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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 8/16/2009 1:57 AM (GMT 0)
if you can run, unzip, unbutton, untie and unbuckle all at the same time.

if you buy oxiclean in 5 gallon buckets.

if Mike Roe refused to clean your toilet for the Dirty Jobs program.

if you drop you ring in the toilet and Worlds Deadliest Catch wants to film you fishing it out.

if you can empty a room without yelling FIRE.

if you have ever passed gas and killed your pet parakeet.

if your cat tries to bury your drawers.

if your dog wont smell your butt.

if the fertilize factory next door has complained about the smell coming from your house.

if someone calls their dog, Spot , and you cover your behind.

if you feel faint when someone says the words, Oh crap..

Posted 8/16/2009 2:34 AM (GMT 0)
if you can make the weirdest faces trying to hold poop in.


:)
Posted 8/16/2009 3:26 AM (GMT 0)
if you enjoy poo humour
Thanks Sniper for the laugh :)
Jo
Posted 8/16/2009 4:29 AM (GMT 0)
Sniper, you must be feeling better. So glad to see your humor is back, you've certainly had more than your share of downers.
Posted 8/16/2009 7:41 AM (GMT 0)
You buy the biggest, largest square-footage package of TP. Every week.
You think about writing a book, "1001 Uses for toilet paper tubes."
Posted 8/16/2009 1:05 PM (GMT 0)
Humboldtmom, thanks, yes I'm starting to climb back up. We all have highs and lows and I am tired of this low.
Posted 8/16/2009 1:11 PM (GMT 0)
If your farts are so loud there mistaken for a sonic boom.............
Posted 8/16/2009 2:12 PM (GMT 0)
If you have bruises on your body because you fell down after realizing your legs were asleep from sitting on the toilet to long (this has happened to me a few times lol)
If your reading this post from your laptop in the bathroom right now
Posted 8/16/2009 2:54 PM (GMT 0)
your 10 year old daughter keeps say - Mom will you please stop that, when you are popping off from eating the wrong thing at lunch and you have been going off for 5 hours.
Posted 8/16/2009 4:49 PM (GMT 0)
If you're afraid every time you pass gas because you never know what will actually come out.
Posted 8/16/2009 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
lol @deadliest catch. hilarious! i think i would chalk it up as a loss!!
Posted 8/16/2009 8:49 PM (GMT 0)
If you have a dozen ways of blaming the noise on passersby, animals, your fridge, cars, boats and airplanes and the smell on low tide, a distant pulp mill, the neighbor's garbage or your pets.
Posted 8/16/2009 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
If someone in the room asks "what's that smell?" and your 5 year old grand-daughter pipes up, 'that'll be grandma"........................well really I wasn't even given the opportunity to neither comfirm or deny.
GK
Posted 8/17/2009 3:42 PM (GMT 0)
When you use a double roll of toliet paper in a day on a regular basis!
Posted 8/17/2009 4:33 PM (GMT 0)
If you have a permanent toilet ring on your bum.

Posted 8/17/2009 7:55 PM (GMT 0)
you are on a first name with everyone at the pharmacy, the lab and the endoscopy unit!
Posted 8/17/2009 8:04 PM (GMT 0)
...your friends call you the potty gps unit (can give them the nearest three bathrooms and their cleanliness rating)
...your husband (who can create his own green cloud) can only say WOW!
...you have had a Sheriff follow you to your house because you had to go, then believed you because he could detect the odor at the front door (really happened after my husbands auto accident---you should have seen his face!)

Sniper your parakeet isn't dead...he's just resting!
Posted 8/17/2009 9:29 PM (GMT 0)
A Norweigian Blue Parakeet?? Must be pining for the fjords!
Posted 8/18/2009 1:23 AM (GMT 0)
The dog farts and everyone assumes it was you.

And you know they wouldn't believe you so why bother.....

Posted 8/18/2009 6:07 AM (GMT 0)
You carry wipes, Ibuprofen, Tylenol, Aleve, a spare pair of underwear, hemmoroid cream, reading material..in your purse...
or your daughter cracks jokes about you draining your abscess, when you were little your parents screamed at you for being in the bathroom too long..and you actually got in trouble for it...you know you can never eat at Taco Bell..not even once, you crave high fiber foods...even though it gives you the runs.....you buy your toilet paper in bulk!

Post Edited By Moderator (Nanners) : 8/19/2009 1:21:05 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 8/18/2009 6:12 AM (GMT 0)
Everybody likes some good poo humor :)..Thanks for that
Posted 8/18/2009 8:28 AM (GMT 0)
you can describe your poop with colorfull verbiage,,, playdoh,ghost, ground glass,razor blade, etc..
Posted 8/18/2009 12:18 PM (GMT 0)
lol@ firstname basis at the pharmacy
Posted 8/19/2009 9:17 AM (GMT 0)
Sniper, i may have figured out why you have the gas so much! did you buy a Hyundai? you get gas with those...;o)...
Posted 8/19/2009 11:42 AM (GMT 0)
But...can sniper charge 2.79 a gallon for his gas????????????????????
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