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Sad post about Nanners and Ivy....

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Posted 12/5/2011 3:12 PM (GMT 0)
Peter said he changed 9 MODs. Who were the other 7 mods that lost their status??
Posted 12/5/2011 3:12 PM (GMT 0)
I do think that without Peter we would not have the structure that this community depends on, both in terms of infrastructure, and funding. On that front, I think Peter has been a God send for all of us. Personally, I believe I owe Peter a pretty big debt of gratitude for having the foresight and perseverance to set up and maintain a site such as this.

Peter has done a terrific job of just making this resource available to people, who like me, when they first find this forum, or desperate, panicking, anxious, sad, and so so worn out. However, everyone is not good at everything. I just wish this had been handled better to avoid wounded feelings and public discourse of what should have been a matter resolved amicably internally.

I do not know the details, but I believe we all make mistakes, and we need to be kind to each other. I am hoping that Peter, Gail and Ivy can move past this, keeping in mind, that they each have been a very key part of this community.

My hugs to Gail and Ivy. I am still hoping you'll come back. Peter, Gail and Ivy, I hope you are reading this thread, and can put any differences aside and work with each other to get past the hurt. Honest truth is, the people on this forum need all three of you, doing what you do best.

PV
Posted 12/5/2011 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
To my dearest family:

I feel that I can honestly say that, as most of you have become like family to me and I do love you all very much. I am immensely grateful for your outpouring of love and support for both Ivy and I. Some of your posts have made me literally sob because they touched my heart so deeply. I knew you cared for/about me, I just never realized you loved me as much as you do. Sometimes the negative posts can make you doubt your own value.

I tried not to be your moderator, but your friend and fellow sufferer, and to help you walk through the tough times, and not feel so alone. I have tried to guide you and share with you what 36 years of living with Crohns has taught me. I wasn’t/and never will be the most knowledgeable person about Crohns, and I never claimed to be more knowledgeable than any other member. But I did try to tell you what mistakes I made in my 36 years and try to help you avoid those same mistakes and not have to go thru the misery I did. One thing I did do as a moderator, was try very hard to keep the longtime sufferers as well as the newly diagnosed safe from those who would try to cause you harm or take advantage of you. Or just to provide you a kind word, so you didn’t feel like you were alone in your suffering. I have read every single post and tried to provide some support for those of you going thru the worst this disease can throw at us. And you loved me and supported me thru my recent flare and hospitalization, and I will be eternally grateful for that. I am grateful also for the opportunity I was given to be a part of this wonderful forum.

This change has come as a shock and without warning, and has thrown me for quite a loop to be honest. I have spent the weekend alternating between deep sadness and tears, and some anger. Not because I am losing some kind of power I coveted, but what this decision and their following actions that have caused me to feel unworthy. My poor husband felt the brunt of it; thank goodness the Good Lord gave him strong shoulders. As stated by other moderators on this post, this was not a known or even published “moderator rule”. So even though the admin has said it was nothing I did or no complaint was made about me, then why does it feel like this rule only applies to Ivy and I and not all the moderators? Roni, is a wonderful Crohns moderator, so you are lucky to have her. Please be kind to her. The other nine mods also let go were inactive moderators on other forums and hadn’t been seen on the forums for quite awhile anyways.

I have been told that not having a moderator title should not affect me in continuing to provide support. And it probably shouldn’t, but as you can imagine, it’s a little hard for me right now. This situation has taken a toll on me mentally and physically, I need to first and foremost take care of me at this time. So I am going to step away from the forums for awhile. If you would like to contact me, my email is and always has been in my profile (just click the envelope to the side of my name). Roni and I are friends on Facebook too, so she can help guide you to me also. Again I am and will always be grateful for the love and support you have all shown me. Thank you doesn’t seem to be enough!

Your friend and fellow Crohnie,
Gail*Nanners*
Posted 12/5/2011 4:46 PM (GMT 0)
Heya Gang,

I am afraid Zanne has this nailed.

Without going into great detail about myself I was there when the internet was born, pretty close, I created, ran and sold some of the first websites ever created, by hand back then. No website software to do it for me. No "website to create your own forum" websites existed back then. I am a computer/internet geek. I can tear any comp/os/program apart, rebuild it, repair it, or what have you. Disabled leaves you alot of time to study things.

I have worked for some of the biggest coporations in the world and the smallest, I have been self-employed and employed others.

So I can tell you first hand, placing a website of any kind on the internet, forum, commercial, personal or other requires little wo no work. Maintaining one is something different, but if you have a troop of dedicated volunteers who will maintain your website that helps.

I currently live in the US, a nation filled with  some of the most desigusting poloticians in the world, talking sideways out of their mouths, enjoying the perks of their titles simpy because they stand on the backs of the little man, but can't almost every nation say just about the same thing these days.

It is soul crushing to know that your voice is actually the majority, but is not taken into account because those in power do not care, you are nothing but an ant to them to be ignored or squashed so they may continue their privleaged existence.

Where is this going, well imo there are paralels to this situation and the ones the entire world finds themselves in right now, this world is about to go revolutionary and already has in several nations, people are dying by the thousands every day for their rights and freedoms.

I do not know Peter, or any other folks who might have a financial ownership in this website, but I know the ones who truly run it, or did.

I know the admin post earlier in this thread is total nonsense. I searched every other forum and this is the only one I could find this kind of outrage about this,  9 others were let go, were they not active amoungst the members? Did no one know them, cause there is no word of any other mod being let go except Gail and Iv.

Alot of us believe in "The Bigger Picture", well I have news for everyone, each individual in this community IS "The Bigger Picture" every living being is, not this one forum, not one organization, not one community, it is each individual that makes "The Big Picture" possible.

There has been 0 credible explanation as to what has transpired. I do not care for posts which state owners have the right to do whatever they choose, fire who they want, hire, be silent, speak out, whatever.

As a community leader of any sort, if that is what you believe you are, then you have an obligation to the community first, if your only obigation is to the business end first, then you are a business man, not an activist or supporter of these forums.

Business should never come first in life ever!, People should always come first, but that seems toi have all changed over the the years, people care less, they blithley make decisions now not caring about the consequences, perhaps because now a days spanking is considered a crime.

Children who are raised wihtout understanding consequences to their actions will always make the worst decisions. A large portion of our current youth falls into that catagory. Some children were still raised right, others, well I have a feeling their parents personal lives and personal business might have just gotten in the way of their most imopratant role, protectint thier familys.

I think we might all forget, that protecting our families isnt just about money, prestige, honor.

It is about love, understanding, communication and empathy as well.

I have seen nothing like this from the admins involving this situation. it appears they are simply waiting to either delete this thread or hope it pass's quickly.

FYI I ran a extremley high bandwith website a few years back and turned the enitre site automated, I only had to visit about once a week just to check my stats, and I had aides watching it as well. It was no effort on my part and made great money.

SO for me, this is about what is right, not about what we will except, or be willing to live with.

I am truly sorry all, but I am not willing to live with this decision the way it currently stands, unless there is an open and fairly based discusion with a reasonable outcome soon, I will be leaving.

Yes, I know, this does not effect the admins, I'm sure one less patron here will not matter to them and soon enough ny name will be forgotten entirley on these forums.

Zanne: Please PM me anything you want, this whole thing has disgusted me to no end, I will not stay and watch people I love betrayed with no ryme or reason while the accusers hide behind "worded" shields.

I will miss everyone, someone really screwed this one up, there is still time to remedy it, but it appears the powers that be choose to sit back and do nothing. This is how the world is now, Darwin at it's finest, the weak perish, only the strong survive.

Well you strong survivors enjoy your reign at the top with the others. In the end, there can be only one right? Is that He-man or Highlander, either way, enjoy your climb to the top Peter, or whoever is responsible, nothing says success like your footprints on the backs of your friends and co-workers.

Do as you wish with me, fire me, delete me, delete this post, what has transpired is wrong and should be corrected, any decent person or company would consider revieweing past actions for mistakes, looking to improve on them and apologize if needed.

So I suppose this may be my last post here. I certainly hope not.

I wish everyone the best, all my love and support. Life is to short for this crap and to have to deal with people who hand you this kind of crap.

If I want to be abused I will go back to the hospital, I come here for my family and you Sir, or whomever, have just effectivley told me, that some of my greatest family members are not worth my respect or admiration by removing their titles, their titles are as much to do with them as just their individual posts.

You have come into my house, and stolen family from me, wether their ghosts survive or not is not the issue.

I understad neutrality in these issuses, because there is never enought inofrmation for one to make an informed fact based oppinion, however some of were there and are disgusted by the outcome.

There are other forums, there are other outlets. I do not return to a business or service model of any kind which wrongs me. This is what they want, you to lie down, go back to sleeep and do what they tell you, otherwise someone might actually have to make a decent decision in life, do some work or other thing they don't want to.

I am truly sorry if some of you may see this as a "over the top" response to this, but I assure you, if you came into my house and tried to treat my family this way, it would end badly for all parties.

Thus, this ends badly for me, I lose a home I have grown to love, a family I have grown to love, but I believe in solodarity, and I for one am taking a stand.

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" feel free to look up one of the greatest movie quotes of all time.

I will think of you all every day, I will continue to prey and be in your hearts, but I will not stay here and contiue to support anyone who makes these kind of decisions without first consulting his family.

This became more then just one persons "I own this forum and can do what I want" website long ago, it is a community website now, if you took it down, I would place one up the next day, but I would not have the audacity to claim I owned the community and int his case, the website is the community. Perhaps, Peter or whomever you should consider removing yoruself from these types of decisions and allowing some other form of mediators to handle whatever situation led to this.

It is never to late to make ammends. Everyone makes choices, you appear to have made yours, now lets see if you take the communities response into consideration?

Yup, strongly worded, but hey all they can do is take away my free speech, through deletion or other.

If this thread or post dissapears, hopefully the ones who saw it willt ake comfort in that my love for the community never died.

Goodbye my friends

Much Love

Jon

P.S.

darn, right after Gail posted I posted mine, didn't even know she had posted yet, obviously posted at the same time, Gail only confirms everything I wrote above.

I love you Gail, You saved my life. KNOW THAT! BELIEVE THAT! Yopu saved peoples lives from your home, without lifing a physical finger (short of typing), you saved lives. You are an angel.

Post Edited (Blue Velvyt) : 12/5/2011 9:52:31 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/5/2011 5:25 PM (GMT 0)
Nanners and Ivy, so glad to see you post. I hope you guys can see how much everyone loved you on here and hopefully some serious thinking about what has been done and the upset it has caused this forum will be put into consideration. Love you both and sending you hugs! Hang in there!

I also just looked at how busy each forum is and holy cow, you guys are amazing at being able to keep up with how much goes on here. Just know, we will always be here for you!

Post Edited (aimsgirl16) : 12/5/2011 10:34:44 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/5/2011 5:32 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, what a mess! It's a tribute to you Gail and Ivy, that so many of us care about you. Please know that and take our love with you if you decide to step away from the forum. For me, this forum has always been where I go when I'm in my worst pain. In real life, I take care of others and don't always completely admit my pain, but this has been my safe place since my Crohn's diagnosis. I guess it's time for me to move on and step away too....I have enough sadness and controversy in real life. Be well all of you and thanks to everyone for your support. Maybe I'll check out the ccfa or other Crohn's forums...
Posted 12/5/2011 5:40 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Gail, my dear friend that was a very brave and sad thing to post, you know I love ya!!!!

Jon, I applaud you my friend, what a post! I know that came deep from your very big heart. Lets
hope that the message is received and understood, once and for all... How ever, like you, for me if a
change come, it might be too late. God Bless you all!!
Posted 12/5/2011 5:54 PM (GMT 0)
Now I feel just plain sad. I posted earlier thanking Peter for clarifying what happened. In reading all the posts I'm now not convinced that anything was really clarified at all.

Gail & Ivy...if you feel the need to step away for awhile I completely understand. But I do want to remind you that you are both strong and wonderful beings. You know what you're made of, we know what you're made of. Don't let ANYBODY steal your power by words or actions that would tend to trivialize your contributions to this forum or even to humanity. You're both so much larger than that!

I, for one, would miss you terribly. I don't post all the time, but I do come here every morning to catch up and to watch Gail give hugs to all, and to see Ivy still post even though there are times she should probably just be in bed. You two offer way more than you realize. Don't let anybody influence you in thinking that you are not vital and that you don't count...because you do, very much. ((((Hugs))))
Posted 12/5/2011 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
I, like all of you, was shocked to see this when I opened the forum to check out the activity of the weekend. I will reserve my judgement of admin regarding the decision to "rotate moderators" at their discretion, as I am not the final authority in judgement.

I would like to add my heartfelt thanks to Ivy & Nanners for all of the support and encouragement that I have received from you both during my time on this forum. I came to this forum shortly after being diagnosed with this disease to find information and understand that I wasn't alone in dealing with it. This group, and these moderators in particular, helped me through a flare and the ensuing surgeries when I had no idea what to expect or any thoughts of who else to turn to. Ivy & Nanners, you have touched an incalculable number of people's lifes and become a trusted friend and advisor to many of us. Thank you for all that you have done for me and others on this forum! Your gift (time and being willing to offer support) may not have been rewarded here by admin, but it will be rewarded in the future.

My hope is that you will both stay around on the board to continue to assist myself and others as we all, you included, struggle with this disease.

Thank you again!

Shawn

Posted 12/5/2011 6:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Jon, e-mail us the link. ; |
Posted 12/5/2011 8:30 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you Gail for making what was obviously a very difficult post. You know you are loved. And to Jon, Wow, just Wow.

And still Peter is silent.
Posted 12/5/2011 8:59 PM (GMT 0)
Gail and Ivy - I've been here FOREVER and I've seen all the effort you've put into this board. Thank you for all you've done. Thank you for the support you have given. I sincerely mean that.

I am not up in arms over this change (no offense to Gail and Ivy). It's not like they've been banned from the site. They can continue to post and be supportive to each of you. I can understand if they feel wronged, but ultimately if you want to help people, does it matter what title you hold? Peter is free to do as he wishes. We may never know the details behind his decision, but does it really matter? This place is to give each other support and we can do that regardless of who retains the title of "moderator".

I have had a problem with the lack of "free speech" allowed on the board. I've never spoken up about it because I knew my post would be deleted or locked. In fact, I find it kind of ironic that this particular thread has gone on to reach 4 pages. I can guarantee you that if this post were about different people and if it were a few days ago this thread would have been locked by now. Sorry if that hurts your feelings. It's just my observance. I've been here a long time (almost 9 years) and I've never seen a place where people are not allowed to express their feelings/opinions. Maybe that was part of the reason Peter felt the need to make some changes? We will never know.

Healingwell has been an invaluable support and resource to me over the years and I'm sure it will continue to be so - regardless of who moderates.
Posted 12/5/2011 9:07 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks Stef17, I agree with you.
Posted 12/5/2011 9:10 PM (GMT 0)
Just wanted to thank Stef17 for her honest commentary. By the way, I agree that there was not an ability to have complete free speech here. This forum has lots of rules that the moderators must abide by, we didn't make them, but we were expected to enforce them. So please never think a moderator was a cause of your free speech being blocked. Regards!
Posted 12/5/2011 9:11 PM (GMT 0)
Just a side note...I just noticed that the posts Nanners had at the top of the forum that were always locked...they are now gone. Seems Peter is making a bunch of changes here.

Gail and Ivy....If you do leave, I will miss you both. You have helped me in the past and I will always remember how great you two are. I hope you choose to stay on.
Posted 12/5/2011 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
Stef,

I was happy to see your post. There is no reason for members to leave. I am not part of this forum, but I have been reading this thread, and it saddens me to think anybody would leave. I don't understand what all happened. And I may never know. But Ivy is sticking around, and Gail may come back after a break, so please, people hang in there for eachother, regardless of this situation.

Hugs to all,
Karen
Posted 12/5/2011 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, what a thread. I just want to reiterate that I have a high regard for Ivy and Nanners. They have done a lot for this forum and for each of you. You can question my decision or attribute it to some "nefarious master plan" but as I explained before I felt they needed some time away from modding. You do not see what I do. I explained this to both of them and I know it has caused some hurt feelings but I still think they can contribute to the forum. I hope they will stay and continue doing what they do.

They have my ongoing appreciation and support.

I don't have anyone "lined up" to take over for them but eventually I will consider anyone that would like to volunteer.

Peter
Posted 12/5/2011 9:39 PM (GMT 0)
Stef17, thanks for having the guts to say what I was thinking. This is not the end of the world. And I, too, have felt that unless you're giving hugs, you're not allowed to post. There is NO room for differing opinions or challenging ideas. It's like if you want to try alternative therapies or go med-free, you better just leave the board. Or heaven forbid, we discuss/debate the causes of this disease we all have. I realize this is a support forum, but can we not discuss the disease itself? It's not HealingWell in general. I participate/read other boards here. The Crohn's board, specifically, is much more heavily moderated than others. I'm sorry people are hurt, but I hope these changes bring good things to this board.
Posted 12/5/2011 9:53 PM (GMT 0)
This is a stressful time of year (xmas and all) on top of our disease that we deal with day to day (often day in and day out for years). This is a very large community and very supportive and full of love and sometimes full of frustration....Remember that we are all constantly learning, we all make mistakes and we all deserve a break (no matter what form) from time to time and we don't always know the entire story but we need to support eachother to stay strong.


I think everyone here needs a big (((((((((((((((CYBER GROUP HUG)))))))))))))))) to help get everyone past this thread.
Posted 12/5/2011 10:03 PM (GMT 0)
Gail - thanks for clearing up the "lock down" issue. To be honest, I was never sure if it was a matter of rules or just some moderators who didn't like for things to go too far. We all know there's nobody crankier than a bunch of sickies who are stuck at home on their computer! :) (I include myself in that lot so please -nobody take offense to that). You have been one of my biggest supporters here and I want you to know that whether you are mod or not, I look forward to our continued interactions. This board has a very weird dynamic. Some posts get tons of responses. Some get none at all - until you come along. I've noticed through the years that you always, ALWAYS try to respond in some way even if it is just to offer support or encouragement. When you have a chronic illness it's far too easy to get wrapped up in yourself, but you, Gail, have been ever mindful of each of us. I hope that whatever hurt feelings or anger you may have regarding what has happened will not keep you from continuing your incredible work here. You have a gift of compassion. We "sickies" need that. Life can make us too hard and too grumpy. I hope that you'll stick around.

Stef

Post Edited (Stef17) : 12/5/2011 3:06:17 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 12/5/2011 11:52 PM (GMT 0)
I don't know Ivy well, but I've appreciated Nanners' posts and sensitive comments for several years now. I'm very sad that she's been relieved of her position here. I hope she'll still be able to post. I'll miss her very much.
Posted 12/6/2011 12:01 AM (GMT 0)
There is so much I could say right now, but that would incite a war. All I'll say is I still feel extremely
unhappy, and right now even if you were to give a huge hug Stephanie it wouldn't make the slightest
difference in the world. *Sigh* each to it's own I guess...
Posted 12/6/2011 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
All I can say is WOW!...I've been away for a bit (I don't visit as much for much the reasons NY Veggie stated), but Ivy and Nanners have made this forum a nice and safe place(where one is not belittled nor is someone trying to make a fast buck off of fears and hopes) to open up and talk. I know in the past Mods were given time to say goodbye that they were taking time off, never really saw this before...but I just wanted to reiterated how much I appreciate the hard work of both these fine ladies who have become like family to me over the years...THANK YOU!
Posted 12/6/2011 4:03 AM (GMT 0)
all that i could/would say has been said...thanks so much Gail and Ivy for all of the time and effort you have put into this forum. It's become a special place for all of us- I've made friends, met a few of you in "real life" and always felt the support i could not find other places. please don't walk away- i know it's tough but when you gals answer something i posted i could care less whether it says "moderator" next to your name or not. it would suck knowing that you're gone.
Posted 12/6/2011 5:11 AM (GMT 0)
Nanners and Ivy,

Thanks so much for being my mentor mods.
I can't give you enough hugs!!!!
xxxooo
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