Is this the true face of Crohn's

For the last 7 years, I have been torturing myself. Being afflicted by Crohn's changed my life 180 degrees. For me life meant working hard, establishing a career and studying as my job necessitates this. I was ready to do this while having GERD. GERD has never been a debilitating disease. I remember that more than 16 years ago my mum bought me a book about colon diseases as doctors alleged then I had IBS. I opened the book and found a chapter about Crohn's and I told myself "none of my business"; it never crossed my mind then that one day I would be one of its patients.
I read one of the posts about "Spouse CD" and the responses showed that people are suffering and no one is in full remission. By revising their signatures, some of them are on Humira and Remicade. I keep torturing myself for not being able to get biologics and keep thinking of a way to convince the insurance company to give me these biologics. What I discovered from the posts is that people have ups and downs and that's what happens to me. One day I'm fine, the other I'm devastated and can't get out of bed. Still, I try hard to force myself to go to work as I need the money to purchase my meds. I discovered I'm not alone.
Is life going to be like this? I'm now flaring up coz of the sudden tapering of Entocort due to its lack. My mum tells me it's better to get rid of it and she likens me to addicts who suffer when they have to get rid of drugs.
In my visit to my GI, I'll try to come out w the best compromise for my condition but I should not expect much, right? Should I just let it go or keep pursuing my quest for remission which I never know what it means.
I know that this might sound like a vent but I'm drained. Crohn's is living w me and not the opposite.

Please explain something - how has the insurance company denied you biologics? I get the feeling you might be dealing whit the Canadian or British health care systems. If so, I am not sure how they work but someone here will. That said, if your doctor orders them, and the insurance company says "no" here in the US, then he appeals. Most often presented with enough evidence of the amount of disease, the insurance company will acquiesce. The copays can be brutal but in the US the companies have help for those with private [not government funded] insurance.

As to others having ups and downs with their own diseases - you must remember that many of those that most often post here are having a period of "unrest" in their disease. There are many people that find remission or a manageable lessening of symptoms and get on with life with no need for support like this site. I, for one, have attained remission in my bowels. I stay here for other reasons and I do have other fairly severe medical issues caused by years of untreated disease. And we have another group of faithful posters that stay to help out with others new to the disease or having a hard time.

Again, I am very curious about your insurance situation. Some of us might be able to help if you tell us the problem.

Minnie-

I can understand today even moreso how you're feeling. I just had another colonoscopy and my first endoscopy, and yet again, more inflammation, more biopsies, etc. etc. I just get so frustrated by this whole mess, especially when I feel like no one has really helped me find full remission! I used to constantly say, "Why me?" However, I've found that the only response that works for me is recognize that there is no rhyme or reason behind me getting this illness, and I have to accept it for what it is, while also continuing to work to overcome the depression and anxiety that come along with it. Continue to be your own advocate!

I agree with Ides and Stef. Don't rule out biologics just yet. Fight your way up the chain!

Also. I am a big believer in venting, a little bit of chocolate, and a nice warm bubble bath. Those things can really help soothe even the worst aches.