Boyfriends and husbands of those with Crohn's

I'm not a boyfriend or husband, but I feel the same. I didnt tell him what was going on until I had to have the colonoscopy...he knew i was hurting in the bathroom a lot, but thats it. no details. Then I mentioned the blood when they had to do that and he was upset i think, but just cuz he was worried. It was a bit embarrassing having him there when they went over the results, but when I ended up bursting into tears I was glad I had his support.

I still wont get into detail and we dont sit here talking about poop though lol! Dont think we ever will.

I think he's done some research on his own because he suggested a recipe to make tomorrow so I can eat with the family before I go on my diet.

Look, I know its scary and easier said then done...but ultimately, you want someone who will be there for you worst case scenario. You don't have to go into detail, but you can tell him what you have, how you feel and what you are scared of. If he can't handle that, he wont be able to handle all life throws at a couple.

I did find I've had to give my DH space...guys are fixers...and he can't fix this for you. It made my DH very angry to feel that way, and he has been a bit moody and upset. He is beginning to calm down and look for thngs he CAN do and accept that we may have to make changes. I was really upset about him shutting me out until I realize he just needed time to cope with his feelings too, and things are doing better. That was just over a few days. And this is a guy with PTSD!

Tell him what you need from him, and what you don't. (to be treated like China that in my case) Uderstand he has to work through it too, and then move on together!

At some point, in the difficult days before I knew what was happening to me, I had to seek help. The medicines I took for the Crohn's diagnose we're initially ineffective. When I found relief (Cimzia) I constantly worried it would not last.

I did not talk to people about my issue. I told immediate family, and some key co-workers. But to everybody else I remained private about it.

My wife at first thought little of my disorder until someone famous died of Crohn's related disease. That really alerted her to how serious the problem is. When I finally came clean and told my wife of the types of humiliations I had endured, or so I felt it was humiliating, she began to see how difficult it had been for me prior to the medicine working. We took the good health that followed sort of for granted until I was felled by something else. She now appreciates my issues and works hard to understand why I might get anxiety on a 4 or 8 hour trip. "What is your obsession with Starbuck locations?" is no longer heard. She has been an angel.

It remains a private matter until such time when it cannot remain private.

I don't expect people to understand what most of us go through with this disorder. I understand prostate cancer surgery survivors dilemmas' much more now. Socially, it is very difficult. Physically, it can be devastating, and relentless. I wish you all wellness.