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Crohn's Disease
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Posted 11/9/2011 3:35 PM (GMT 0)
Listen guys; I want to apologize to anyone that I might have offended, on yesterday's thread. There are food triggers that cause us flare's, stress trigger's, and whatever else might be your trigger. I've fallen into dark hole(again), and cd has wronged me so many times, I can't stand it. The proud thing was to much for me, like NCOT said I should disappear for awhile. One thing I would never do is brag about remission on this site. I might say I'm feeling a bit better. But I will never rub salt in anybody's wound. I do have a double whammy going on in my life right now cd is one for sure, and the main cause of the other, (private). I mean I give grin and bear it a ton of credit in her life, I couldn't be a waitress, I'd rather risk my life from race horses than someone unhappy about there burger. so kudo's to you. But again so sorry

AG
Posted 11/9/2011 3:42 PM (GMT 0)
Don't disappear AG. This is just a bad time for you right now. Truly, I think you've apologized enough.
Like every thing else this will all be a distant memory soon.

Feel better soon!!
Posted 11/9/2011 3:58 PM (GMT 0)
Well I accept your apology! But...I think this forum is to share our accomplishments and our troubles and think we need to respect each person's right to express how they are feeling, whether in a flare or remission.

I am sorry that the depression has hit you, and hope your are working with your doctors to help you thru this dark place. I wish you peace and happiness. Hugs!
Posted 11/9/2011 4:21 PM (GMT 0)
everyone has their own story, and no two stories are the same. Sometimes is hard to know where people are coming from, both in positivity and negativity. But that's the beauty of life, we don't NEED to know where people are coming from, nor can we ever truly understand because my story isn't your story, and your story isn't Grin's story. but the one thing we can do is support someone in their story no matter what the circumstances. and if we can't then we just walk away from that particular story. there's no harm in ignoring certain people if they just don't do it for you (it's just like how I avoid people in my personal life who may disrupt my personal circumstances). nobody's situation is wrong, nor is her solution your solution. That's just the way this disease, and most of life in general, rolls. I commend you in your story, and hers.
Posted 11/9/2011 4:51 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Artist Guy,
Please stay, I love your sense of humor and the honesty in your posts. How is your healing from the accident coming along? I've been meaning to ask for awhile.
Posted 11/9/2011 5:04 PM (GMT 0)
AG, thank you for your apology, and I appreciate that you tried to clarify your response in the other thread. I know you've been going through a hard time with your health and the car accident, etc, so I hope and pray you will come through stronger then ever.
I also love your sense of humour, and will miss that, so please don't stay way for too long.
Cheers!
Posted 11/9/2011 10:08 PM (GMT 0)
thanks so much, Iam truly embarrassed, and feel so bad for grin and bear it. I hope she posts more and I promise to myself to not react so quickly, this is something I have to get over, I get so mad at this DD, it truly has robbed me of so much. I started my first session with a shrink yesterday, then 12 visits. This has been a long strange trip that I have been on since may 15th.(accident) This site, too has helped me, I've sat up and cried my eyes out at 1-2 in the AM, while reading posts about young kids with cd, or teens and adults as well, i find it heartwrenching, and I don't respond to alot of those posts, but I cry for them, just like I've cried for you dawg, and the hope that you see decent health in your future, as I wish for all. this disease robbs us of our dignity

AG
Posted 11/9/2011 10:21 PM (GMT 0)
I didn't see anything wrong with your posts, AG. I think that HW can be at least one place where we don't have to put on a false front, the way we often have to do with people in our real lives.

I would say what I said to NCOT in one of her threads, though. We all have things - and threads - that will trigger dark thoughts, and I think it's best to avoid those unless we really are feeling strong. You don't need the extra pain that reading such threads can bring, so I think it's best to stick to the threads that will help *you*.

Keep hanging in there.

Ivy.
Posted 11/9/2011 10:23 PM (GMT 0)
You boys are so sweet (except for the head spinning part). Hugs hugs hugs.
Posted 11/9/2011 11:02 PM (GMT 0)
AG- I don't want you to go anywhere! You have helped me several times in the past year or two and I always look forward to reading your posts...
If you do leave, please don't stay gone for long, you will be sorely missed!
Posted 11/10/2011 2:31 AM (GMT 0)
AG I am with Ivy this time. I was frankly confused by the reactions to your posts. You qualified all that you said. The first was a little "hard" but the rest you consistently gave the original poster some breathing room. You are another regular here that I tend to read and give weight to. Others do include Nanners and the Dawg but I come down with you in this issue which I hope will go away soon.

Let's all just lick our wounds (unless it a fissure - ewww!) and heal and get back to what we do best! Listen to folks concerns and offer our advice concerns and opinions AND try not to fall out of our chairs when Sniper cracks a joke on us.

This is a two way forum and we can't all see eye to eye every time. As long as respect is shown (I believe it was) then STRONG feelings can be expressed also. Take a break if you need to AG but your rep is good here I believe and you need not go. Guy
Posted 11/10/2011 4:56 AM (GMT 0)
No one lives life without a few oopsies alng the way. As long as you learn from them and keep growing, you are doing the right thing. I hate this disease as well - I really wouldn't wish it on anybody. However, I have learned some very important things about myself, and I have become a more compassionate and caring person.

I didn't want to learn these lessons, and I've grieved the loss of our carefree life. I'd much rather have learned these things like everyone else does as they grow older, not have it crammed down my throat. It is certainly a bitter pill.

I have learned that we must endure, because we don't really have another choice; we must find pleasure in the things we are able to do at any given time; we must live in the moment and not let worries about the future ruin the present; we must seek counseling and medical help to preserve our mental health during rough times and there is no shame in that.

When my hubby first got really sick, I spiraled into depression; fear, anxiety and despair my constant companions. With the encouragement of people on this board, I finally got some psychiatric help and started to climb my way out of the pit. My mother actually hid all the knives in the house because she feared what I may do in the dark of the night when I tortured myself with the what ifs, and grieved the loss of our lives.

You have been enduring a very long battle, and right now you are in a downward spiral emotionally speaking. I hope you can claw your way put of there, and find a better perspective to help you get through this trying time. A question I ask myself is would anyone love to be me - and I know the answer to that - just reading about the world we live in everyday tells me that there will be a very long line of people who would gratefully swap lives with me.

Perspective is what makes life livable and enjoyable. Pain and anxiety can cause your perspective to become very negative, leaving you bereft of any mirth. See if you can find a way to shift your perspective to a happier one.

(((Hugs)))

PV
Posted 11/10/2011 2:49 PM (GMT 0)
There are all sorts of names for this . I got up on the wrong side of the bed, I ran my mouth without my brain in gear , I had a bad day , I sniffed too much cedar sawdust . We all have such days . Even the best of friends disagree from time to time . You are an important part of this group and I hope you stick around . I am hoping Grin understands and stays also . We of all people need to realize that we come here at some of the worse times of our lives and none of us will always be at the top of our game . I know I have unintentionally stepped on some toes and did not realize I had until later . Its part of being human and in our case, having a lot on our plate .
Posted 11/10/2011 3:08 PM (GMT 0)
Artist, I think we all understand. It's weird but I think we are all protective of our view of this DD. Does that make any sense at all? I know I have started to fire back at someone and then reread what I wrote and deleted it --- knowing full well I'd had a bad day or week and was taking it out of the wrong person.

DON'T leave us...you're part of this crazy family. (hey we can be disfunctional just like a regular family, right?)

Hugs
Posted 11/10/2011 8:39 PM (GMT 0)
I've thought about leaving this group several times myself because although, I know that this group is here to help and support sometimes (more lately) I've gotten so mad at what some of the members have posted or replied that I just had to leave the site or break something.

AG you, and a few others on here are indeed an important part of the reason I came here today.

I for one did not see anything wrong with what you wrote. It was the truth. Your truth. There are people everywhere that believe that we should all wake up with smiles on our faces everyday no matter what is happening to us ready to take on whatever life throws at us. I am not one of them. I haven't been through Crohn's as bad as you yet but I have had my share of pain and operations and it disturbed me as well when I read that post you reacted to.

Perhaps I am oversimplifying this but I see 3 or so camps in this group - the oldtimers who are either older, have had Crohn's for ages, or just know more in general, then there are the younger people some haven't even left school yet and have a different attitude just because they are young, and then there are the people in here who are on alternative treatments and diets and this is a good place for them to share with each other what's happening. I know I have left out some sub groups.

The trouble happens when any one person from any of these groups appears self-righteous, or boasts with or without evidence how they have been cured, how wonderful their life is now (really??), that they know the cure, or how losing their legs (sarcasm) or getting through some awful thing (AND I SHOULD KNOW) has made them a better person. These sorts of posts really push my buttons... especially ones that are medically ridiculous.

I have been through hell this year.
I NEVER posted how "proud" I was to be still alive after being almost dead, or how much better a person I am to have gone through all of that. In my opinion it is tantamount to bragging you won a million dollars to a bunch of homeless people that don't have food to eat and not sharing your booty with them. It is selfish and extremely unempathetic.

I'm happy for everyone who is in remission, or have found an equilibrium with the diet and meds they are on to be able to still work and function as a somewhat normal person. BUT there are so many that are suffering now or have fresh memories of the pain and suffering they have gone through in the not so distant past.

If someone feels the intense need to tell the world (HW) how wonderful they are or proud or whatever they shouldn't be surprised that many of us are offended by it and express our opinions. These opinions unless containing curse words or threats shouldn't be deleted by the mods. The world is not a rosy place. I do want to hear about members who are in hospital and I would be pleased to hear they are alright! We all wait to hear from people we know and like on here when they get through a rough spot. Please do not misunderstand me. Maybe I'm too jaded for this place as well.
NY VEGGIE
Posted 11/10/2011 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
Artist, thank you for your post and heartfelt apology. I really do appreciate it and accept it completely. I do know now that I need to think more about how my words can be interpreted and will take care to do so.
One thing I'd like to clarify if that's alright, is that I'm not in remission. There is still blood every day, pain no matter what I eat, blood tests every week because my white count is dangerously low, excessive absences from work to hold me back, etc, etc..
I found this site because my doctor insisted I either go on medication for depression or find a support group. I didn't find a face to face one, but I did find this wonderful way to reach out and hear other voices that understand as well. That was a saving grace to me. I admit, I was very hurt after reading some of the responses to my post, because I felt it wasn't safe to share my positive feelings and that's what I need most sometimes--even on my strongest days. I'm only human, and no matter how far I've come at standing with my head above water, I still have a soft, squishy heart that beats and breaks just like everyone else. Also, because I hate the thought of hurting others who are already going through a terrible time. I would never wish this or any other pain or disease on my worst enemy--I really never meant what I said in that way. So I truly hope you, and everyone else who is reading understands that. It was simply a heavy role in my life that helped me as much as it has hurt me. And I'm not trying to, nor do I want to, restart that topic. Please accept my apology for hurting you and anyone else who read my words.
Posted 11/10/2011 9:06 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Grin & Bear It for your apology and for accepting Artist's Guys apology as well. I do want to say though that we are a peer support group. I want to know about of those of you who are suffering, BUT....I want to know about the successes too. We are here for both the bad times and also the good. I think this place would be very dark if it was only posts of suffering and pain.

And like Ivy said, if you think a post is going to trigger you, then stay away from it. Hugs!
Posted 11/10/2011 9:17 PM (GMT 0)

Nanners said...
Thank you Grin & Bear It for your apology and for accepting Artist's Guys apology as well. I do want to say though that we are a peer support group. I want to know about of those of you who are suffering, BUT....I want to know about the successes too. We are here for both the bad times and also the good. I think this place would be very dark if it was only posts of suffering and pain.

And like Ivy said, if you think a post is going to trigger you, then stay away from it. Hugs!

This bears repeating. Seeing stories of remission is very encouraging to some of us. It may suck to not be the one in remission, but it's hope that remission DOES exist out there. I think being proud of having a disease that you had no control over getting doesn't really make sense, but I think the sentiment was more along the lines of being proud of who she became, which was a result of the disease. Anyway, I love seeing the success stories. It's inspiring.
Posted 11/10/2011 11:21 PM (GMT 0)
I want to say one more thing, then lets drop it. G&B, I knew you were not in remission, that's not what pushed my button. You should be proud of what you are doing in your life! being a waitress is the most humbling of all jobs. everybody once in there life should be a waitress, evan for 1 day. It is humbling job. And working with kids is wonderful. I'm going to start a thread about being proud of having cd, but not for 2-3 months, when I do you will see why. I mean I was proud of getting on ssdi so quickly, because of cd. I wanted the government to know how nasty this DD is for us, and how difficult it is to try to work a normal job( I couldn't last). Do you understand the difference, I was proud to help our cause. But ivy is right choose your threads, I've read many, wrote a long post, just to delete it. But Iam so so sorry if I hurt your feelings. Like I told you I would rather deal with B** A** race horse than be a waitress, and I bet you're good at it. cheers!!!

AG
Posted 11/11/2011 12:58 AM (GMT 0)
Ok, I need to know, have I said enough of an explanation to my response on THAT day. I don't want to be misunderstood. And I feel really bad about all this. I have left it alone, but after reading the above, I want to make sure.
Posted 11/11/2011 2:05 AM (GMT 0)
Yes, enough has been said by everyone. The reality is, we'll probably forget 79.823% of this ordeal next month. :-)

*********Let's let this thread go, please.**********
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