Am I crazy? Random thoughts and questions

Hi, It's been awhile since I posted. My main reason for posting is I wanted to ask a question about Gastrointerologist. I have had 3 since being diagnosed 11 years ago with Crohn's. This last one that I am seeing has never put me on the table to examine me. The others have pushed on my tummy and listened for "sounds", but this one has me sit in a chair opposite him and just talks. He has only ran one test on me, a small bowl follow through (I think that is what it is called). He is finally ordering a colonoscopy because on my last visit I told him I have having blood in my stool (more so than usual). I was on Humira for 6 months before my insurance plan changed and my deductible changed and now I can't afford it. He is trying to figure out what medicine to put me on (that I can afford).
Right now I am achy all over (mostly in my back)- My symptoms have changed since first being diagnosed with this disease. I still get the big D and some cramping, but mostly now I have the trapped gas (which is the worst)- constipation and the blood in the stool. The blood could very well be from hemorrhoids, but I don't know. I'm telling you, nothing is consistent with me and this disease...as I'm typing this I am thinking "well this symptom happens sometimes, but not always and this symptom has happened but not since"...it makes it really hard to try and explain things.
When I had the small bowl follow through test, the doc that did it and the nurse both told me that the part of the intestine did not look good...but my doc just said "well ok, I don't think it's active, I think you aren't eating correctly and that is what is causing problems".."let's start you on Humira".
It just didn't make sense to me, but then again I didn't want surgery and I said ok and my symptoms haven't gotten worse. I'm just afraid that something major will happen one day.

Thanks for listening, sometimes it just helps getting things off your chest with people that "get it"...

def. understand your frustration. Listen to your body:) you aren't alone.

I would go for a second opinion if there's another GI in your area. For the radiologist and xray tech to comment that things don't look good, then your doctor to tell you they don't think your disease is active doesn't make sense at all. Also, your doctor should be pushing on your stomach and listening to it, as well as listening to your account of how things have been going.

I need to go to bed now, but I can relate to quite a bit of this post. I've had Crohn's for 10 years and my symptoms changed (about 15 months ago) from chronic diarrhoea without pain to less frequent diarrhoea, with more pain and bloating. It often feels like food is clogging up my intestines.

I'm telling you, nothing is consistent with me and this disease...as I'm typing this I am thinking "well this symptom happens sometimes, but not always and this symptom has happened but not since"...it makes it really hard to try and explain things.

Yeah, I get that too. There's a few constants, but not very many. My symptoms have chopped and changed, or waxed and waned, by a fair amount. I'm not exactly the same as I was a few months ago, nor a year ago.

Anyway, good luck with the colonoscopy. It doesn't sound like it will be a clean one unfortunately, but it's better to know what's going on than not to know. Well, usually :-/