I feel like I might die. But let me explain.
If anyone remembers my sad and weary and bleak posts from over the summer, I was ridiculously sick. We all know how that feels. Where your body is so weak you can barely walk. That was the low point. When I was sitting down on the floor and was too weak to get up. 6MP failed, tried Humira, which failed as well. Flash forward to October, tried Remicade (again, was on it years ago) and woohoo! I'm normal again! Sick Sara was gone! Yay!
But anyways, here is my current predicament. Under NY's Under 30 law, I was able to go on my father's insurance. (I'm 26) (And I was on Healthy NY which was only 300 a month but doesnt cover the fancy drugs like Remicade but then I switched to my dad's.) My dad keeps on complaining because it's costing him 600 a month to have me on. His insurance renewal is up in March, and he said he was going to try to find a cheaper insurance for me. So he's not completely abandoning me, he just doesn't want to pay so much. Trouble is, when I was on a cheaper insurance before, IE Healthy NY, it didnt cover Humira, so obviously it wont cover Remicade.
My mom is so worried. I hate worrying her. I can't go on her insurance, they don't take people my age. And my stepdad is on Medicare. I hate giving her a reason to be mad at my dad. But I can see my dad's pov. 600 sure does sound like a lot extra to have to pay for me. And I mean, I'm 26, not 18, so I could understand him wanting me to pay my own way already and have a job that has benefits (dispite that whole crappy economy we're in, and my good-for-nothing masters in teaching, which, if you live in NY, you've heard in the news how they're trying to lay off over 6000 teachers. So how is a newbie like me going to have a chance with all these experiences laid off teachers?)
I was thinking Medicaid, but my mom said she looked that up and my doc won't accept it, but it will pay for Remi eventually though you have to pay out of pocket first for some reason or another. And remi is 2500 isn't it?
It kind of makes you wonder life choices. If I wasn't so ambitious, and didn't go to grad school, I may have had a chance getting a job right out of undergrad since it was right before the economy crashed.
I should be really freaking out. But I'm eerily calm. I've been feeling so guilty lately anyway for how much my mom and stepdad and even my dad pays for me. I'm 26. They shouldn't be paying so much. I'm by no means suicidal or depressed, I quite enjoy my life. But at the same time, I have so so much darn guilt that my parents pay so much for me at this age...I should be caring for them, not the other way around!
I just think to who I was over the summer, and that's not me. Sick and sad. Horrible. Pain yes, but just the pain and discomfort wipes away your personality. (I assure you, dispite my sarcasm, and somewhat morbid post, I am usually quite the ray of sunshine!) I couldn't do anything. I just sat in my chair all day and all night. I wonder how long until death would come, when your body is rejecting all food and nutrients and your body is so weak. I guess this sounds a little morbid and melodramatic. I just don't want to fight anymore. My mom tells me I need to tell my dad to keep me on his insurance. That is he take me off I might as well be handing him a gun to shoot me with 'cause that's essentially what he's doing. I do feel bad she's so worried and upset about all of this.
Well with all this babbling I almost forgot the point of this post, silly me. I suppose if anyone has advice for insurance that covers remicade that would be greatly appreciated. I don't know how much advice you can even give me because I feel like insurance is different from state to state. But I figured you guys always bust out awesome advice, so figured I would ask.
Thanks! :)