Posted 7/13/2011 2:20 PM (GMT 0)
Joe,
I feel for you -- it's a very hard decision, and no one can make it for you. I went through a similar list of drugs -- got one relatively good year from remicade, and cimzia and humira didn't work for me. I wasn't in remission for a long time, and then I started getting awful complications.
The clincher for me was when I got a fever that went as high as 104.6 when I was on cimzia (this was in January). It was so scary -- my worst hospitalization ever (ten days), the only time when I thought I might actually die of the disease, or rather of side effects from the drugs I was taking for the disease. At that point, the only drug that was helping at all was prednisone, and my docs were pretty clear that it was not a long term option.
I just wasn't feeling too keen on putting any more scary drugs in my body, especially ones that were less tested than the ones I'd been on. As for tysabri, which I had investigated earlier, it only has about a 35% success rate for Crohn's, which just didn't feel worth the risk.
I also ended up missing a lot more work this time than I had, and my thought was, "I'd rather keep my job than my colon."
But in a way, the dramatic fever made it a lot easier to decide on surgery, and I get it that you almost wish it were the only option. My gi doc thought it was a good decision, and would have been two years ago. I probably would have kept resisting the surgery otherwise, as I just hated the idea of losing original body parts.
The surgery is tough, and I still have a complication that's not fully healed, but within about two months I just felt like I had my life back -- like I had forgotten what it was to be well. Absolutely everyone who sees me thinks I look better than I have in years -- my color is back, I've put on weight. I can eat things I couldn't eat before, I'm starting to do things like go for a walk every morning w/out worrying about bathrooms, go to concerts, reconnect with old friends that I was too tired to see, etc.
I did think a lot before surgery about how I would feel if the disease was cured in a year..... and you know, I'd be thrilled, but I just couldn't wait that long. I feel like I tried, my doctors tried, and I'm fine with it. I am so grateful that the surgery exists, that smart and compassionate people are willing to be colo rectal surgeons when its so unglamorous..... in so many times in history and places in the world today, I would be dead.
I started thinking that my heart, lungs, liver, etc got together and voted my colon off the island...... and my surgeon gave me some pictures of my colon, and it just was so shriveled in places -- looked so awful, was hard to imagine it could have gotten better, and I was glad it was out of me.
And just to make matters really weird, my colon biopsied as having no signs of Crohn's..... my doc was pretty sure it was Crohn's going in, but now he leans towards UC, but it could be either one....
Getting used to the bag has been pretty easy. There are some mishaps and accidents, but mostly it is way easier than dealing w/the urgency I had before surgery. I can actually wait to empty the bag, don't have to run....
I mostly go to the ostomy board now, so I didn't see your post originally, but do feel free to come over there and post any questions or whatever ..... that list has been incredibly helpful to me before and after the surgery, very generous and knowledgeable people. I was surprised to find how many people had gone through the same list of drugs as I did, but opted for surgery much sooner along the way, and were happy w/their decisions.
BTW I tried all kinds of diet things, supplements, etc, and some helped a bit, but not ever enough to put me into remission. I very well might have missed something that could have worked, but I was just done..... done trying things, done being sick, done with the drugs etc..... When I realized I was done, it was like a switch had flipped, and I've been completely clear ever since....
Good luck w/this very difficult decision.