its all in your head

Hello every one just wanted to let you all know that if you have chrohns disease like me here is some advice from my wife as she tells me and now i pass it on to you as what she says is good advice and knowledge!!!

It's all in your head you just want to give up and if you talk about it you just want to give up and be disabled and be lazy and other people that you know don't want to hear about your problems with it so me and all chrohns suffers should shut up about it and act like we never had a bowl resection or went trough all the barfing the pain and btw that 2 is all in your mutha f ing  head too !!!!

I hope that i was some help on letting you all know what to do !!!

Remember it's all in your head and we are giving up!!!!

P.S. we chrohns suffers do not have a serious problem like someone with that has had back surgery (( which she had and she was fixed)) and people who suffers with Gout ((which she has in her knee)) and complains about the pain all the time and she has pills that takes the flare up away !! but I am not aloud to complain about the pain that I have every waking day of my life!!!

but remember we the chrohns disease suffers do not have a serious condition!!

sorry to break the news to ya people.

Post Edited (biggchevy) : 7/18/2012 7:35:01 PM (GMT-6)

Maybe this is a bit too forward, but... why are you still married? O.o

- What NCoT said XD

I can relate- my father 'doesn't believe' in crohn's and told me to eat more keifer-- at least I could hang up the phone on him ;)

In all seriousness- I hope you can have a heart to heart talk with her-- I am sure our loved ones go through a lot too- I imagine it is difficult and frustrating for them -- I know she doesn't seem understanding with her comments but imam sure she is just overwhelmed.

thanks for all the kind comments to every one i am sure my wife is over welmed with this and i thought she would understand more better cause her sister has chrohns as well but she was diagnosed back in 96 right before we got married and we watched her go from a 300 pound lady to 115 pound lady in 2 yrs and she was in stage 3 chrohns.

i was diagnosed stage 2 chrohns in august 12 2002 in which it almost killed me thank God for doctors that found it in time cause i thought it was my appendix but when they found it to be more than my appendix they found that my intestines where the small and large intestines connect was closed shut and was swollen the size of a football and upon removing it the intestines burst but they moved it in time .

I awoke in recovery with a bandage on my body from my waist line up to my chest it kind of scared me and then i was told by my wife that i have chrohns and then i was devastated about this news.

So yeah my wife might be tired of it but she should always be understanding and always open to talk about it and understand what is to come I tell her I don't want give up but my body wants too.

But I guess thats what I get for marrying a nurse that has been in the medical field.

So mybe one day we will see eye to eye and quit arguing about me wanting to talk about the problems that I am having with it.

So stay strong Chrohns people one day they might find a cure.

signed

Chrohns survivor since August 12, 2002

I can relate.  My husband thinks if we don't talk about it then it will go away.  That's how he deals (or doesn't deal) with it - he doesn't talk about it.  Hard not to talk about it after 6 surgeries within 2 years including a bowel resection and a freaking hole 4 inches deep and three inches wide in your side left over from a drain.  BTW - I had to empy that drain of feces everyday and measure it for the doctor - loved that part!  He still doesn't understand why I don't go fishing with him on the boat - what happens when I have to go to the bathroom?????  There is no holding it sometimes.  I remember one night I was going through some bad spells where i would get really faint and almost pass out with the pain.  I was int he bathroom (my second home) and it was way intot he middle of the night and I was having one of these spells.  I hollered to wake him up becasue I was scared I would pass out and no one would know.  He came into the bathroom and complained about being woke up - nevermind that he might need to call 911 for me. 

On a positive note I have learned to forget what he thinks or says.  I know my body and I have to take of myself when no one else will help me.  I think my husband is jealous of the attention I get when I am sick.  Who wants attention from doctors?  It is hard to ignore the comments soemtimes, but I know I am the better person and what good does it do to explain - none I have learned because he doesn't listen, he doesn't talk about it.  Sites like this is a great place for those who want to listen and give advice and help those of us with spouses like this.  I am lucky that my mom and dad have been supportive.  My mom has CD too and although when she was first sick my dad was somewhat this way he has learned over the years and he has come around.  He now helps her change her ostomy bag.  Maybe our spouses will come around one day too - good luck!  Until then I will say a prayer for you and your wife!

It has to be exhausting dealing with that on top of feeling sick from CD. I can sort of relate (although my husband would never straight out say things were in my head and would NEVER speak to me that way), as I was active and healthy when my husband and I first started dating and about 2 years into our relationship started to feel sick. We were in college and he could never understand why I didn't want to go out partying anymore and why I was always so tired. I tended to keep my disease to myself and he learned that if he wanted to be with me he would have to listen and keep his mouth shut if I said I wasn't up for more than a movie at home. And when I was feeling good I made sure to make the best of it with him. Once we got engaged I asked him to go to a doctor's appointment with me and my GI was great about educating him about CD, and I feel it sunk in much better hearing it from an outsider (with a medical degree). My husband is now very understanding of my CD and compassionate when I am not feeling well. He frequently goes to DR appointments with me and is a big part in deciding different treatments and such. Have you brought your wife to your appointments lately? Do you think that it would help her to be more understanding if she heard how you were feeling from an outside person?

I used to have to tell myself that my loved ones were dealing with this disease as well and they were doing the best they can, it can be frustrating for everyone involved. That being said . . . disrespect and blaming should not be commonplace in a marriage, and I suggest you discuss these boundaries with your wife. Making your "life a living hell" is an empty threat, but also an indication that she still wants you around. Good luck!!