Feeling lonely, losing friends

Even my husband must be sick of being around me because all I do is cry or ***** about how crapty I feel all the time. I'd like to think that this latest mega-flare wasn't consuming my ****ing life, but it is. I have become more depressed than ever. So depressed that I sometimes contemplate if it's even worth it to keep going. Which is so not like me. But I am sick 24/7 and haven't had much relief in over a year. Nobody understands what I am going through. I am tired of laying in bed all day every day unable to even take care of myself anymore. I feel so weak and helpless, and I know people are just sick to death of me at this point. I'm sorry I'm no fun to be around.

I never had a lot of friends to begin with, now I feel like I have none. It's been weeks since someone contacted me. My husband is the only person I really talk to anymore. And my mom, but I can't talk to my mom too often because although she means well and I love her to death, she can be quite stressful. But aside from that, I've got nobody else at the moment, and it makes me sad.

I try to just immerse myself in books and video games and Harry Potter Marathons, but it's just not the same when you're alone. I'm very sad lately. Just so very, very sad. I wish I had spent more time when I was feeling well building up a support system. :\

It sucks harder than a black hole being chronicly ill :-/

I have a similar depression, but with me it results more in apathy. I find it hard to concentrate - like right now :-/

I'm sorry, I wish I could help more. I'm ill, have been ill for years, and it never really goes away anymore. It's dispiriting, just feel like I'm not having a life at all like this. The one thing I'm not plagued by at the moment and that is loneliness. I don't even know why; maybe my parents - my mum in particular - are enough company at the moment, on top of the online posting I do. But I have been deeply lonely in the past and fear its return: that too sucks harder than a black hole.

Not a lot else I can say... *hugs* :-/

hi there! i think, well know, that a lot of us have been or are in the same place you are. life sucks with crohn's. no way around it. its a horrible disease...and what makes it worse is the symptoms can be down right embarrasing and stuff you don't want to talk about. this term sucks but i always say it's not a "sexy" disease...you know- all diseases are horrible but some get more attention and are eaiser to talk about. cohn's not so much. for me this made the past 22 years really tough. i hid my disease from everyone for so long and it cost me a lot. a lot of friends, a lot of life experiences...people must have thought i was just weird- not wanting to go out, disappearing from the bars without a word...i never told anyone. the only reason i ended up telling my girlfriend (now wife) at the time was because she got pulled over for speeding and my gut said "hello mr. police officer" and i almost crapped my pants. had to run back to the cop car and tell him why i was running into the woods. thank god he was cool. anyway my girlfriend was freaking out yelling at me so i said what the hell and told her...rough trip to her folks house that ended up being. since then i've told a few people. my good friends know i have crohn's but not really what it means bc i don't say much. they know i;m in pain and use the br a lot but i'm still so embarrased if i have to use the br etc. there are a lot of times i cry when im by myself...in the car, at home. sometimes its just overwhelming. like you i really have no one to talk to. that's why this forum and some of the people ive met and talk to off lne mean so much. it's good that you're reaching out. there are a lot of good people here and we're all going through similar things. when it gets really tough for me i try to think of my beautiful 7 year old daughter and how i need to be there for her. just try to take one day at a time. watch or read things that make you laugh. do you have a dog? if not get one. get two and snuggle them all the time. mine know when i'm hurting and lay with me. it helps a lot. go outside. even if it's just sitting in the yard. i started seeing a psycologist with my wife bc crohns (among other things) was taking a heavy toll on our relationship. the 1st time there he showed me how much i was hurting and how much things like not sleeping EVER due to pain and constantly running to the bathroom was exacting a HUGE toll on me mentally...i lost it. i cried for 20 minutes. but it felt good. i had never let myself release so many emotions in front of anyone. i always held it in. always kept everything to myself. i think that was a big step. please find someone to talk to. call a friend who might not know about crohns and meet them for a cup of tea or something...tell them what's up. bring people into your life. get out of the house. it will make you fell better. not perfect, and it will take time but you will feel better about life and about yourself. bc bottom line- you have crohn's and you will deal with it. having crohn's is not our choice. living with crohn's is our choice. you can do this and feel much better about yourself. keep posting. I really hope you have a wonderful weekend! (well what's left of it.). Take care!

It is rough..I have been fighting this for 30 years..but they would say I had crohns then I didnt...so was finally diagnosed after seeing 4 Drs and exploratory emergency surgery..

My main problem is Diarrhea dont usually have pain until I get blockages which are happening more often...Was getting in a real dark place so Dr put me on Antidepression meds..and WOW are they causing the Diarrhea....no control...and cant leave house....I never knew before taking them when I would have a blow out and have been wearing depends for years..but they dont always protect....my friends are great when I'm in Hospital...but been shut in for days now and no one comes to see me or calls...they send text in AM to make sure I'm breathing but that is all...This hurts...I need contact ...but what can we do but pray and keep plugging away...I keep saying it could be worse...and I guess I'm better then alot that I dont have constant pain....tired alot ...weak but wont let that stop me..I keep saying.."I might have crohns..but wont let it ruin or run my life" but right now feel like it is..

But I just try to keep busy and think about better stuff...its horrible but we can do this...Starting azathioprine the 21st...any suggestion welcome....I'm always online...wish they had better chat like messenger...

wow. thanks. i really appreciate reading that oldcrohnie. made me feel really good. i would certainly talk to your friend or email if he would want to...i was diagnosed with this stupid disease at 16 so i went through high school, college, grad school and now work and married life with it. as you know it has not been easy but i've made it so far...and it sounds like your friend is living with his disease the same way i lived with mine...in college i drank, smoked partied...maybe tred to be "too normal" if you know what i mean...i'm sure it exacerbated things and i eventually matured (not really haha) and calmed down. see if he'd want to chat and i'll shoot you my email offline somehow. no pressure- you can even just give it to him to throw in his back pocket. the 1st person i told was the hardest and it's still not easy to tell people what i deal with so i'm sure its the same with him...sounds like he'sucky to have you in his life!

Thanks everyone, sorry it has taken me a bit to respond. Rather than try and respond to everyone individually, I just want to thank you all for your support. I am doing... Ok, I guess. Still in a very bad place mentally and waiting for prednisone to really kick in. I am so, so tired of the symptoms. *sigh*

Hi WingZero,
When I am flaring and feel really sick, I don't have enough energy for friends and I really isolate myself. Hopefully the pred will start to help. You can re-connect or make new friends when you are feeling up to it. I know what a lonely place it is to be. Hang out with us whenever you need to. We've all been there on some level and understand how lonely and frustrating it is!