
Posted 3/21/2009 10:34 AM (GMT 0)
Definitely a leg lifter. Wow! I sound like a male dog.
My Dad use to say every time he would cut loose. " It's better to bear the shame than bear the pain" So his legacy lives on. lol
Posted 3/21/2009 4:22 PM (GMT 0)
I just had to leave the room where my hubby was, because he dropped a major SBD stink bomb!! shocked I don't know if he lifted his leg or not.

I think he's getting back at me for all the deadly Crohn's farts I shared with him over the years. That's one thing I don't miss since my proctocolectomy! tongue
Posted 3/21/2009 7:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hmm Ive never really lifted my cheek before.  I guess I always figured if I was letting one go, and something snuck up on me it would be easier to clench my buttcheeks that way haha.  Randy, Im going to have to disagree with you, I am larger and Ive never had thigh earthquakes.  Maybe I just havent had a fart strong enough to create them though, I dunno.  Nevertheless, I will have to try it sometime!! Dont threaten me with a good time!  My favorite farts are when Im laying in bed and my tummy is all gurgly, and I let one out and I feel like amazing afterwards...A small warning though, dont try this if you have a heated blanket...they get trapped under there for what seems to be days.

Posted 3/21/2009 9:50 PM (GMT 0)
Farts cannot be trusted. I hold them in until I can make it to the bathroom.
Posted 3/22/2009 4:51 AM (GMT 0)

It depends.  If I am having loose/watery BMs, I will always try to make it to the bathroom though I am sometimes unsuccessful.  If my stools are firmer, I can let one squeak out and that feels nice because I don't have to interrupt whatever it was that I was doing.  Sometimes I can fart while seated but I do prefer to lift, relax and allow the fart to completely exit.  I greatly dislike the seated farts where the back of my buttocks are firmly pressed together and the fart must then escape forward, tickling past my woo-hoo.

Traditionally, if I am passing gas that usually means a BM is imminent.  Since I became afflicted with Crohn's Disease, imminent is often changed to concurrent.

A Fart Story:

My husband and I have been married for almost 16yrs.  In the first years of our marriage (and engagement) we developed a 'call sign' called: "foofy".  This warning was to be used to alert the spouse that a fart was on the way and they could then decide to risk remaining in close proximity or leave.  One evening in the winter, we were driving home and he dropped an SBD that STUNK.  I mean, it was like a noxious green cloud hanging in the car. 

I gagged and pawed for the window button, but it was so bitterly cold outside I was unable to thoroughly 'air' the car.  I cried at him:  "Ugh!  Why did you do that with no warning, man?!"  He just grinned at me and said:  "Oh, foofy."  eyes   Ha. Ha. Hm.

Some weeks later we were lounging in the living room and watching a movie on TV.  I was seated in a corner of the couch and he was sprawled along the couch with his head pillowed on my lap.  Yup.  You've guessed it:   devil I dropped a phenominal stinker of an SBD.  He LEAPT upright with his face in a rictus of disgust and giving me a dirty look exclaimed:  "Hey!"  I grinned at him and said in a sweet/sing-song voice:  "Oh, fffoooooffyyyyy."

Posted 3/22/2009 5:42 AM (GMT 0)
You know although a fart cannot be trusted for me after all these yrs of having this DD I've definitely tuned into which ones will only be farts and which will be sharts...if only I could hold my actual stools in cuz once that urge hits (which definitely has a different sensation than a fart or a shart) then I'd be happier (less frequency would be nicer too). I also have a keen sense of the farts that are leading up to an urgent bowel movement as well.

:)
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