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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 4/29/2011 9:53 PM (GMT 0)
The state has cut back our food assistance apprently they consider 857 a month more that what it should take to have a family of 3 able to pay bills and eat (I get 743 on top of that but they only count the 857 since they dont count ssd or ssi).  Therefore we are alloted between the 2 of us 300 a month to live on for food.  My fiance is a type 2 Diabetic (totally different diet than I since I am mainly on the white diet) Then his son is going to be 16 (he eats between 1 and 2 pounds of beef in 1 sitting on average not inclusing sides etc) then there is me.  currently I am flaring and eating once a day pretty much since if I eat more than that there wont be enough food to go around.  Also on weekends and days off from school including the summer his 13 year ols son is here (we dont get aid for him).  we get no child support from his ex etc either.  In the last month alone I lost 5 pounds I try to hint that that is over a serving size to my step son but he doesnt get it...he will eat 5 servings of something and still keep going (he is not overweight but he needs to understand what we are alloted per month.

I dont know what to do when liket his it doesnt matter much since what I eat doesnt stay with me long therefore I tend to eat less so I hurt less etc...  with the summer coming and them cutting even more I dont know what to do...we were going to get married but we are now getting 1k a month less total since SSI said my fiance's VA benefits are too much they cut his ssi and that was what cut state aid for cash and food. If we get married even tho we have total opposite diets they claim we share the same meals etc

what do I do I need help

Posted 4/29/2011 10:22 PM (GMT 0)
I don't really know what to suggest except with the son instead of giving him the 1-2lbs of beef at each sitting cut this down and increase the cheaper veggies. Not an ideal solution as teenagers seem to have a built in food detector and will sniff it out wherever you hide it. With regard to the no maintainence from ex-wife if she is working can they not take it from her paycheck or if she is on benefits they should be able to take some of these to pay for her son, that has happened in UK before now.

Some of my friends in similar situation, no maintainence as ex has gone off radar and because they try to work they get penalised on benefits so get less than if they stayed at home. Their top tips are cut all coupons from papers/magazines etc and use them, buy most of the shopping in places like aldi/lidl (not sure if you have them in states) where goods are less known brands, bulk buy pasta/rice/potatoes etc.

Know that's not a huge help and I really feel for anyone struggling to get food on the table through no fault of their own. Hope you can find a solution that works out for you.
Posted 4/29/2011 11:43 PM (GMT 0)
We live on the Walmart 10 lb bag of chicken leg quarters for $6.. If it were not for that we would go meatless lots! Check it out.. Chicken spagetti, Chicken soup, Chicken and dumplings, Chicken and rice, Baked Chicken, Chicken fricasee, Chicken salad, ... Glad that we both like chicken because we wouldnt have meat without the Walmart $6 deal!
Sorry its such a struggle ..Maybe it would help is you explained it to the boy.
Good Luck
Posted 4/30/2011 12:37 AM (GMT 0)
I'm confused. Do you and your fiancee "each" get assistance or just you? Is the government treating you as if you were already married, thereby lowering the amount? Not the best case scenario, but if it's really that bad, was wondering if the 16 year old could get a part time job this summer to help out. I think I started working when I was 15..., one lower income family of 6. And, I'm not meaning to be rude by suggesting it. Just trying to be practical. You need to eat!! Best to you....
Posted 4/30/2011 2:33 AM (GMT 0)
At the moment we each are seperate yes he gets 200 a month and i get 140 however when we get married they will consider it one...he is applying for jobs but so far getting nothing he will be 16 in a month that is when he is able to start working yet he needs a place he can walk to as he doesnt have even his permit yet. At the moment they pay my medicare deductables and i am on a low income prescreiption plan they help pay my copays instead of having to pay over 5k so far this year i have paid 50 that would remain but the food issuue would go downbut i may be considered disabled on his VA but that only gives 68 more per month atm we are trying to figure out how to pay may bills 1k less per month now...wasnt like our finances were cake before they sure are not now
Posted 4/30/2011 3:47 AM (GMT 0)
It's a dilemma for sure. What did you do for work before you had to go on assistance? I'm trying to think if you could use your skills for another kind of job. I know when I was between jobs, I took in kids for childcare to help make ends meet. We had 2 young kids and my husband was only earning 20,000/year at the time, paying $900/month rent. Of course, we never ate out, nor had cell phones, nor went on vacations, had one car, bought groceries bulk, didn't buy the latest gadgets, etc. Will you eventually be able to work outside the home? I'm not aware of your condition. It must be frustrating to have to rely on the gov't when even that is not a sure thing these days. Have you looked into asking the Salvation Army, or any food banks for short term help?
Posted 4/30/2011 3:59 AM (GMT 0)
We both are disabled he on VA he was injured while in the gulf war in 91...I am on SSD for my CD. Prior to this I was a vet tech and I have a degree in theater design... Been putting ads on Craigs list to try to get sewing jobs but those who contact me after I respod to them I get no further contacts we only have cell phones beig my whole family is 3000 miles away and I call them daily so I did just cut my plan to make it cheaper etc
Posted 4/30/2011 1:43 PM (GMT 0)
God bless the both of you. Can't believe your fiancee has no greater support from his disability serving in the war. Are you affiliated with a church or support group? We often don't realize the hurting people in our own community, do we? I hope something comes up for you, or at least you feel better to allow more choices in the future.
Posted 4/30/2011 1:56 PM (GMT 0)
Shot in the dark here...

No idea what his disability is so this may very well be completely useless, but have you ever looked into the Wounded Warrior Project? They help wounded/disabled vets with job training, mostly computer related. In many cases they're able to train vets and help them find employment, often working out of the house.

Also, I know you can earn a certain amount without it effecting your SSI. There are a growing number of companies out there who hire phone customer service reps who work only from home. I don't know what the amount is you can earn without it touching your SSI, but I think it's something like 1K/month (don't go by me, that's just a guess)?

Again, I don't really know your situation so if any of this is impossible then my apologies.
Posted 4/30/2011 2:11 PM (GMT 0)
This sounds like a horrible situation for you - and something you should really not have to worry about whilst trying to cope with illness. I really hope that one of the suggestions above will provide you with help, and whilst I can't offer much advice I promise you will be in my thoughts.

The only idea I can put forth, is that if you are already needing to cook separately for yourself and your partner (&son) - then maybe think about cooking more legume based dishes. Whilst foods like beans may be a total no go for IBD sufferers, they are very tasty, filling and nutritious - in fact I believe they are supposed to be a very good source of protein for those with diabetes, and certainly in Europe they are available very -very- cheaply! I expect it is the same in America although I can't guarantee. It doesn't have to be for every meal by any means, but just replacing a few of their meat-based dinners with bean dishes would probably help out financially.
Posted 4/30/2011 3:05 PM (GMT 0)
I make 893 from disability and I get food assistance or EBT whatever you want to call it. But here in Virginia anyway they do count your disability and because of that I get 16 dollars a month...thats 4 dollars a week. How do they expect you to eat with 4 dollars a week? well they don't its meant to supplement your income so you can get more. Lame yes
Posted 4/30/2011 3:18 PM (GMT 0)
How about visiting food pantrys. You know where they give you some food each month, and you volunteer a few hours each month in exchange. It will at least help to supplement your food budget. Also, you need to get your fiance to explain to "his" son the financial difficulties you are all experiencing and he is going to have to sacrifice some too. That kid doesn't need to eat that much. If everyone is sacrificing, then he is going to have to too. Good luck!
Posted 4/30/2011 6:08 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks all,

as far as his disability a 200 pound bomb rack fell onto his back while overseas causing severe back issues and from which he now has Diabetes since he can hardly get around he cannot sit stand lay down for long periods of time. He has 3 degrees in computer work and was trying to do some jobs on the side etc but even that is lessening with the economy. He cant do it much anymore anyway he was a network engineer intially for IBM with his diabetes he has neuropathy now in his feet and hands and cant feel them and severe carpal tunnel from his years as a pc worker to the point the VA told him stop using a PC or you might get to the point even surgery wont help

we just cant seem to get a break. we were doing well even when some of his side work dropped off its made us tighten our financial belts some but now its crazy...we had planned to get married in June we are still keeping all scheduled for now to see how may pans out we may have to hold off though until his eldest is 18 and we move back in with my grandfather in RI that way we will be rent free and things will be a bit easier.
Posted 4/30/2011 10:23 PM (GMT 0)
This may be a silly question, when you had your ileostomy did you get any relief from the CD symptoms? I only ask this as it is obviously causing you major problems at the moment and know it isn't everyone's choice but wondered it the ileo made things easier for you.

Sorry of that sounds like a stupid question.
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