Thank Goodness for supportive loving Partner/spouse

You know Doc2007 I have the most wonderful spouse myself. I don't know how I could ever thank him for all he does for me, I just make sure to let him know that I love him and appreciate him as much as I can. I try when feeling well enough to do little things for him too.

You are so right that a supportive spouse makes all the difference in the world. I am glad that you too have someone who makes everything good in your world.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*

This may sound strange but I live with my EX-wife and she is incredibly patient and understanding with my conditions. She goes with me to most of my appointments and infusions too. We are best of friends even though we couldn't make it work in a relationship.

My fiance works a full time job, and goes in overtime when he's been approved for it just to help make ends meet. He drives me to my appointments, picks up my prescriptions when I'm not able, helps me with groceries, and cooks for me when I just don't have the strength. He's been a constant source of positivity on the days where I feel so worthless I simply want to give up on life. I truly feel that I would be dead without him.

How do I "make it up" to someone like this? I really feel as if I never could, but I make every effort to let him know how grateful I am, how much I love and adore him. I may not have the strength to leave my apartment for longer than two hours (if I'm lucky), but as long as I'm here near a restroom and a bed to rest on every so often, then I make sure our living area is clean, that he has a meal to fill him, and someone always eagerly awaiting his return home. He has his favorite dinners and desserts so I get these on the table for him whenever I can. I spend time doing the things that he wants to do even if I don't necessarily like it because I feel the need to make him happy when he's spent so much time doing things he doesn't want to in order to make sure I'm simply okay.

Even so, I don't always get some of the basics done like dishes or laundry, and he's constantly helping with those when I simply cannot do them. We both work hard enough to make it a happy and egalitarian (for lack of a better word) relationship. We both pull our own weight according to our abilities, but what he gives is something I've never seen in anyone aside from my mother. He really is a saint to me :)

Truth be told, I've never felt so loved, and I've never loved so much.

Apologies if that's sappy, but I cannot speak highly enough of him. He has his flaws, and of course he makes me angry just like any person will in any human relationship. But the good far outweighs the bad. Letting him go would be the stupidest decision I could ever make.

Doc, I'm really glad to know you have someone like that! I've always found it amazing and wonderful that there are men out there who truly do accept a woman's children in spite of the fact that they are not her own. My stepad did that with my siblings and I, and I cannot tell you how grateful I am as the child. I imagine both you and my mother really needed someone like that...

And yes!! It's nice to have someone who doesn't guilt you into walking around when you simply can't. It's so difficult, and I've had friends who simply stop talking to me because they can't handle someone who gets tired like this. But the men we know? Absolutely wonderful :) I really am glad to read these posts. I feel very sad sometimes because of the horrible way autoimmune patients are treated by potential significant others, and sickness is the only cause. I can understand someone's trepidation at becoming involved with someone who will be ill for the rest of their lives, but they will never understand the beauty that comes from enduring such hardship. It's something rare which few normal people possess it seems like...I don't say that with arrogance either since I know I'm much lower on the chain than many people concerning admirable attributes gained from adversity, but I can still tell the difference between myself and those who seem not to have an ounce of selflessness. Thank goodness for wonderful partners!

Ohhh, and Nanners, correct me if I'm wrong but he makes you delicious Mexican cuisine! I do miss that...He sounds like a sweetheart :)

I don't know what I would do without my partner of 3 years. It was only about 4 months into our relationship when I got sick, but he stuck with me and he's been there for me ever since. We've been living together for the past 2 years and I've been flaring for more of that time than not. He brings me gatorade and tea in bed when I'm feeling bad, drives me to the hospital and stays with me in the ER when i'm feeling really bad, takes me to countless doctors appointments, and stays in with me watching movies while all our friends are out at parties or bars. All of this despite the fact that we're both in college and it means he doesn't get to lead anything like the life of a normal 22 year old college student. I was in the hospital repeatedly for obstructions this fall and even though he had school work and is trying to write his senior thesis he was there every single day that I was, and came to all of my appointments once I was released. He's so great about it too, and always tells me that I shouldn't feel like a burden. He says that this is just what people do for the people that they love. He really is an amazing person and I don't know many other 22 year old guys who would do what he's done.

There's really nothing I can do to make it even, because I know he's sacrificed so much to be with me. I just try to make sure he knows how much I appreciate him by telling him how grateful I am and how much I love him, by giving him lots of hugs and kisses all the time, by cooking for him when I'm feeling up to it. This fall he had mono and it luckily came during a period when I was healthy, so I took extra good care of him, made homemade soup, brought him everything he needed so he didn't have to get out of bed, etc. I just try to do what ever little things I can to make him always feel loved and so he knows that I'm never taking him for granted.

my hubby is truly a wonderful man. He's been with me every step of the way. through the passing of our first daughter just over a year ago, to being diagnosed with UC a month after, being so sick sometimes i could barely go to the bathroom, the birth of our 2nd daughter a few months ago, taking care of her at night because it hurts for me to get up, and now he's been with me through my first week of being dx with Crohn's Colitis. He's even being understanding with not being too intimate lately. He is amazing. Even though I do get grumpy with him frequently, he is trying. I love him so much! I will try to help him out when needed or not. I try to keep a clean house, have dinner ready, and laundry done, but even if it doesn't get done he understands.

My wife has been there through out our relationship and I love her for that.  I was Dx'ed when I was 15 and met her in College.  She has seen me at my best..no meds and flares, to total meltdown and never getting off the toilet.  She is always there to comfort me and help me when needed.  She has even decided to learn more about the disease, coming with me to symposiums.  She never ran away when I had an "accident" but instead will bring me a change of clothes. 

If we are out and I don't feel well, she will let us go home.  She is ever so patient with me and never demands anything.  I can't ever imagine finding anyone else like her..but of course reading all these posts there are a lot like her.  That is a good thing.  I wish more people were loving, caring and knowledgable. 

Your posts bring tears to my eyes!!!  It's awesome that you have such a strong support system..  My Ex currently lives with me and my daughters also, but he doesn't "get it" at all!  My family is just as confused by this disease as he is and they don't even try to get it... I'm not complaining about my life, since I know others have it far worse.  It gives me hope that someday I will find that unconditional love and support that you all have!!!

Angela