HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Addressing rude assistant with doctor

Support Forums
>
Crohn's Disease
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 5/12/2011 8:03 PM (GMT 0)
I love my doctor and have been his patient for years. He's almost so nice he's a push over and in the past year or so expanded his practice and hired a tough assistant. The assistant is the gatekeeper for any contact with him other than communication during an appointment. Of course, you have to go through her to get an urgent appointment. She's become very rude to me, refused to return my calls, and refused to put me on the list for an urgent appointment (a nurse later told me there were slots available but I wasn't on the list to get them). I haven't pushed it since I don't have anything urgent ahead of my next appointment. Still, I want to address the issue with my doctor and explain that if this is how his practice will be in the future I may leave despite having great confidence in him. How would you handle this?

If it matters, what pushed things over the edge was her treatment of me during my current flare. Tests were ordered during an office visit this winter. I scheduled the tests, but cancelled, then rescheduled them when my father became ill and passed away. When things got worse and I needed an urgent appointment, but hadn't had the tests yet she said she couldn't get me an appointment and that it was essentially my fault because I should have had the tests done earlier. After that she did not return a single call from me and would not put me on the list for an earlier appointment. I never got the chance to explain why I didn't do the tests right away, but it really shouldn't matter.
Posted 5/12/2011 8:16 PM (GMT 0)
I would bring this to the doctors attention when you see him next. I think lots of times the doctors are not aware that their desk dragons are so rude to their patients. Hugs and sorry you are having to deal with that evil thing!
Posted 5/12/2011 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with Nanners! I'm sick and tired of uppity nurses!!!!!
Posted 5/12/2011 9:34 PM (GMT 0)
In your sweetest tone: "Look, I'm really sorry to have to bring this up with you. But I've had some very rough experiences with your new assistant. I know that she's just trying to protect you and your schedule, but she's been very brusque and unhelpful to me. On several occasions, she hasn't returned my phone calls, and she's refused to schedule me for an appointment when I really needed one. Maybe I've been catching her at a bad time--but if she treats other patients the way she's been treating me, it may wind up affecting your practice. I love and respect you, and I'd be very upset if I had to look for someone else because of someone on your staff."

It happened to me. The fact that the doctor wouldn't do a thing about it helped to confirm my rapidly falling opinion of her. The final straw was when--after being barred from seeing her innumerable times by her office manager--I sent her a desperate letter, telling her that I'd just been sent to the colorectal surgeon, who'd discovered that I had a perianal abscess and fistula, and that I had been trying to see her because I was really scared. Her total response, delivered over the phone: "Oh, don't be scared. You have such a great attitude--you'll be fine!"

I found someone much, much better and switched doctors almost immediately.
Posted 5/12/2011 11:43 PM (GMT 0)
any rudeness in the health care profession is unaceptable whether its an nurse, receptionist or doctor......we go to see doctors because we are very ill and pay these folks lots of money. the least they can do is be polite, listen and most of all be understanding to ours and any one elses condition......
Posted 5/12/2011 11:49 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with everyone. In fact, this happened to me also a few years ago. When I finally got the courage to mention it to the doctor, he was appalled. He said that I was not the first to complain about her, and since she was the "face of the office" (She answered the phones and made appointments), she had to be friendly and helpful. She was let go soon after that.

He told me that you should ALWAYS tell your doctor if any of the office staff does not treat you well. If the doctor shows no sympathy, I would switch doctors. This disease is bad enough without dealing with petty, nasty people!!

OK off my soap box :-)

Sudsmom
Posted 5/12/2011 11:54 PM (GMT 0)
That's surprising that your doctor's assistant would be so horrible. He probably doesn't even know how she's treating his patients. Unfortunately, people like that can be extremely nice/sweet to the doctor and efficient at her job. So he probably doesn't even know what she's doing...

I'd discuss what's going on with him next time you see him. He has a right to know and if supports the behavior then something is really, really wrong with their system.

I'd also recommend writing down times/dates that you call so that if you leave messages that go unreturned, you can show how many times that it's taking to get through to you.

As far as I know, if you're a patient of someone, they're supposed to deal with your emergencies. Ethically and legally. If your doctor doesn't know what's going on, it's not an excuse. It's his license/career that can have problems if something happens to you...but that's always been my impression. Maybe it's different in the real world....

If she still gives you a hard time, you might want to look at switching doctors and have an appointment to tell him exactly what and why.

Hope you feel better...
Posted 5/13/2011 12:29 AM (GMT 0)
Also, if you love your doctor and are still thinking of leaving, then that's a pretty good indication that lots of other patients, who feel less attached to your doctor, are likely to have left already, or to be thinking about it.

Just from a business and financial survival standpoint, he needs to know.
Posted 5/13/2011 3:29 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks all. I know I need to say something. I like the script nawlinscate provided. Hopefully I can get something close to that out.
Posted 5/13/2011 4:04 AM (GMT 0)
If it helps, your opinion is unlikely to be new to your doctor.

On the odd occasion I've had to do this, the person in charge has already been aware of the problem, and is often grateful for extra negative feedback, because it gives them the extra evidence they need to do something about it.

Ivy.
Posted 5/13/2011 2:46 PM (GMT 0)
I think that may be the case Ivy. I had a technician from one of my tests comment, without knowing my feelings, that my doctor was the nicest, but his assistant ...
Posted 5/13/2011 3:22 PM (GMT 0)
I'm with nawlinscate. Just love that southern sweet talk backed up with a will of iron.
Posted 5/13/2011 3:24 PM (GMT 0)
they are useless. don't let them stress you out or rattle you. and i would say no. it is not worth dumping your DR. for unchartered waters over a nutso secretary making minimum wage. i also had a secretary who needed a major attitude check last time i went to see one of my GIs, and i been with the GI since Dec 08'.

maybe bring her some cookies next time?
Posted 5/13/2011 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
And, lace them cookies with nice pills .
Posted 5/13/2011 8:54 PM (GMT 0)
The cookies thing is a possibility, but only a remote one. You could try approaching her directly and sweetly, explaining that you hope that she doesn't think of you as a pest, that you've been this doctor's patient for eons and only call him when you really need some help, and that you hope that you and she can have a good relationship. But I doubt if it's worth the effort. Given how rude and inconsiderate she's been, I'd bet good money that she'll interrupt you in mid-speech and say something belittling. The only reason to discuss it with her first would be if you thought you could really make a difference in her attitude, both toward you and toward everybody else. And I really doubt that it would work.
Posted 5/13/2011 9:05 PM (GMT 0)
The crazy part is you never actually meet her. She's just his assistant. The receptionist is wonderful, the nurses are wonderful, the doctor is wonderful. I did once send them caramel corn as a cheeky thank you. I think only Sniper's happy pills stand a chance with improving her treatment of patients.
Posted 5/14/2011 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
I'd send him a personal note with your experiences. He needs to hear it! Mark it personal on the envelope and drop it off yourself. :)
Posted 5/14/2011 12:44 AM (GMT 0)
Having worked in a doctor's office and a hospital, I'd advise against a written note. It may be marked 'Personal,' but it's still possible she'll open it and read it. If you decide to send a note, make sure that you've made and kept a copy--so that you can show it to your doctor during your next appointment, in case she's never forwarded it to him. A note that she sees also gives her advance warning, and she can prepare an argument against you in advance. Much better to talk to him one-on-one, especially since he knows you well.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply