They said I have cancer and I am now going to see a surgeon tomorrow,

I need to know what questions to ask the surgeon tomorrow,  I have had crohns for 39 years lots of ups and downs but now they say its cancer.   I am thinking positive but this really sucks. Has anyone been in my situation, 

Hi, so sorry to here about that. Hope your doing well. Please let us know how it goes at your doctors. We are all here for you. Take care.

I dont even know where it is or what it is.   I went for a colonoscopy like every year and then a scan and now this surgeon.  I have known since July 2 and have just told my spouse,  I am trying to heal it myself, until they tell me otherwise,  Maybe I am just in denial.  positive denial

Thanks for all the kind words.

 

thx I will

Sorry that you have to go through this. I'll be praying for you.

Sending my support.

Hi mEILLEUR,
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Hopefully, once you have the surgery and come up with a treatment plan for the cancer, things won't be as overwhelming.If you have Crohn's disease in your colon you are at higher risk for colon cancer, but really, it doesn't much matter what caused it...it is more important to move forward and see how to treat it. Do you have any sense of a prognosis, or can't they tell till you have the surgery? Your son is NOT losing you right now....try to stay hopeful and keep asking questions. We are all here for you, please know that.

Use the forum for support - you're doing a great job! I wish you a great result.

Thx, when there is a real health issue in your life, a bad flair up . How do your spouses handle it. Mine is being a real A-hole. I know he is aftraid for me but whats up, any thoughts.

I am so sorry about your diagnosis. I think it is good that there were no signs of spreading on the scan.

In regards to your husband - many people when faced with a serious health crisis in an immediate family member become frightened. When frightened some express their fear as anger, others by denying the problem. Your husband could be projecting ahead to what life would be without you - is he a half glass full or half glass empty type of person?

My husband was in the Army when we first married. He often had to go away for long periods of time. I found myself getting really nasty, snotty, and nit-picking leading up to each deployment. I found if I was angry when he left it hurt less. Took me about 4 years to realize what I was doing and stop the behavior.

I tell you this because your husband might be actually doing what I did - if he is being an AHole, it might be because in his mind it lessens the hurt should something untoward occurs. As difficult as it may be for you, try being as positive as possible when discussing your upcoming surgery and the outcome. It might reassure him to hear that.

I am so sorry for all of your struggles right now, but I am happy to see your strong and positive outlook. You will get thru this! You really do need support from friends and family. When my sister-in-law was diagnosed with cancer her best advise was to take all the help people offer, whether it's to clean your house, bake meals, visit with movies and magazines, whatever. That being said, you may need to lay out exactly what you need from your husband. Some people don't know how to help and feel helpless which may manifest as anger or other emotions. He's most likely very scared and may need some guidance as to how he can help you get better. Good luck to you and keep up in the loop!