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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 6/22/2009 1:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi all

My wife was diagnosed 4 years ago with crohns, had a resection in feb09. She became severely depressed immediately when diagnosed. She councilled , was informed to get mental help to deal with the disease but refuses to admit she is having difficulties.

She now has filed for a divorce, spends money , significant weight loss, believes everything is hers, wants to control everything. Doctor has told her she does not have to take maintenance meds.

How low do people with crohns go before doctors say you need help nono

Posted 6/22/2009 1:21 PM (GMT 0)
That's hard to say. It could be she is portraying herself in one way in front of the doctors and another in front of everyone else. Some people are in denial about this disease. They don't want to deal with the fact that they have a chronic and incurable disease. They want to eat whatever they want, and go living as though they aren't sick. If she is not properly caring for herself, one day she will get so sick she will not be able to deny it, she will seek treatment because she is either in significant pain or very very sick. At this point I am not so sure what you or any doctors can do if anything. In this case its going to be up to her or her body.

Big Hugs
Gail *Nanners*
Posted 6/22/2009 1:55 PM (GMT 0)
A am sorry to hear that your and your wife are having such a hard time. I was diagnosed 4 years ago and still have trouble accepting the illness at times.

I had counselling for a while. I was told that taking control of everything else in your life is a common thing to do when you have a crohnic illness such as crohn's. You cannot control the illness so you feel a need to control everything else.

Depression is often associtated with those with crohn's. Steriods can bring depression on too.

 

Posted 6/22/2009 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hello, I have been dealing with my crohn's 2 yrs straight. (diagnosed 10 yrs ago) It has definately taken its toll on me. I too have control issues. It is bcuz I cant control the disease so I focus on things I can. I have told my doctor MANY times that I am depressed. I feel like driving into a ditch or overdosing BUT I have a daughter that needs her mom. Im tired of being sick and people not understanding. Most give their opinion without listening. Im just starting anti-depressants and I hope they help me because I am usually a very optomistic person.  I hope this helps..
Posted 6/23/2009 4:52 PM (GMT 0)
keepinghope, I was recommended to a psychiatrist early on in my disease even though I didn't have the problems your wife has.  I agree with Nanners that your wife may be presenting herself differently to her doctor.  Unfortunately, most doctors, especially specialists like GIs, don't have the time to ask you all the questions they should ask and dig deeper into how the disease is effecting your life.  If she doesn't mention the problems to her doctor, he/she probably isn't going to realize there is a problem.  If your wife doesn't realize there is a problem either, is there another family member she really trusts/respects that can talk to her and tell her they think she may need some help? 
Posted 6/23/2009 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
There is really no way to make or force anyone to get help. As long as they are not hurting themselves, or threatening to hurt themselves, commiting crimes, and/or hurting others, then there is not alot that you can force them to do.

Reality is not as kind though; Chances are the illness will catch up to her, she will become so run down that she is getting help from emergency rooms, or via ambulance when she needs. Or she may go and see a g.i. doctor and get adequate treatment all on her own without telling you anything...
Posted 6/23/2009 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry to hear that you and your wife are having problems, I wish you all the best. I look at it this way, I could have a much worse disease like cancer,spinabifida etc. I look at the glass as half full not half empty.
Posted 7/18/2009 11:11 PM (GMT 0)

All hope is gone

the divorce is coming up, my wife refuses to seek help for depression, medication for maintenance of her crohn's, doesnt see anything wrong with her. I now have to raise my head and fight for my teenage daughters and home from this monster with head problems

sad
Posted 7/19/2009 2:35 PM (GMT 0)
I am sorry that you are going thru with the divorce. I would suggest you and your daughters at least get in for some councilling to help you all deal with this. Sending prayers to you and your daughters. I have gone thru a divorce myself with teenage daughters and I feel your pain. Be sure you take good care of you and your daughters.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*
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