Hi Jenny...so sorry you are having so much pain. I know exactly how you feel. I was having so much anal pain from a fissure. I finally had a fissurectomy and that helped so much!
What I have found that works pretty well is soaking in a warm bath. Also there is a cream called Calmoseptine which is AMAZING! You really need to get that...its OTC and you should be able to get it at a local drug store. Also putting cornstarch on the area helps me.
Hope these help you. Please let us know how you are doing!:)