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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 7/18/2009 2:17 AM (GMT 0)
Hello there
i thought it would be rude to not introduce my self first and just dive straight into my problems
SO to start off my name is Barrington , i am 18 years old and i live in scotland
i have suffered from crohns severly for the past year but have had it on and off my whole life
In the past year it has become so bad that i am irrespondant to most drugs , steroids , petasa etc
i am currently waiting to be administered more remicade , as it has been 6 months sine my last dose and my symptoms have all returned

I am having a more severe and troubling problem this time though
I am suffering from what seems to be alot of depression and anxiety
this my be a pointless vent to no avail but i would love to hear other peoples points of view and expereiences
at the moment i am becoming increasingly depressed at night about my symptoms , why it has happened to me and why my life is changing for the worst
I have heard alot that people find it hard to loose weight while they have crohns and this greatly intrigues me as the minute i have a flair up i loose 2-3 stones very quickly
I am already a small person weighing 9 stone at my heaviest so loosing 2-3 ontop of that is causing me serious physical problems and anxiety
i worry consantly about how i look and how i feel , i am considerably skinnier than all of my friends and recently my girl friend who is only a size 4 !!
its starting to depress me as i feel like i am letting her down , as when we met i was her ideal figure of a male , i had a nice body and was well built , however now i am skinny and i feel like she could do better than me , although she does not say it outright , often when we are watching programs and a well built man comes on she will say something like ' why cant you be like that anymore ' 'i miss your old body'
I am scared i am going to loose her through this prolem , though she is not shallow i think it makes her feel self concious and i think her friends give her a hard time about it

please if anyone can help me i would love it so much
even just someone to talk to msn would be great , i really have no one who understands my condition fully
please help me
Posted 7/18/2009 2:39 AM (GMT 0)
It is quite common for crohnies to have low body weights, in fact it is much more common then having high body weights in CD (fat crohnies are rare). I think maybe she might miss the early days of the relationship, doing what you use to do together, or maybe she just wishes she could help you be healthy. Maybe saying something like "I miss my strong healthy body too," might gently remind her that she is being insensitive. I do not know her, but most women have a bit of Florence Nightgale syndrome when it comes to someone they love, so if you feel safe enough in your relationship it might be a good idea to talk to her about how you feel.

On to remicade I think it might not be a good idea to go on it and off of it, given that it streghtens the likelihood of having reactions. If it helps you then please stay on it.

It is very, very, very common to get depression and anxiety due to medical illness. I hope you are not offended by the suggestion of it might help to talk to a counselor or therapist that specialies in chronic illness.
Posted 7/18/2009 2:44 AM (GMT 0)
i am not atall offended by that suggestion , i think it might actually help alot
i greatly appreciate your input ,
i will talk to her about it , im just scared i learn anything i dont want to
Posted 7/18/2009 3:02 AM (GMT 0)
Do you mind if I ask what are you scared of learning?

If it is about more serious mental illnesses, please do not worry about that because the DSM states that if someone has a medical illness their mental illness is secondary and therefore is written up as __________ due to medical condition, if it is causes  by or made considibly worse by medical illness.

Posted 7/18/2009 3:34 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Kaiden,

One of the best decisions I made was starting counseling when I was severely ill with a big flare up, and it was absolutely wonderful. Get to know yourself, it's an important step in life. I was older than you when I finally did, so I encourage you to really go for it.

I as a male also have the Adonis Complex. My freshman year of college, I wieghed 79kg and was benching 100kg. I was in GREAT shape, and then lost it all with the flare up. When you do find someone who loves you (I am truly happily married, and counseling taught me a lot about relationships) then they understand almost better than you do.

The one bit of advice I'd really stress is allow yourself to suffer. What I mean is, don't beat yourself up for being downtrodden, for feeling low. It's natural, and you'd be a little off if it didn't get to you. That doesn't mean that I advocae depression and self loathing, but just allow the reality of the suffering be. When you do get healthy, it makes it all the sweeter.

Good luck brother, I'm thinking good thoughts about you.

ExJohnson
Posted 7/18/2009 4:54 AM (GMT 0)
Welcome! you came to the right place. We can all relate and will do our best to help you through it all. Your not alone - does that help some?
Posted 7/18/2009 1:56 PM (GMT 0)
I too would second you getting into therapy. Who wouldn't be depressed or anxious with this darn disease? I have had this disease for over 33 years and about 2 years ago I developed severe anxiety. Thru therapy and the occasional Xanax I am now able to recognize the anxiety and stop it in its tracks with the help of my Xanax.

I also agree with Navy, when she says to be totally honest with your girlfriend. I think if she completely understands what you are going thru that will help her to be more understanding when you can't do all the things you want to. I am blessed with a wonderful and supportive husband, and I can't imagine living with this disease without him.

Big Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
Posted 7/18/2009 5:08 PM (GMT 0)
I'm a skinny person too, and struggle to keep weight on when diarrhea is real active. I went to therapy for a while when it was really bad and found that it helped a lot. Most of my friends don't have a chronic illness. They're sympathetic, but I don't want to talk to them about it that much, since the details are not very pleasant. Therapists take everything in stride, which I really appreciate.

I expect that you will go through different phases in your life when the CD is active and when it's not. Do whatever you can to get through the tough times, and realize that it won't always be like this.

I hope your girlfriend loves you for you and not just what you used to look like. Enjoy the good things in your life as best you can, but when things are real tough, help from a counselor can make a big difference.
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