CD, weight loss comments that hurt.

All right, I've finally calmed down. A bit... :-/

I haven't really changed my mind, but I shouldn't try to deter people from moaning, venting, or whatever. That's not the right thing to do. If you want to express dissatisfaction about being called a skeleton, go ahead, do so. I'll just have to grit my teeth, saw off my own tongue, bang my head against a wall, pour steaming sulphuric acid over my keyboard, and close the tab - or I could just try closing the tab first and not doing any of the others... Nah.

NiceCupOfTea said...
Just to add: if you lost weight as part of this crappy disease, then I'm sorry for that much, I really am. But am I sorry for people envying you for being slim? Am I ****?!!!! If you want sympathy for that, there's loads of people who'll give it to you, but not me I'm afraid. So what if the ones commenting on your weight loss don't understand what your disease is like? Why should they have a discreet sensitivity, when virtually nobody else does? I listen to the hypos around me bang on about their cold or other minor ailment for 15 minutes at a time. Their cold will be gone in 3 days, yet they've gone on more about their cold in 15 sodding minutes than I've gone about my chronic disease which I've had for 12 years without remission to them.

My sympathies nowadays go to teh fatties. As well as my own unfortunate experiences, it pains me, for example, to see my lovely, sweet, intelligent friend have low self-esteem because she is large. It has become sickening, the extent to which we morally judge the overweight. And there's the key sodding word: 'morally' judge.

*somebody finally pulls soapbox out from underneath my feet* >___>

I'm sorry if you felt slighted in anyway, but I think you read something into my post that wasn't there. I was trying to offer my support and my own thoughts to the OP.

And I totally understand your point about people complaining about being "sick" for a day or two when we have to deal with chronic illness.

Fatties and bonies should unite! But seriously, this should be about offering support for each other because we don't need to be having silly arguments (born out of message board limitations) get in the way. The point is to find common ground. I've been suffering from Crohn's for years, and now my PSC has put me on the liver transplant list. I'm going through a real crap time right now, and I'm trying to avoid any and all stress and negativity, so I'm only interested in getting along here.

Here's the thing: behind each silly screen name is a real person with a detailed and complicated life that can't be expressed or understood through a few message board posts. It's important to remember that.

And if I've ever written anything more rambling and incoherent than this, I'd be surprised. I just felt a bit caught off guard by your initial response. But I understand your points, and I want to agree, not argue, because we agree on the basic point. I wish you well.

Somedude said...

Boloby said...
But seriously, this should be about offering support for each other because we don't need to be having silly arguments l.

Speak for yourself. I come here, explicitly to see NCOT get into arguments from time to time.

I'm new, so I'm not familiar, though I definitely know this now. I used to love arguing online, but nowadays, I won't let myself get into anything too prolonged because a) given my current condition, I am adamant about avoiding stress (if others can do this stress-free, more power to you) and b) I work from home computer and already spend too much time farting around on the web. Which reminds me...

Boloby said...


I'm new, so I'm not familiar, though I definitely know this now. I used to love arguing online, but nowadays, I won't let myself get into anything too prolonged because a) given my current condition, I am adamant about avoiding stress (if others can do this stress-free, more power to you) and b) I work from home computer and already spend too much time farting around on the web. Which reminds me...

Yeah, don't worry about it bro. Internet and arguing go hand in hand in any subject. The trick is to have a thick skin.

I'm 5-9 and my weight is always between 102 and 108. It just goes back and forth. I would love to gain some weight but nothing works for me. My doctor is really trying to get me to gain some weight but once i start gaining a lb or 2, it just goes back down. I get comments all the time that are either how I look amazing, I should be on a runway because I'm so skinny and tall, or I wish I was like you. All I want to say is really? Are you kidding me? And then I get comments that are the opposite like I hear whispering she is so skinny, it scares me. Or do you eat enough? Or you need to eat more. I honestly can't tell you which is worse. But it all bothers me too. But I hear comments like these almost daily, so I'm pretty use to it and let it go in one ear and out the other. The real question is what is the best way to respond to these people? Or when someone assumes because you are so skinny you aren't eating or if they see you eat a lot then you must be throwing up 10minutes later. If I get up from a table to go to the restroom after eating a big meal, I get dirty looks. I've even had people follow me in to the restroom. Ive dealt with this for so many years you have no idea how much it really does bother you unless you hear the comments or see the looks.

I just really wish people weren't so hung up on the looks of skinny or fat people. I wish none of us had to worry about any of this. You can't be to skinny, you can't be to fat.

Totally justified in feeling hurt and angry, but not at the people. They think they're paying you a compliment, or are simply showing concern, or in the case of the "Is that your son?" just trying to make conversation and, out of ignorance, paid you an insult.

I get "You look so pale..." a lot. I'm super pale to start with, and when I'm not feeling well I get even paler. I make jokes that if I were suddenly exposed to gamma radiation, I'd mutate into a vampire and start feasting on young village maidens at night. Sometimes I feel like I already have. The undead part, not the feasting part.