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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 3/24/2011 1:19 AM (GMT 0)

I am at the point where i dont know what to do...  I finally made it back to work almost after 2years of trying to recover from surgery that went wrong.  I make it back then 1st week I have developed anal fissures.  I am allergic to all biological and immune suppersion meds so my options are surgery only.  I have tried about everything to get back and live a productive life but when it seems that I finally am headed in the right direction something else pops up and sends me back.  When I was off work my wife (now ex) decided she couldnt handle a sick husband and we started the whole divorce process, oh yeah we have a 2.5 year old daughter.  Becasue of this illness i have missed most of my daughters growing up so far and lost a wife.  I am trying to fix my life and get back to being what is most important in my life and that is being a father to my daughter.  This illness has caused me to miss sooo much time with my daughter which tears me up inside and makes me feel like a bad father.  I know that it is not my fault but I have no one to blame but myself.  I am in fear that I may soon be forced to quit my job becasue of all my issues.  I just feel so lost everyday and when i get sick and cant make it to see my daughter or make it to work i feel like im letting everyone down.  I just dont know what to do anymore....

Anyway I go to the surgeon tomorrow to get the results of my MRI of my bottom and am hopeful for the best.  Thank you for listening/reading my problems.  Any feedback would be great. 

Best Wishes and health to all of you!!!

Posted 3/24/2011 6:50 AM (GMT 0)
Brother, I'm so sorry. Suffering is the greatest mystery there is in this world, and Crohn's is about the unluckiest disease to get. Unknown, expensive, debilitating and painful. Emotionally, I'm right there with you. My marriage is strained and her family just thinks I'm lazy for not getting a job, so I got one waiting tables and that made me sick. I'm now waiting for insurance to kick in so I can go see my surgeon and possibly have a fifth surgery on my anus. Pretty soon, maybe even this time, he's going to recommend removing my rectum, and as a thirty year old, I'm just not ready for that.

I'm starting counseling on Monday. A church near me offers it free if you don't make over a certain income, and I think being emotionally well is a huge part of our treaemt and therapy.

Hang in there man, hope to talk to you soon.
Posted 3/24/2011 8:12 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Cub Fan,

So sorry you are not feeling well and are struggling.

My Mom had crohns while I was growing up and was very sick. There were times when she couldn't do stuff for me and there was a strain on my family, money worries and I worried that she might die. She never gave up and I always knew that she loved us very much. She has always been my biggest hero for what she has had the strength to overcome. Now that I have crohns I understand even more fully what she must have gone through, and my admiration is even greater. I just wanted to share that I never thought less of my mom because she was sick. I'm sure that your daughter will appreciate you in a similar way. Take care,
Betty
Posted 3/24/2011 11:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Cub Fan,

I hope that you can resolve your fissures soon. I just wanted to say that your daughter is lucky to have a dad like you. With your focus on being a good dad, I am sure that you can build a wonderful relationship with her, even if her first 2 years with you weren't what you wanted.

{{{{HUGS}}}}
Posted 3/24/2011 1:46 PM (GMT 0)
(((CUBAFAN))) I am so sorry you are suffering so. Hang in there, better days are ahead. And I too am sure your little one knows you love her.
Posted 3/24/2011 2:01 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you all for the replies. I know my daughter loves me and cares for me I am not worried about that, it is all the time I miss because I am sick. I just don't know what to do.... I have been in therapy for about 2.5 years but need to find a new doc. To talk too. Emotional health is.vital to feeling betterand im trying to improve.that. I guess that im just tired of dealing with this disease, as many of us are, and trying to move forward only to get thrown back farther than I was. Maybe I just need to vent....thanks for reading. Good luck. And great health to you all!
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