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Posted 7/22/2012 11:28 PM (GMT 0)
So what if I'm going through a spell of crohn's and weight loss.

For the last few months, bowel been bothering me, was started

on a new medication, went into a flare, started on fluids and the

usual.

What gets to me more than the crohn's is hearing comments

from family and friends/ asking what happened to me, I use to be so full and look so nice.   A neighbour whom I haven't seen in a while and think is in her late 80's said to me,

"what happened, you shouldn't be looking like me ".  Another friend came by that I haven't seen in a while and was actually crying.   My entire body lost weight and  my face lost weight and she brought up the same thing, that my face use to be rounder, well do you know how that made me feel?  Made me feel like something is really wrong with me, lol.

The worst was when I was leaving for a trip, my husband seen

me off and I was waiting in the boarding area, and a woman

sitting across from me asked if that was my son.  Ouch...that hurt.

I know I lost weight and it aged me a lot, but I wish if people don't have anything nice or positive to say, they wouldn't say anything at all. 

I know I need to get rid of the flare and the problem first,

but I really want to put on weight for me, I want it for me.  It hurts me as well to look in a mirror.  Do you think it's wrong or vain to want to look like I use to or close to it?

Please if you have CD with weight loss and it's starting to upset you, please share.

Post Edited (dorri) : 7/22/2012 5:35:27 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/23/2012 12:11 AM (GMT 0)
Absolutely not wrong or vain of you to feel this way. Crohns and Colitis are two painful diseases that cause alot of awful things to happen. And for those of us who felt 'complete' with our bodies prior to disease, will likely feel awful when disease hits.

I feel the same way. I'm not vain, I just appreciate the human physique for all that it truly can be with good health, and I want my health and my body back. I only lost 10lbs, but i'm sorry to hear about your weight loss. :( I don't feel like a man, I feel like a 17 year old boy. :( When flaring subsides and this gets easier to deal with, its easier to put on more weight.

Once I moved home for the summer with my family, I put on a few lbs and somewhat normal again. If I could just gain 10-15 lbs I'd be very happy!
Posted 7/23/2012 12:18 AM (GMT 0)
I need about 20-25 pounds to gain. ***.

When I ask my mirror:

Mirror Mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest of them all


Mirror says: Not you biatch! You look like road kill.

Then I go. cry
Posted 7/23/2012 12:26 AM (GMT 0)
I am the opposite. I gain weight on the meds and UC doesn't make me lose weight either. You would think it would but it doesn't. Frustrating to look in the mirror and see the round "moon" face from the pred. I've always battled my weight and before UC had finally been happy with how I looked. I've finally lost some weight this year and still need to lose more but its not as easy as it once was. I have been lucky that noone has ever made a comment about how much weight I had put on. In fact, people would say "your trying to get well, who cares about the weight". I wish all people were like that.
Posted 7/23/2012 12:42 AM (GMT 0)
(((Dorri)))
Posted 7/23/2012 1:11 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks guys, your understanding moves me to tears.
I appreciate all your replies, hugs and the reply with humor...Mirror Mirror on the wall... you had me smiling on that one.

In all seriousness, I really want to gain weight. I don't want to look in the mirror and see myself wasting away or think I must be dying. Hope this crohn's episode passes quickly. Guess I'm just a little down and out lately.
Posted 7/23/2012 2:09 PM (GMT 0)
Don`t let it get you down!! people who don`t have crohnic digestive problems won`t really ever understand.. unless they have dealt with a painful flare up.. stressing out while trying to gain weight is not a good start, you know that alot of stress causes indigestion.. and burns calories needlessly ,, some of my long time friends, know i have crohns, and joke with me, and call me starvin marven from the old south park episodes.. but after 3 bowel resections what can you expect, besides for me a little under weight means i probley don`t have to worry about high blood pressure, colesterol problems, and other over weight health problems..listen to your body it`ll tell you when to eat, just learn what you can digest easily,, so try to relax, read a book? maybe a small hobby project? better to VENT IT OUT.. take care!!!
Posted 7/23/2012 7:15 PM (GMT 0)
I'm saying this as somebody who seldom does anything like this for herself--but maybe you deserve to pamper yourself a little bit when you're feeling this low, physically and emotionally. Go get a massage. Or a pedicure. Or a good haircut, where they shampoo your hair first, massaging your scalp in nice, warm water. Or go to a bookstore with a cafe, and buy yourself a lovely little pastry (Barnes & Noble has sweetly satisfying vanilla buttercream cupcakes, for example) and something to drink--and browse through a few lowbrow magazines for an hour. Or rent a video that's funny or absorbing. Or buy yourself a pretty, snuggly nightgown or pair of pajamas, wash your hair, and settle in for an evening with a good book or reruns of your favorite TV show.

Living with this disease can make you depressed for short or long stretches of time. While you're feeling down, be as nice to yourself as you can be, until things improve.

In the meantime, know that all of us have been there, and we understand what you're going through.
Posted 7/23/2012 8:23 PM (GMT 0)
Was I the only underweight Crohnie who never really got any of this? :-/

Even at my lowest weight (83lb at 5'0"), I didn't receive many comments about my figure at all, and of the few I did receive, at least half were flattering ("you look good!"). Yeah. Actually the flattering comments were more annoying than the concerned comments, because it made me feel like that the only freaking way to be seen as attractive as a female today is to be literally anorexic. Do these people have any concept of how bad it is for you to be miles below your body's natural setpoint? They should see the mortality rates for underweight, normal, overweight and obese people, and then I'd bet they'd get a surprise. In a nutshell, the only group of people which die more than the underweight are the morbidly obese.

At least when people say how bad you look, they're recognising that you're ill and you look ill. I never seem tolook ill, no matter how ill I feel. Again, it's annoying (to me) to be told I look well, when I don't feel it.
Posted 7/23/2012 8:32 PM (GMT 0)
Also, I'm not being funny, but I developed a bloody eating disorder as a result of losing weight. It was a vicious circle: the more I lost, the more frightened I became to eat and the more I feared putting weight on. I had to make a deliberate determination to eat more, because I was rarely that starving hungry really. Anyway, so nobody still thinks I'm 83lb, I have managed to put on a stone or so over the past year. Not entirely happy about it, but the rational part of me has to argue against that.

Sorry, Dorri. I kinda got onto my own personal soapbox there. I dunno what you've done, if anything, to put on weight, but getting in thousands of calories a day is honestly not hard, even if you don't have a huge appetite. It depends on if you can keep it down/absorb it.
Posted 7/23/2012 9:20 PM (GMT 0)
My doctor is on my back now about gaining some weight. Yeah, right. When he started suggesting all these sweet things to eat and drink I actually started feeling gaggy! I flat told him I can't do much sweets w/o getting nauseous.

I have to rely on pasta, gravies, sauces, casseroles, etc. for weight gain. Tuna noodle casserole and mashed potatoes and gravy are two of my very favorites. Creamed soups alone or as a sauce or gravy help.

Six small meals instead of 3 larger ones can actually help w/weight gain. I find it hard to eat a balanced diet w/6 small meals a day but ... weight has become more important than balanced diet for the time being.
Posted 7/23/2012 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
I appreciate all your kind advice. Think I do need to pamper myself a bit.
NiceCupofTea, that's okay, your welcome to share your personal soap box with me anytime. Wish I could put that stone on but know it will take time.

What I've done in the past to put weight on, is force feed myself, at first it's hard to do while the stomach stretches bit by bit, but eventually a pound to 2 does show up with each week so in a couple of months I can gain 10 lbs or so. It wasn't enough for me to go for the junk food, what I had to do is make up a daily chart and count calories, that way I made sure I got enough per day. What I'm noticing with each weight loss, a little goes off my face and it's hard to put the facial fat back, so I do have the gaunt look. The weight does show up on my arms, chest and fanny, so my clothes look better.

By the way, it does make me feel better thinking people come up with insensitive comments about the way I look because they would rather not ask directly if I'm sick? I think I would prefer for them to just come out and ask and lol, it better not be on a day that I'm feeling good.
Posted 7/23/2012 9:35 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks CT, I'll keep the gravy in mind. Atleast that's something I love, gravy and mashed potatoes or a hot gravy sandwich yum, yum...hope to get off these fluids soon.

I think if one always had a problem with being borderline thin and has a lot of active disease, it's probably best to have a little surplus for weight, that way when you get CD attacks it won't leave you looking like a toothpick. Some may not agree with my advice, but I sure wish I had some fat stores to spare.
It seems the older I get the more the weight loss shows on me.
Posted 7/23/2012 10:14 PM (GMT 0)
You don't even have to force feed yourself - 8 drinks equivalent to Fortisip, which is 300 calories in a 125ml bottle, and you've got 2400 calories without much volume. If there isn't a commercial equivalent, you could always make your own drinks. Foodwise, it's harder to keep track of calories and some calorie-dense things (nuts for example) are not necessarily Crohn's-friendly. But it's still doable: peanut butter, butter, cream, oil, etc. I personally can eat Nutella straight from the jar, and a peanut butter and nutella sandwich doesn't go amiss either. If you don't have a sweet tooth, then think of oil or cream heavy dressings added to carbohydrates, and so on. The principles of healthy eating don't apply to the ill or the underweight - calories is literally calories. (Plus some healthy eating principles really are very dubious in the light of more detailed evidence - fat is bad, for example. The effects of demonising fat for so long has just led indirectly to the US getting fatter, ironically enough.)

Ahem... *pulls out soapbox again* >_>

It's not really a sign of psychologically healthy thinking on my part, but I kinda liked being underweight. Hate the weight I'm at now, not because I'm overweight, but because literally every last pound seems to have gone to my stomach. If it was more evenly distributed, I wouldn't mind as much. But now, what with the abdominal bloating, the old clothes which are too small for me now, and the near constant stomach ache from the Crohn's, made worse by tight waistbands pressing against it, I feel like a miniature whale.

Sorry. *steps off soapbox*.. <___<

On the plus side, my face probably does look a bit better now...
Posted 7/23/2012 11:53 PM (GMT 0)
Oh no, I understand, I really do, I have tried to put on fast weight in the past and that is exactly what happened to me to the Tee or should I say to the ""b" as in belly bloat" I remember the time that I would eat a lot of junk food, anything that would fill my calorie quota real quick for the day, so I wouldn't have to stuff myself with lots of food. I'm still learning but now I do try to include some healthy food, proteins, vegetables, oatmeal etc...
You are right, bloat or big belly even for a thin person is uncomfortable. I too wish that fat would get distributed more evenly over the body. There must be a way???
Posted 7/24/2012 12:22 AM (GMT 0)
I wouldn't even say I tried to put on weight quickly... :-/

Mind, at one point I was drinking about 7-8 Fortisips a day, along with a couple of bowls of soup, for about a month. I don't remember putting on a lot of weight back then, even though I must have been having 2500 calories a day.

I'd much rather have a mixture of healthy food and junk, I have to say. I actually found myself craving a healthy chicken miso soup in the supermarket today, but decided the endame beans and other veg were risking it a bit, so I settled for some sushi instead. Followed by a duck's leg for dinner, so at least I got in more protein than usual.

Apparently abdominal fat does eventually redistribute if you keep on eating enough, but I must admit I find it hard to take on faith :-/
Posted 7/24/2012 12:41 AM (GMT 0)
HAHAHA Somedude!!

nawlinskate,

pampering yourself soothes the soul, as silly as this sounds. :)

The idea of clothes shopping makes lose my appetite, but once I'm in front of a mirror with a new shirt thats just right, I feel good.

Bubble baths, spas, chocolate once in a while... ? hey a guy needs love too! :)

Post Edited (stereofidelic89) : 7/23/2012 6:56:14 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/24/2012 2:08 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Dori I actually know exactly how you feel, I have been going through a flare for a while now and I too am having issues with weight I am about 5ft 6in and weigh 113, my comfortable weight is 130, so i have been getting comments too, my neighbor asked my other neighbor who then told me that he was very worried that i am anorexic or sick or something, then the other day my hubbie and I were at a concert and they were asking people for blood donations well I wasnt planning on doing it but the lady walked up to my husband then looked at me and said "oh honey u cant give blood you have to weigh more than 110"  my jaw just dropped!! So many people will just come up to you and say wow you are so thin how do you do it?? I actually have my 15 year class reunion in a couple of weeks and don't want to go cause I don't want people to think I am anorexic or have an eating disorder, funny cause most people dont want to go cause they think they r to heavy. Guess I could go on and on about this and i am sure some people think boo hoo you and wish they could lose weight, well I would gladly give them this dang disease in exchange for their 30lbs they wish they could loose!!  Anyway guess I am just venting i would never wish this disease on anyone but just wanted to let you know I know exactly how you feel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   i eat a big bowl of icecream everynight to boost calories
Posted 7/24/2012 7:33 PM (GMT 0)
Well here goes my two cents...

Right now, I have 5.9ft and 138 pounds, so I would like 20 more.
I'm actually losing it in a rate of 2 pounds per month. Even starting pred didn't seem to help much!!

And I from time to time, can't help thinking "I must be dying" too.

But I manage to have some fun occasionally. (but the answer has to come with a thin smile)
When people say "It seems like you're going to disapear", answer "Yes, that's my new goal."
When people say "You're so thin",
answer "Yes, I'm sick". (Let then wandering...)
"I have emotional disorders."
"I know, it's all in my mind, do you know a good surgeon to remove it?"
"Two less pounds and I reach my ideal weight."
"I'm trying to fly. Almost there!"
or
"My goal is to contribute to lower the average weight of the population."

ps. Alfred E. Newman (MAD magazine) was right about some kind of questions...

Daniel
Posted 7/24/2012 7:48 PM (GMT 0)
I totally understand and share these sentiments. I'm a 35-year-old male, and my height is about 5-foot-10 (between 10 and 11), and I last weighed in at 122 pounds (last Friday).

Last week, I saw a friend I haven't seen for years, and the first thing she did was to crinkle up her face in faux-disgust at how gaunt I am, followed by a snide comment about it. I know she didn't mean to insult me (she's not particularly gifted when it comes to being tactful), but it was pretty irritating, mostly because it happens to me a lot.

There's a double standard where you're not allowed to directly comment to overweight people about how they need to lose weight, or it's considered rude. But because "thin is in," skinny people are fair game, regardless of whether their weight is a medical problem they're struggling to overcome.
Posted 7/24/2012 8:46 PM (GMT 0)
There's a double standard where you're not allowed to directly comment to overweight people about how they need to lose weight, or it's considered rude. But because "thin is in," skinny people are fair game, regardless of whether their weight is a medical problem they're struggling to overcome.]

Comments like this annoy me no end.

I've been both under and overweight, and, trust me, overweight people are a million times more despised and insulted than thin people. Stop going on a pity party for being at a weight that, rightly or wrongly, the vast majority envy or, if not envy, at least don't freaking attach moral judgements to. Fat people are unabashedly seen as ugly, lazy, greedy, stupid, and uncaring about their health and appearance by many. The only stigma being underweight has attached to it is that people might think you are anorexic - oh, how horrifying.

Post Edited (NiceCupOfTea) : 7/24/2012 2:50:06 PM (GMT-6)

Posted 7/24/2012 10:01 PM (GMT 0)

NiceCupOfTea said...
There's a double standard where you're not allowed to directly comment to overweight people about how they need to lose weight, or it's considered rude. But because "thin is in," skinny people are fair game, regardless of whether their weight is a medical problem they're struggling to overcome.]

Comments like this annoy me no end.

I've been both under and overweight, and, trust me, overweight people are a million times more despised and insulted than thin people. Stop going on a pity party for being at a weight that, rightly or wrongly, the vast majority envy or, if not envy, at least don't freaking attach moral judgements to. Fat people are unabashedly seen as ugly, lazy, greedy, stupid, and uncaring about their health and appearance by many. The only stigma being underweight has attached to it is that people might think you are anorexic - oh, how horrifying.

Woah, there. I wasn't saying anything about "fat people" (your words, not mine), just that people in general think it's OK to criticize me for my weight — not poke fun at (which I do myself), but insinuate that I'm this way on purpose. I always make jokes about being a bean pole, having a bony butt, etc.

When I was younger, there was a point where I was a bit chunky, and I hated it. So I know what that's like. I would never casually tell someone they need to lose weight. It's just human decency.

I don't see how anything I'm saying is objectionable.
Posted 7/24/2012 10:51 PM (GMT 0)
Boy, this post hit it right on the head with me.

I've lost 40 pounds and can not put any weight back on.  My daughter saw a driver's license picture from 5 years ago and said I did not look like that anymore.  I know she was not trying to be mean but it's true.  I can't believe how much i have aged.  This disease sucks.  I could go on and on.  At first it really hurt. Now I don't pay much attention to it anymore.  I'm trying to rid my life of stress as much as I can.  Stress just racks my body.   Try not to get down. 

Posted 7/24/2012 11:08 PM (GMT 0)

Boloby said...

NiceCupOfTea said...
There's a double standard where you're not allowed to directly comment to overweight people about how they need to lose weight, or it's considered rude. But because "thin is in," skinny people are fair game, regardless of whether their weight is a medical problem they're struggling to overcome.]

Comments like this annoy me no end.

I've been both under and overweight, and, trust me, overweight people are a million times more despised and insulted than thin people. Stop going on a pity party for being at a weight that, rightly or wrongly, the vast majority envy or, if not envy, at least don't freaking attach moral judgements to. Fat people are unabashedly seen as ugly, lazy, greedy, stupid, and uncaring about their health and appearance by many. The only stigma being underweight has attached to it is that people might think you are anorexic - oh, how horrifying.

Woah, there. I wasn't saying anything about "fat people" (your words, not mine), just that people in general think it's OK to criticize me for my weight — not poke fun at (which I do myself), but insinuate that I'm this way on purpose. I always make jokes about being a bean pole, having a bony butt, etc.

When I was younger, there was a point where I was a bit chunky, and I hated it. So I know what that's like. I would never casually tell someone they need to lose weight. It's just human decency.

I don't see how anything I'm saying is objectionable.

Fat girl at work tells me I'm fading away. I should tell her she's starting to eclipse the sun.

But whatever.... smilewinkgrin
Posted 7/24/2012 11:39 PM (GMT 0)
All I can say is when I was an overweight child/teenager I was made to feel fat and ugly - especially by my lovely older brothers - and as a result I went through my teenage years knowing inside out that I was too fat and ugly for any boy to fancy me. Can you imagine how well-adjusted such a mindset made me? Yep, you got it: I was a sorted bunny. Not.

I also firmly believe most children learn from an early age to fear fat. I've seen it happen with my two nephews, who'll probably grow up to regard any girl above BMI 20-21 as a munter. I browse internet forums where people say what they really think - what would be socially unacceptable in real life to say - and as a result could provide a genuine anti-fat quote a day. And by anti-fat I don't mean a bit of light-hearted banter, I mean disgust, revulsion or resentment.

Yeah, yeah. I'm on my soapbox and progressing ever further from the point. I just felt literal rage when I read some of the posts in this thread. Still do, tbh. Skinny people complaining about the insults they get is literally akin to a 'privliged' group complaining about the insults they get - like it not, that's how it is. And I have little sympathy for skinny people as part of that 'privileged' group.
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