struggling

A huge hug to you.

Do you think you could tell us more about what is upsetting you most, Charlee? Is it pain? Is it diarrhoea? Is it nervousness about starting Imuran?

You mentioned loneliness: is this because diarrhoea is confining you to your house? Or are you feeling different from other people, and finding it harder to relate to them?

Please do tell us more...

We care.

Ivy.

I was worried I'd overstated my concern and you stayed away because of it. See how great a mind reader I am? I'm glad to hear thats not the case. But I' still worried about you. I'm glad your putting your feelings out for us to maybe help! That takes courage. What's with the sweating I thought the buscopan stopped it? I started it yesterday afternoon and had my first sweat free night in years! Was sweating today after a coffee and a meal, trying to go on 2 doses a day instead of 3. Took the 3rd dose and am so far sweat free again. Well not totally, just a little going on not like the usual lots. Tomorrow I'm looking forward to after a shower and not needing another 20 minutes later cause I can't dry off.

I agree with Grandpato2 about the prednisone being a huge part of how you are feeling. Whenever i am on prednisone I am a completely different person due to the mood swings, moon face, lack of sleep, racing heart, sweats, and the shaking hands. Prednisone and I have a love hate relationship. Things will begin to feel a little more normal as time passes with this disease and you learn your abilities and limitations. Right now every thing is so new and you are probably still having a hard time wrapping your mind around thought of Crohn's disease and lifelong illness. You probably want to learn everything that you can just to answer the questions that you family and friends have. I am sure that you are probably a little bit in denial at times and wish that you could just close your eyes and go back to the time before the first symptoms arose. All of these things are completely normal and ok to have. These are emotions that everyone of us here have gone through or are going through at some time and you too will overcome them.
I noticed that you said that you did not come around because you were crying and screaming due to the frustrations of the disease and the financial stress that comes with it. In the future, this is precisely the time that you need this website the most because you need to be able to vent to people that know from experience exactly what you are going through. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS. Those are words that you need to understand and never ever forget. No matter the problems, the pain, the illness, the anger, the happiness, and the laughter we are here and will always be grateful to hear you speak.(well write, but you get my point.) When times are the hardest come on here and read some posts to see if there are answers for you or just another one of sniper's posts to make you laugh. Come on here and instead of running away and segregating yourself from others, approach the issue head on and slay the giant. I truly believe that we are not given trials that we can not overcome and we are the only ones holding ourselves back from seeing our inner strengths. I am sure that you have seen the Disney film Lion king, and you may be familiar with the phrase" Hakuna matata" which means no worries for the rest of your days. (You all will have that song in your heads all day now) Everytime things start to get hard for me I just think those 2 words and realize that nothing is worth hurting over or worrying over enough to make me sicker and that I need to use all the resource that are at my dispense to keeping going stronger. You will be ok and you ARE going to make it and live a great life if you stay positive. Attitude is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react to it.

OK. As far as the sweating goes, you might find that it's because of the pred. I always seem to perspire a *lot* more when I am on steroids. That said, it does sound like you are having an unusually hard time of it.

Have you tried putting barrier cream on your hands? It's a long shot, but it might help. Also, you can get some stuff with a name something like "liquid band aids" that you can put on your cuts and help with the stinging and healing. You might find that beneficial.

Bloating: fennel seed tea or dill seed tea may help, as may an over the counter med called "De-Gas". As always, please check with your doc before trying OTC remedies, as any OTC things have the potential to interact with your meds and make you sicker... but my feeling is that these should be pretty safe for you.

To be honest, Charlee, I'm thinking that you may benefit from having someone to talk to face-to-face as you adjust to your symptoms and diagnosis. This might be a good thing to discuss with your gp. In some (most? all?) states you may have access to a certain number of free counselling sessions. I really do think it might be helpful for you to really discuss your feelings in-depth with a professional person, just to get them out of your system. What you are feeling is completely normal, and most (I'm guessing all) of us have gone through similar emotions after diagnosis, but that doesn't make it much easier for *you*, and I really do think that you need someone in your real life to let you know that you *are* ok and that it is all right, normal and proper for you to be thinking and feeling what you are.

Please talk to your gp if you possibly can - best to deal with these feelings as soon as they arise, instead of allowing them to fester.

Housework - don't be surprised if you find that you need to develop a new strategy for doing housework now that you have these symptoms. Why not start a new "housework" thread and then we can swap ideas, techniques and strategies and (hopefully) help you think of some new & different ways of doing things?

Lastly, PLEASE don't be afraid to ask for help there. You can ask your doctor to sign you on for home help / meals on wheels / whatever from the Council: there might be a waiting list for you to get that help, but there's no shame in getting assistance if you're finding things hard there. This is what you pay your taxes and rates for, and you're entitled to a bit of help now that you're struggling.

Keep hanging in there. I agree with the others: your thoughts and emotions can be completely screwy while on steroids so always remember that your feelings, while always valid, may be a little skewed by meds. I hope and expect that things will seem easier once you get on a lower dose and more stable medically.

All the very best,

Ivy.

Charlie, ask your doc about anti-anxiety med. Mine put me on Lorazepam and it's made all the difference.....35 years with this disease and suddenly the whole situation started to get to me 4 years ago. Also, your med list has no actual "crohns" med on it. Whenever I was put on prednisone, it was as a stop gap while waiting for another drug to kick in but I don't see any other actual crohn medication on your list.

Can someone explain the probiotic thing to me? Why would you want to strengthen your immune system when an overactive immune system is the problem in the first place.

Charlee don't give up on the buscopan too quickly talk to the Dr. about different doses. Adult dose may be increased if required up to to 20mg 4 times daily (max 80mg/day). Even if you stay with 10mg/3 timesa day. Try not using it during the day and 10 mg at night just might stop the night sweats. If Dr. allows a higher dose and it dosen't work try different ways to see if you get relief at night. I've had 2 nights ok so far but days aren't as good mostly because I add heat, ie. coffee showers and hot meals. The spontaneous no reason for it sweats seem to be gone. We need sometimes to think outside the box to see how meds affect us but always stay with your prescribed doses.