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Perineal Fistula and Vaginal Hardness and My Love Life

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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 11/7/2011 12:49 PM (GMT 0)
Hey guys,

After like nine months of being told it was just a persistent abscess, I have finally been diagnosed with a fistula. It goes from my rectum to my labia, and the end point on the labia is marked by a perpetually oozing abscess (graphic, sorry). The abscess covers an area maybe dime-sized, and has a couple entry points. It's on the right labia, about as close to my anus as it could be.

The more pressing problem is that the entire bottom edge of my vaginal opening is like, rock hard, and does not stretch at all. I haven't been able to have sex since September because of this. It feels disgusting, and I'm constantly depressed because I don't know if it'll go away or soften. It's a real blow to my feminine confidence. I just don't understand what is causing it, and the doctors are all very dismissive, saying "let's just treat the fistula and see where we are".

I'm 21 years old. I love my fiance. I really enjoy having sex. I don't want to lose it! I'm really terrified, and no one is giving me any cause for reassurance. Do any of you have any experience like this?
Posted 11/7/2011 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
I don't have any experience to share, but did want to send you some (((GIANT HUGS))). I hope they figure out whats going on and get you feeling better soon.  Hugs!
Posted 11/7/2011 4:04 PM (GMT 0)
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It is unfortunate that sometimes that happens to women with CD. If your doctors focus on healing your fistula, the other issue will likely resolve with time.
Posted 11/7/2011 8:40 PM (GMT 0)
I have that same thing I think. I am 27 and have been married for 4 years so I hear ya girl. It is a pain in my rear (literally). But it doesn't stop me. I am not sure my hubby even feels it. He has never complained. I just go slow and use lots of lube. It's fine, he loves you for you and that little strange hard thing down there is the least of his worries. Stress does them no good so calm down and it will shrink up and you will barely notice it is there!!

Good Luck

Tonya

Posted 11/7/2011 10:00 PM (GMT 0)
I wonder if perhaps a sex therapist might be able to help? I don't mean a sex worker, but a professional who works in a hospital (or other health care setting) whose role is to help couples work around their physical difficulties.

There might be tricks or techniques or aids or something that can help.

I'm sorry about your abscess and fistula. They sound especially nasty, and I feel for you.

Ivy.
Posted 11/7/2011 10:16 PM (GMT 0)
I definitely know what you're talking and I know it's not easy having abscesses and fistulas so close to the vagina. I was left with quite a dent after different surgeries. But the hardness should go away after the fistula is taken care of. But while the abscess and fistula is still there it'll be hard in that area. But that was in my experience it might be different in your case.
Posted 11/8/2011 1:18 PM (GMT 0)
I am going through the same thing right now. Doctor jabbed me with a needle yesterday to take a culture but only removed a small portion of the pus, so I still have pressure and pain in my labia. And last week he added a third seton to the area between my anus and vagina, not really wear a woman wants one. I don't understand why we can't just get the abcsess to drain properly. I am hoping the culture comes back and tells us that it is resistent to the anitibotics he has me on (this was a problem I had last May) that way I can try something different that might help.

I feel your pain and sympathize with you and hope things get better soon!
Posted 11/8/2011 11:30 PM (GMT 0)
hi i think i have the same problem
i get abcesses on my behind and got them cut out a few times but keep coming back so am waiting for ops to help them not come back again. they also go round my front and on the inside of my legs where the pants are against so to say its uncomfortable is an understatement they are loads of days i cant sit or can barley walk cos they so sore.
i havent meet anyone else who had problems like this so this site has already helped me
Posted 11/8/2011 11:44 PM (GMT 0)
Is there different kinds of Crohn's disease?? Or just affects others differently. I have not had any fistulas, but lots of stricturing. Just curious. Hope you feel better soon.
Posted 11/9/2011 2:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Jennifer-

I have a rectovaginal fistula that has been going on 4 years now (hope this doesn't discourage you!). I am 27 and have been married 8 years. I totally understand where you are coming from, it's a big jab in the girl confidence when your hoo-ha is killing you. And I'm sorry that you are dealing with this at such an important time in your relationship. But I'll tell you what, you've got CD! This probably isn't your first rodeo and it most definitely won't be your last! This is how my husbands and my relationship goes: abcessed fistua = no sex. really really bad diarrhea = no sex. bad abdominal cramping = no sex. physicall exhausted from being sick = no sex. (here's where everyone calls me a prude). But really, making love to your fiance right now isn't good for you, him, or that brewing infection down there. give it some time, it will get better. I've had an open fistula for 4 years now, and trust me, there has been sex. trust your doctor; sometimes it takes more than one try to find the best treatment. just give it some time, and after a while the pain will decrease, the swelling will go down (that'd be the lump you feel), you will feel more confident, and there will be sex. just take it easy in the mean time.
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