OT sorta: So incredibly sad

Oh Gail! How I can relate! I have three adult children and I know how hard it can be to stand back while they make choices that you wish they wouldn't!
I always feel the love you have for your grandson whenever you mention him in a post. My grandson lives in Hawaii with his mother and I have only seen him twice in his seven years. I drive hours to visit with my grandaughter, sometimes for only an hour visit. Grandchildren are our reward for surviving our children. We should get to enjoy them as much as we want. Unfortunately it doesn't always work out the way it should. I am sooo very sorry for you and your husband! I wish there were words to make it all better. When I go thru trials I always try to remember that everything happens for a reason and that far too often I can't see that reason. All I can offer is my sympathy and wishes for your daughter and grandson to have this new experiance be a positive thing for them. Is there any possibility that your grandson could stay with you until she is employed and more settled in Iowa? (((((HUGS)))))

Thanks again everyone for your support. It means more to me than you could ever know.

My husband and I were finally able to sit down and talk about it lastnight. We are just going to continue loving Elijah and letting him know we are always here for him.

But his Mom is going to have to learn her lesson the hard way. I spoke with my other daughter who lives in Iowa and she is really upset because she says these "friends" she has are totally deceiving her sister, because the employment situation where she is going is just as bad as California because it is a small farming area. So once again my daughter is jumping from the fire pan into the fire. I am going to hope and pray that somehow this works out for her, because it needs to for my little man. He deserves some stability, something he hasn't had in a long time with his mother.

My daughter did tell me she will split the cost of flying Elijah out to us each summer, which makes me happy as we can still see him once in awhile. Lets just hope she can fulfill her end of it.

Thanks again guys, you really mean alot to me, and your words have been very comforting to me. Hugs!

As Seriously Relaxed suggested, is there any way your grandson could stay with you until your daughter has a job and is settled? Maybe she could go back to school (near you). I hope this all works out for the best for all of you.

Julia

Crohn'snme thank you for asking. I am not in that anxious mode that causes so much d, puking etc., but still very weepy naturally. I really need to get past this part of it, as I need to have a heart to heart with my daughter. She needs to know that while difficult I will support her decision, but that I will not go into debt again to rescue her. If this does not work out she will have to find the funds to get back home. I think that at least will teach her a lesson and maybe if it does happen that way, she will finally get it.

She is an adult, he is her son, so no matter what I really don't have much say. Its very hard for me right now, as everytime I look at his picture on my desk I tear up again. I love that baby so much. I wish she would leave him with me until she got settled, but I highly doubt that will happen. She will probably think I am trying to steal him or something.

I think she is going to get quite a few wake up calls when she is there. One, how is it going to feel to have no family around at the holidays, or how angry her son is going to be soon, when he realizes that Nanners and Papi are just not that close anymore. He is a perfect angel around any one else but his mother. With her is angry and defiant, and she just doesn't get it that she is the reason he gets so angry. Also, when she needs a "break" from him (this happens often) who is she going to call???? Because we were the ones who always gave her her "breaks". Oh well, within time she is going to see the error of her ways. I do hope she succeeds, but after talking to folks who live in that area, I think she is going to find the job situation is tough all over the US.

Thanks so much for caring. I don't know where I would be without all of you. Hugs!

Kazbern I tried to talk to my oldest sister about it, without any luck. She is in as much la la land as my daughter, and ended up just scolding me:(

She was telling me my daughter was going to live with her grandmother, turns out thats not true. She is moving on the ideas that her friends can help her get a job. As much as its killing me, I think I have to let her find this out on her own, as she is adament she is leaving Calif next month. All I can do at this point is pray, and I have been doing lots of that. Hugs!

I am so sorry you are going through this. You sound heartbroken. I can't imagine anything harder than watching your children make mistakes. Hopes and prayers that she will stay and your pain will be less.

I want to thank you all again for allowing me to pour my heart out to you and for you all to share your experiences, suggestions or just offer your support to me.

As hard as it is for me, I have to let go and let God guide her steps. She is no longer my little girl, that I can command to do as I say. I have to let her go to live the life she chooses. If she fails or succeeds, its all on her. And I have to remember that I am no longer responsible for my childrens choices. They are all adults now and must learn to live and stand on their own two feet, just like all of us before them have had to.

And thru wise guidance of dear friends, I also know that I have the right to enjoy and live my own life now. I have worked hard to get to where I am now, and I too deserve to be happy. Although it will be difficult without my little man around, I will be okay and he will always know his Nanners & Papi love him.

So thank you again for letting me vent to you. I do love each and everyone of you. Many have become like family to me.

Hugs
Gail*Nanners*

Thanks Vicky!! No one said being a parent was gonna be easy, did they?? I and this particular daughter have made peace, then her sister decides to rip me a new one for nothing. I give!! LOL

I'm so sorry you're having to deal this.

Gail, I am so sorry I am so late in posting to this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.