Am I supposed to be embarrassed to have Crohn's?

I guess I didn't get the memo that I am supposed to be embarrassed to have Crohn's. Since I have been diagnosed I haven't been shy about sharing info about it to those in my family who wanted to listen. I don't always talk about it. Generally, I've explained it once and that's it unless they ask. But they know I go to the bathroom a lot and I've had perinanal and anal problems, like fissures, fistulas, and abscesses. Anyways, I went to a family birthday party and I'm still feeling pretty crappy. Even though I would have loved to go in sweat pants and a tshirt because I like to wear loose clothing when I have abdominal pain, I know how judgmental my family can be so I reluctantly put on jeans and a blouse. Well, I get there and am told, "What have you done to your hair? You don't want to look ugly AND have Crohn's do you?!" I might be looking a little too far into this but to me it looks like having Crohn's is a big negative in a social context. I just think if you're really that put off by, my pain and sickness even if it is in an area that isn't talked about much, then you're not a person I want to be friends with or in a relationship with. But maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way.

Post Edited (Lovely985) : 2/11/2012 9:52:53 PM (GMT-7)

not embarrassed at all! kinda proud actually that i have survived all that i have.. tell them to f off and go about your life.. ;o)

***? Do what randy says, word for word.

It's your business how you dress. Your family would cry at the sight of me, since I loathe and despise dressing up and have given up trying to do so for many years. Plus when I get my hair cut, I get it cut as short as a man's and it looks austere, to say the least. (Bit too austere, but it grows quickly...)

I dunno; I would go nuts if a member of my family said anything like that to me, to the point I'd probably have violent fantasies afterwards of hitting them. My family are pretty good, though. They certainly wouldn't tell me I looked ugly. Mind, refraining from calling somebody ugly just seems like basic socialisation, the sort of thing you would teach a toddler not to do.

THEY should be embarrassed for their comments. NOT YOU. They're just showing their ignorance. Give them time to get to understand it more and teach them so they understand. And you keep being you. Hang tough kiddo. You have the right outlook on things!

I second what Stef said...THEY should be embarrassed for their poor social skills and ignorance. That being said, I would try your best to put it in the past and move forward, knowing that this isn't a person you should discuss your health with. Some people don't know enough, don't care enough, or don't have common sense to know what they should or shouldn't say when dealing with health issues. They might not have had any bad intentions, but I would not give them an opportunity to comment on my health if I were you.

as for me, i didnt mean to be so blunt, but hey ive been on prednisone since oct! ;o)... hope you find an answer... randy

Thanks for your responses! I really do have to learn not to let stupid comments affect me. I have the problem where I always think people are more understanding and compassionate than they really are. When they ask me about crohn's i assume it's to widen their understanding of it not to later make fun of it. And I sometimes think about what Ron White says" you can't fix stupid" and how true it is. I have to learn to be like like you,Randy, I wish I could be thay blunt! Sometimes I think about saying things like that to those ignorant bit rarely do.I'm glad I have you guys to come to though:)