Mental state of mind after surgery

Many of us with this darn disease suffer with depression and/or anxiety and need anti-depressants. This disease affects your life so much, and can be so embarrassing with accidents, pain, feelings of isolation, no one really understanding what we live with. I believe if after the surgery your wife really gets relief from her symptoms, then yes her spirits will more than likely improve as her health improves. What is going on that you consider her unstable? That she doesn't want to get out bed, she isn't showering or caring for herself? Maybe what you are thinking of as unstable is just a woman very very ill, without the energy to do the usual necessities in life. This disease can literally kick your butt to where you can barely even walk. So please clarify a little. Good luck!

Gail *Nanners*

Hi Has your wife been on prednisone that certainly makes a person a little different mentally when on it. I found that when the body has lost alot of weight and is suffering from malnutrition it can be hard to make decisions and to focus on other things till the body starts repairing and the strength comes back.I was very fragile emotionally after my surgeries and it did get better with time and getting my body stronger. lol gail

Hi Sounds like you have had a go of dealing with your wife's illness and I know it can be hard onthe people close to us. I will say one thing though it should not lead to affairs unless there is a problem already existing .People with crohn's can feel isolated at times. Lack of eating could be from nasusea or meds and they can cause alot of sideeffects. I hope your wife will do better soon .How is her crohn's disease now?lol gali

Keepinghope, I feel uncomfortable saying much more then seek professional help for the family. Because this effects your entire family.

Hi It is amazing sometimes the strength that we do have and has she had her B-12 checked as it can help with the tiredness at times vitamins are good too .Does she have a support group or do you, that can help. I know being here has been a great comfort to me and the info I have gotten is great. It is good of you to try to seek some help for her and understanding on your part is a very good thing.Hope she doea good on her medical appointment this week and if you are feeling alone keep in touch with us we will help if we can. lol gail

Perhaps she wants a little space and that is why she flies off the handle at times. I don't know how old your children are but I would think that you are worried about there future as well .Not really much I can advise you about all this other then perhaps some councelling to talk things over if she has made up her mind to end the relationship then that is a difficult thing to change and I know you are probably feeling the stress. lol gail

Hi all

She has had her resection, but is still sick every day, it has been 5 days. Do doctors ask about state of mind or did you have to bring it up?

She has suffer 8 years plus. Her seretonin level has to be low. any assistance would help

 

Five days post surgery is more then likely going to be sick.
I think if this is something important to you then you are going to have to ask about it. Is she still in the hospital?

Sammies
I tried talking to 2 of her doctors and they can do nothing unless she asks and she feels she has no problems. both doctors and her councilor admit she has a emotional problem which they feel may change after surgery due to her pain of 8 years hopefully will be gone. She wants to control everything in the house and what everyone does that lives in the house. Time will tell I have spend enough on lawyers already, I'm trying to protect my kids the best I can and provide a as normal life as possible.

keepinghope

 Hey husband how is your wife doing today? This disease can bring you down if you let it easier said than done right try and keep her mind busy i mean take her somewhere were you used to go together years ago and see if that will bring back your wife we all get like this sometimes its hard frustrating and poison if you asked me but i talk alot to people like this that can relate to what i am talking about maybe someday your wife will join us here i hope so . Please tell her that this is not the end of the road its just a little bump in the road and she might not realize right now but she has the strengh for this we all find it sometimes we search a litttle harder and there is bumps and pot holes every where but we learn to steer our cars right through them like they were jello. Best of luck to ya both tell your wife i am sending her hugs. Your bowel buddy Jenn.

keepinghope said...
Hi all. Mentally she is more calm but still thinks she can control everyone. The problem now is the lawyer says she has to stop divorce proceedings before the legal system time frame forces her into the court room. Which she is not going to accept and what is the pressure going to do for her crohn's. her doctors have said they can help but she has to ask. She has been waited on hand and foot. If she has to look after herself living on her own. Doctors response THATS HER CHOICE

I am so sorry for what your going through has your wife planned on getting a divorce before she got sick is she blaming you for her getting sick i hope not sounds like you could use the support more than your wife things will work out for sure maybe not the way you want but the way they are suppose to and again i am so sorry keepinghope.Keep your eyes open and listen to everything she says keep on your toes bud that is all i can tell ya?Your buddy on the net Jenn

Keepinghope- You and your family are in my prayers. You are a hero! I was raised by a parent with a serious mental illness. If your wife will not seek help on her own, you NEED to get yourself and the children in family counseling ASAP! It took me until my 30's to get rid of all the baggage my mother's illness inflicted on me. Her influence whether intentional or not is setting a stage for your children's future and their ability to have "normal" relationships and healthy self esteem which will be vital to their success in their lives. Drop the housework for 2 days a week and take everyone to counseling...it is more important! If your financial situation makes you uncertain you can afford this please call your local hospital or mental health facility for any information regarding programs of financial assistance. As to her improving after surgery, she may have reduced pain and feel better physically and emotionally, however, she is NOT coping with this disease. It still is going to take months before her body is able to adjust from this "major' surgery. It sounds as if you still are very much in love with her or you wouldn't be here trying to save your family and your relationship. I know staying in this daily fight for her mental and physical health is draining you dry. If her doctors are not willing to address the situation more aggressively I would suggest you speak with the therapist about the laws in your state in getting her care without her consent. Unfortunately, it sounds as though the doctor's hands are tied because of the law there. If you choose to continue persueing mental health care for her be prepared to have to play patient advocate in directing that care. Ask yourself if you are willing to do this. If you are not prepared for this battle you are going to have to learn how to build an emotional sheild in order to deal with effectively with the unacceptable behavior she is inflicting on the family. Again, a therapist can give you the tools you need to address this situation. She is sick and it is her mental state of mind that is causing this behavior as you have already indicated. Having said all this...she may simply be trying to push you away from her because after all...when you married her YOU didn't sign up for this illness and she may feel so alone attempting to deal with the Crohns she feels you and the kids would be better off without her. Does this sound familar to any other Crohnnies here? Her self destructive behavior could also be a pre-cursor of severe depression in which she could become "of danger to herself" which may give you a legal avenue you need to get her help. Above all else you need to at least delay the divorce proceedings by any means necessary if the custody of the children are in question with her current mental state. God Bless You and Your Family and I Pray You Find Resolution and Peace Very Soon!