total colectomy, now I'm scared

I had a total colectomy (maintaining my diseased rectum) 20 days ago, were dismissed 5 days ago, and now I take a temporary ileostomy.
I'm adjusting with ileostomy and at the moment, although I don't like having it, and I'm observing I don't know if I'll be aple to accept it as a 31-year-old single male, if become permanent (there are still chances it's Ulcerative Colitis, and moreover the doctor thinks the rectum could heal as it's resting now), my worries are all about histologic exam of my colon removed.

My last biopsies, 1 year ago, said no cancer at all, and low grade dysplasia, which my doctors were not worried, as they said it's just the inflammation.
But I'm afraid as I had pancolitis, probably Crohn's pancolitis, and 12 year of disease, never in remission (I managed it a bit with diet, but the poor colon was always inflamed). I'm waiting from days for this exam and still didn't arrive.

I read some scaring stories about cancer and Crohn's, and being very hypocondriac and anxious, now I developed the idea they probably found cancers and are analyzing the gravity of that.
Everyone is trying to reassure me, but I can't manage to think I had just crohn's. I already requested psychological help, but don't know when I'll be able to get it.

Anyone have a word for this? Am I just crazy?

I am in the same situation as you. I have just had a temporary loop ileostomy four days ago and still in hospital. I am still adjusting to the bag and learning how to use it. These days are very stressful as we are going through some big changes in our lives. I have had alot of support here at the hospital from the nurses and doctors. Homecare is coming to help me as well. If they will give you psychological help that may help to ease your stress. Think postive and in time all of the pieces will fall into place. Hopefully a colon rest is what you need to get into remission and all of this temporary stress will be worth it in the end.

I have just one comment on the single male with ileostomy. I dated a great guy with crohn's before I got diagnosed it never bothered me one bit that he had a ileostomy.

If you meet a girl and it bothers her she is not worthy of your time or love.

I dunno what you want to hear. My situation is more similar to yours than colitiscanuck's girl, yet why would that make any difference? I can't promise you any more than she can that you only have 'just' Crohn's. Any more you can promise me that my Crohn's won't come back after surgery. Personally, bowel cancer is the last thing on my mind, but I guess we all end up homing in on different things to worry about.

Anyway, here's my situation in a nutshell: Crohn's diagnosis for 12 years. Never been in remission. The entire colon and terminal ileum is affected. No surgery yet, but spoken to a colorectal surgeon a few times. Not a suitable candidate for a temporary ileostomy, a panproctocolectomy with permanent ileostomy is what's on offer - with absolutely no reassurances about the Crohn's not coming back after surgery.

The reality is depressing enough for me, I don't need to be making up additional things to worry about.

Thank you, sincerely...

I think I would find an ileostomy easier to accept if I had UC, simply because I would finally feel I was getting rid of this wretched disease for good. But then again, if I had UC I probably would also be worrying it was Crohn's, so nothing is ever that simple :-/